


Libertate și speranță

by LostForeverInHisEyes



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, One Night Only, does she know him?, haunting past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-06-16 20:42:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 69,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15445437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostForeverInHisEyes/pseuds/LostForeverInHisEyes
Summary: A promise of one night, no looking back. No regrets. No names. A simple night of mutual physical pleasure. That was all it was supposed to be. Then she woke up screaming his name - his real name, not the letter. She screamed for him to run in a voice filled with terror - in Romanian. One night, no looking back. This time that promise would be broken.  Callen-centric





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for popping by and checking out my new story. I hope you enjoy. I have rated it M for safety. I'm not entirely sure it needs it but better to be safe though if you disagree and think there's nothing M about this chapter let me know as this is the one that concerns me the most.
> 
> Just a note, Anna doesn't have a role in this AU type story. Sorry to Anna fans but I don't see it yet. Maybe s9 when I get to watch it might change my thoughts. We'll see.  
> Disclaimer: Anything you recognised from the world of NCIS LA: so not mine. OC's - definitely mine. Thank you to those that do own them for letting us play around with their characters and in their world.
> 
> Reviews and thoughts most welcome and appreciated. I love to hear from and interact with my readers. Feedback helps make things better.

* * *

 

She'd caught Callen's attention the moment she'd walked into the restaurant. He'd watched her from his table as she'd been ushered to hers and continued to watch as she'd ordered her meal, eaten in solitude, and hadn't shown anyone any attention.

A woman alone, and content to be alone, was not the kind of woman who usually caught Callen's eye on nights like this. He knew what he was here for and watching a woman like her was a pointless exercise considering his aim for the evening.

She didn't seem interested. But still, he couldn't stop watching or hoping that might change.

Yes, he was here for a woman.

There were nights when Callen craved human contact, not that he would easily admit it to anyone. A warm body next to him, under and around him. He was a man and human. Physical needs were a part of life and, while ideally those kind of needs would be taken care of in the comfort of a relationship, he'd come to the conclusion a long time ago that his life, who he was, didn't fit with the required type of relationship for that particular need.

Joelle had tempted Callen to try again, but he wasn't sure it was actually her who had tempted him or the relationship potential. He was getting older and sometimes he wondered if, maybe, it might be different. If he'd reached that point in his life where he was ready to settle down and commit. Joelle had lasted a long time, the longest in fact of that kind of relationship. But even though he'd known he cared about her he hadn't been able to give it everything. It had needed to end for some time but he wasn't quite sure how to break it off without hurting her, which was important to him. It wasn't her fault that he wasn't cut out for it. Part of him had hoped she might instead. How could he truly be in a relationship with her, or anyone for that matter, when he hadn't been able to tell her who he really was. Even when she had known, and he'd tried to open up, he hadn't been all there. Something in him had held him back, made him keep those final walls intact.

As it turned out, she hadn't told him everything either. He liked to think it was his instincts that had kept his guard up, that some part of him had known something wasn't quite right about her, but deep down he knew why. The reason tucked so deep that he could only see it if he truly wanted to look inside himself.

Trust.

Because he didn't trust those he cared about not to leave him. They always did. Eventually. It wasn't just them though. He also didn't trust himself that he wouldn't leave them. He'd done it countless times in the past and would no doubt again. There was slight twinge in his chest at the thought of leaving his team. This team of his was the closest to a true family that he had. The ones who knew him the most, even though he didn't fully know himself. He didn't have plans to leave them, but given his history, it seemed like a forgone conclusion.

Callen shook off those thoughts. They had no place here tonight.

Tonight was about sex. Sex was a part of life, a natural biological urge, and Callen enjoyed it. He wouldn't deny that. So did those women he sought out when the inevitable time arose that he needed more than simple physical release. He made sure they knew the score.

One night only.

The only promise he made was that they would both walk away satisfied at the end of the night.

The hotel room was booked under a false name, a very comfortable and discrete one. He knew where the cameras were and had chosen the room easiest to avoid his face being caught on film. It was the least he could do to make sure whoever she ended up being was safe from any repercussions.

But this particular woman tonight, the way he felt was something new. He couldn't quite place what it was about her that was drawing him to her. There were plenty of other attractive women here. Some had even approached him, asked him to dance. They'd barely drawn a second glance from him, even with standing so close their bodies had touched his slightly; deliberately he was sure. The glances he did give them only just qualified as polite before he'd been drawn back to her.

She had thick long dark blonde wavy hair, the kind you could easily sink your fingers into and have them lost in the depths. It was held back from her face with two clips.

He could tell her curvaceous body was fit and strong. It wasn't one of the typical model thin ones that were most common in LA. It was one that his instincts knew would fit perfectly beneath him, and feel delightful under and in his hands. Her dress had shown her body off to perfection. It wasn't revealing, just beautifully fitted to those curves and he itched to run his hands over the lines of it, and her.

Callen had watched her eat, really eat, and enjoy her food which told him something very important about her. She was a woman who enjoyed the simple pleasures of life. And he was a man very interested in helping her with one particular type of pleasure.

So, even though she hadn't looked at him at all, (she'd given him, nor anyone else, any encouragement whatsoever), Callen had sent her over a drink when she'd finished her dessert. It was a simple way to get her attention. Not too bold and, if she wasn't interested, she could easily send the drink back. He wouldn't push, even though he wanted her more than he could remember wanting a woman in a long time. That wasn't his way. It was mutual or not at all. Coercing left doubts and nights like these weren't for doubts. They were for passion, pleasure, and yes, to some degree, the comfort of another human being.

When the drink had been placed in front of her, and the waiter had left, she'd turned and looked at him. Her smile floored him and, had his chair not had a back on it, he wouldn't have been surprised if he'd fallen off it, because he felt the impact of it almost as if someone had kicked him. Thankfully it did lack the pain of one but his breath had certainly been affected.

She turned away but somehow Callen still felt her eyes on him.

That was when Callen noticed the mirror on the wall and he looked straight into the reflection of her eyes. Was it possible she had noticed him tonight after all?

She pulled her gaze from his and he watched as she stood up from the table, gathered her small bag and the drink in her hands before she turned to him. One way or another it looked like he was going to at least get to see her up close. She moved to his table and indicated to the chair opposite.

"May I?" she asked.

Her voice drifted over him like a caress. So soft and gentle. The kind of voice that dreams could turn into something exceptionally caring or highly erotic. His mind turned it into the second and his body tightened.

"Please," he said.

"Thank you for the drink."

"You're welcome."

She was beautiful close up too. Her eyes were green, but a paler shade than what he expected; one he hadn't come across before. She had a heart shaped face and lips that were a inviting shade of pink and full. Ready to be kissed since her enjoyment of her meal had removed any trace of lipstick from them.

Callen couldn't place how old she was, not that age was an issue. He had a good enough eye to be able to make sure he didn't pick up underage women. The smoothness of her skin and the barely there makeup hinted at her being on the young side, though it could also suggest she took good care of herself. There was something about her though, something in her eyes and the way she held herself that suggested maturity and a life that wasn't so easy.

They stared at each other for a moment before she smiled and took a sip of her drink.

"Why?" she asked.

"Why what?" Callen pulled his gaze from her lips, having just watched her tongue dart out to catch a drop of her drink that had lingered on her bottom lip.

"Why have you been watching me all night?"

"A beautiful woman eating dinner alone. I was intrigued and wondered why."

She raised an eyebrow. "Because a woman can't eat dinner alone without something being wrong?"

"I didn't say that."

She smiled again and there was something in her green eyes. Something that intrigued him more than the fact that she was eating alone, or how much he was physically attracted to her. He just couldn't put his finger on it.

"Maybe," she said, her voice low, "I was alone because you didn't come over sooner."

"Would I have been welcome?" Callen asked.

"You've been watching me since I walked through the door. Why didn't you try?"

"Have you been watching me?"

"In a way."

The mirror. He'd been too caught up watching her to notice. Pity, because it had given him a different view and might very well have meant this night could've been further ahead than it was now.

She took another sip. "What is it you want from me?" Her eyes looked him over, a definite hint of interest in hers.

Should he be blunt or should he take his time? Her gaze landed on his lips and he saw a hint of movement on hers that suggested she had only just stopped her tongue from wetting her own. His body reacted and his breath caught at the intensity of the reaction from that movement that wasn't even a movement. Who was she that she could make him as hard as he was without even a touch?

Her eyes lifted back to look at his, an expectant look in them that reminded him he'd yet to answer her.

Blunt. The night was slipping away and he had a feeling that one night wouldn't be enough, but one night was all he had to give. The sooner he put the ball into motion the better.

"You. Me. One night."

"So you want sex?"

He wasn't the only one to be blunt.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Why?" Callen repeated not quite sure what she was asking. He'd been distracted by the fact that she had just run her finger over her lips. He couldn't be sure if she was doing it deliberately to provoke a response in him or not. Either way it did.

"Why me?" she asked him and he heard the genuine interest, and a touch of confusion, in it and wondered how she could doubt a man's interest in her. "You've had multiple beautiful women show an interest in you already tonight," she added.

So, if he was reading her correctly, it wasn't so much a man's interest that she doubted but her attractiveness when compared to your typical LA model type bodies.

"They're not you." He had no other answer that he was willing to give her. After all telling her, or any woman for that matter, that you were ready enough to take her right there on the table if she was willing, was a bit of a risk. He took a breath and employed a couple of his more subtle techniques to regain control, or attempt to at least tone down the speed, of his body's reactions to her.

"You like what you see?"

"Yes." Callen smiled. "So do you."

She smiled and ran that same finger around the top of her glass. Callen swallowed and tried not to think about the possibilities. Once she said yes, then he'd give his mind free reign - and hopefully the reality and their bodies wouldn't be far behind.

"I do. But what about touch?" She leaned forward slightly. "Perhaps we should dance before we take this any further."

Callen stood and held out his hand. "Shall we?" He wasn't going to turn down an offer like that.

She placed her hand in his, the softness and warmth was just like he had expected, though it felt far better than he'd imagined. She slipped her handbag strap over her shoulder and let Callen led them to the small dimly lit dance floor before he brought her into his arms.

Callen's hand settled low on her back, not too low though. He was, after all, a gentleman, at least in this kind of encounter. He pulled her closer until their bodies brushed slightly as they moved. The heat from his hand and her body mingled through the smooth silk of her green dress. It wasn't a dance in terms of a dance but simply a way to touch in a public place. To see if there was more, enough to take this further, as she'd suggested. Not that he needed any proof. This was his time to convince her that she wanted him too. His thumb rubbed gently against her back where his hand rested and he felt the slightest shiver go through her.

Her hand rested on his shoulder as they swayed to the beat of the slow music gently filling the room. He shifted his head just enough so his question whispered over her ear.

"One night?" he asked and this time he felt a distinct tremble go through her and couldn't help the smile of satisfaction that came to his lips. Oh yes, she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. Between the shiver, tremble and the definite signs of arousal as her breasts brushed against his chest he had no doubt about that. Her eyes lifted to his and she smiled, that kick happening all the same though this time he was slightly more prepared for it.

"One night. No regrets," she confirmed and her fingers slid across the top of his shoulder to the back of his neck. They were warm and soft and left a trail of heat across his skin as they moved, even through his shirt.

"Of course there won't be," Callen said.

Her smile grew and she let out a soft chuckle. "Confident aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Any other conditions?"

"No names."

"No names?" The condition took her by surprise, he could see that in her eyes.

Callen nodded. He had a name now but he hadn't reconciled to it being his. Time, he guessed would take care of it though G seemed to suit him better. Or maybe it was just that he was used to it after all this time. Oddly he felt the temptation to use Grisha with her. Maybe if someone called him that, other than the father he had yet to really connect with, it might feel more like his own. He pushed that idea away. No names was better for them both.

"One night," Callen confirmed. "No regrets, no looking back."

"Anything else?" she asked.

"No. You?"

"Just one thing."

Her hand drifted from the back of his neck around and up to his cheek to gently stroke it. A flash of something blurred his vision of her for just a moment. A memory or something he wasn't sure. Nothing he could grab onto though. Her hand trailed down his neck, her fingers danced over his pulse and all thoughts of the memory were pushed away by the feel of her fingers touching his skin and trailing along the V of his shirt. The picture that now came to his mind had to do with her undoing the rest of the buttons and running her hands freely over his chest.

"Yes?" Callen prompted when she didn't say anything more.

"If you are looking for someone to screw and walk away from having satisfied your needs, look somewhere else."

She definitely knew how to be blunt and Callen felt a flash of satisfaction that he wasn't that type of man. He had no intention of behaving like that at all.

"If," she continued before he had a chance to say anything, "you are looking for a night of mutual satisfaction," a sexy smile spread across her lips and Callen felt an urge to capture it with his own that was so strong it caused his mouth to water, "and pleasure that you will walk away from in the morning thinking maybe two nights instead." She slipped her hand from him and stepped away, "then you need to make sure I don't walk out that door without you."

She moved and headed to the door, his eyes distracted with the sway of her hips before his brain kicked in. Another invitation he had no intention of turning down, or letting get away.

Callen was standing by the door holding it open for her before she was even there, grateful that he'd already paid his bill when he'd ordered. A habit so he could leave whenever he was ready or had to. The door closed behind them and she guided them off to the side.

"One more thing, just in case," she said, that voice low and soft again. His body didn't usually react to voices like this. He was looking forward to seeing where this night would lead. Satisfaction no doubt would be achieved, but the kind of satisfaction, now that was where the night could get very interesting.

"What?" Callen pulled his mind back from the potential night ahead to focus on what was right here in front of him.

"A kiss," she said. "If it's not good, we walk away, no hard feelings."

Callen raised his eyes at that comment. He saw a twinkle in her eyes that she got his meaning. Her arms slipped around his neck and her body came fully against his. She had no doubt felt the hardness of him against her body.

"One kiss and then maybe it starts," she whispered.

Callen slipped one hand into her hair to anchor her head, the other arm around her back and pulled her tighter against him. After a brief moment of staring into those pale green eyes, that somehow seemed more intense for their paleness than vibrant green ones would've, his mouth descended on hers and he kissed her. If this was his final chance to convince her to be with him for the night he wasn't taking any chances. He gave it everything he had. Warm lips meet, heated mouths opened and invited the other in, tongues duelled almost imitating what was to come later. Callen sensed her giving everything to it as well. Just as he suspected, this wasn't going to be an ordinary satisfying encounter. Satisfying it would be but with this kiss being a prelude to what was to come, the word felt small and ineffective as a description. The kiss was more; it wasn't just the mouths, somehow, though Callen couldn't tell how, it felt like their whole bodies were involved in the kiss.

She was the one to break it off, breathing heavily, her lips swollen, her cheeks pink and her eyes filled with passion.

"So it's starts," she whispered, stepped back and placed her hand in his.

* * *

Callen laid on the bed beside her watching her. It was five am and they'd barely slept, though she was sleeping now. The night had been more than he'd expected even knowing it wasn't going to be a typical encounter from beginning.

He always took his time to learn what pleased a woman when he took her to bed, would find out what they enjoyed and used it to his, and their, advantage for a most enjoyable and satisfying night.

But with her, whatever it was about her, had him taking that exploration even further. He'd explored every inch of her body; teased, tasted and touched with hands, lips, tongue and teeth. He'd noted every moan, halted breath, sigh, gasp and shift of her body, finding some surprisingly erotic spots that he took advantage of over the course of the night. However, much to his surprise, and before he'd brought her to her first climax of the night, she'd done the same to him.

It had been time well spent and led to a night filled with more passion than he'd experienced before, and he wasn't done. Even after everything they'd shared lying here watching her sleep, knowing their time together was almost over he wanted her again. He wanted to kiss her awake, bury himself inside her and hear her cries of pleasure as he took them both there again. And then there was still the shower. They'd explored the bath last night but one last time in the shower before he let her walk away would give him a complete set of memories of their time together, of the many different ways they'd taken each other over the edge, because she had been just as active as he in giving pleasure.

The thought of keeping her here for the day, to extend it to two nights flitted in his mind and he smiled. She'd warned him that would be the case. Maybe, if he was lucky she might agree. He shook that thought off and the disappointment that followed. That wasn't the agreement and he had to stick to it. It was safer for all. This was just physical and that was all it could be because anyone involved with him was at risk and she hadn't signed up for that kind of deal. There had to be an expiry on their time together. A definite end where the goalposts didn't change.

Callen shifted the sheet off her body and let his eyes wander over her, a satisfied smile on his face when he saw evidence of their night together - slight whisker burns here and there that he knew she had thoroughly enjoyed receiving; the distinct mark of a hickey on her lower neck that he'd enjoyed giving her. He was about to start trailing his fingers over her stomach and kiss her shoulder, when she started to twitch and a small sound of distress fell from her lips as her head rolled to one side on the pillow.

Callen frowned.

"..sha,," she murmured. "Unde ești?"

Callen's hand stilled.

"Unde ești Grisha?" Her words clearer this time.

Callen froze. She was saying his name.

"Papa, spune-mi unde Grisha?"

And speaking in Romanian. Asking where he was. But how? He'd never told her his name. His blood felt like it turned to ice and his heart rate kicked up a notch. Could she be after him?

She started to move on the bed, jerking and twisting. Callen saw the beads of sweat on her forehead. He noted the pulse pounding in her neck and the tears that were escaping from behind closed eyelids.

"Nu! Papa, unde este?" she cried out, desperation and fear in her tone.

"Sunt aici," Callen replied in Romanian. _I'm here._

"Grisha unde ești?" she sobbed, the sound so sad and heartbreaking.

The coldness inside him slipped away. This wasn't an act. She was scared and trapped in a nightmare.

"Chiar aici." Callen touched her hand gently. "Deschide-ti ochii." _Right here. Open your eyes_

"Unde ești?" she whimpered. Callen could hear how frightened she was, and even with his experience with nightmares he didn't know how to reach through and bring her out of this dark place she was trapped in. He placed his hand on her shoulder, hoping the connection would help. Her body stiffened and she screamed.

"Grisha, fugi!"

She sat up suddenly and her eyes flew open. Her breathing was harsh and nothing like after he'd kissed her last night. She turned to him and stared. Callen could see the terror in her eyes.

"It's okay." He reached out to her but she flinched away and flew off the bed. She grabbed her dress and pulled it on quickly.

"O greseala. A fost o greșeală," she murmured, her words still Romanian though Callen wasn't sure she realised. _A mistake. This was a mistake._

Callen stood up from the bed and reached for her arm, his touch gentle but firm. Her gaze flew to his hand and then to his face.

"Let me go," she said, returning to English.

"Who's Grisha?" Callen asked.

There was a flash of pain in her eyes that only briefly overrode the terror.

"No one." She pulled her arm from him and grabbed her bag.

"You were calling his name."

Her hand was already on the door handle. Callen moved quickly and put his hand on the door to keep it closed. She turned to him her mouth started to open, a demand he was sure about to fall from her lips.

"Cine eşti tu?" Callen returned to Romanian. _Who are you?_ She froze, the terror in her eyes doubled.

"No one," she repeated.

With more strength than Callen thought she had she yanked on the door handle and pushed him away before she ran out the now open door. He started to go after her but the cool air on his naked body reminded him he wasn't dressed. Callen cursed as he watched her turn at the end of the corridor, her bare feet moving so fast he wasn't sure if he'd have been able to catch her even if he had been dressed. He slammed the door shut and for the first time, wished he didn't have the no name rule because then he might at least have something to go on.

She knew his name. Maybe. She spoke Romanian and she was scared. And whoever her Grisha was, she was terrified for him.

This was the one time, the one woman that one night couldn't be the end of. A promise would have to be broken.

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from the woman's point of view. The plan is to alternate as much as possible between the two of them with a small amount of crossover so we get both points of view. It does mean we find out more about her before Callen! ;-)
> 
> I've written most of the Romanian in English this time so you will have a clearer picture if the last one was difficult to follow.
> 
> I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts. Thanks

* * *

 

" _No! Papa, where is he?" She spun around and everything blurred to black._

" _I'm here."_

_It was so dark. She couldn't see, not even the hint of a shape or the slight twinkle of a star. But that voice answering her was like a beacon of figurative light. She wasn't alone._

" _Grisha, where are you?" she sobbed as she fell to her knees._

" _Right here. Open your eyes."_

_It couldn't be him. The voice wasn't right. Not quite anyway. But he was answering her call and the voice was familiar. The darkness that seemed to swallow everything was scaring her and she wasn't entirely sure she had her eyes open._

" _Did you really think you could hide forever?"_

_She stumbled to her feet and turned to the new voice that suddenly came from behind her._

" _Where are you?" she whimpered, terrified._

" _We're right behind you." She spun around again. "We're coming for you. And your precious Grisha."_

_She felt a hand on her shoulder and screamed, "Grisha run!"_

The words tore at her throat and Felicity sat up. She could barely breathe yet her chest was heaving and her heart raced. No, this wasn't happening, not now, not after so long. Sensing she wasn't alone she turned and stared at man on the bed next to her. His eyes caught her attention, trapped her, just like the nightmare and her mind swirled with a mix of memories of last night and her nightmare. If only the memories could win but they were no match for the terror she now felt.

"It's okay." His voice was low, gentle; obviously an attempt to soothe her but it didn't. It reached into her mind and scared her even more but she wasn't sure why. When he reached out, she flinched and pulled away. No. She couldn't let him touch her. She had to leave. She should've known better than to come with him last night, she just hadn't been able to ignore the draw she felt toward him. She flew off the bed, quickly found her dress and pulled it on, not caring about her underwear. The dress covered enough.

"A mistake. This was a mistake," Felicity murmured and then mentally kicked herself when she realised she hadn't spoken English. She could only hope it was low enough that he couldn't pick it up clearly and ask any questions.

Her senses were a mess. Her awareness was focused on the turmoil in her mind, not so much her surroundings, so when his hand gently but firmly gripped her arm, her eyes flew to that spot. Shock shot through her. She lifted her gaze to his face and locked onto his eyes.

"Let me go," she said as she tried to pull her eyes from his. What was it about them that she'd found so hard to resist last night? Now? It wasn't like they were unusual. Beautiful, yes, but she'd always found blue eyes to be attractive. These ones though, there was something so much more to them. Her great grandmother had always said the eyes were the doorway to the soul; that with the right gifts, you could know someone in a moment, know who they truly were deep in their soul. She shared that gift though she had avoided practicing it of late. There was too much darkness in the world.

"Who's Grisha?" he asked.

The pain in her heart felt like a knife, not just slicing in but repeatedly stabbing. Oh yes, this was the other gift from her great grandmother; the ability to feel and remember things she had felt and seen in her life. Good and bad. She'd take the seeing into the soul any day over this one. If only she could give them back, at least one of them, because the combination when they happened together could be more than terrifying.

"No one." Felicity pulled her arm from him and instantly felt loss but couldn't understand why. She grabbed her small bag but there was no sign of her shoes.

"You were calling his name."

Felicity closed her eyes briefly against the memory of the nightmare, pushed the confusion away. She'd have time to think about the strange ending later. She moved and placed her hand on the door handle, so close to freedom, when suddenly he was there, his hand on the door blocking her escape. The warmth of his body so close to hers, brushing against her back and seeping into her, called to her like a homing beacon. She fought the urge to fall back into his arms, to hold him, have him hold her and cry. She'd had no one to hold her when she cried for so long. She swallowed the whimper that almost escaped from her lips and took a slow quiet breath and hoped that she managed to harden herself to his effect on her.

She turned, ready to order him to let her go. She wasn't a prisoner and she intended to remind him of their deal. The night was over, walk away, no looking back - though she knew she would. This was one night where looking back would be essential, to learn for next time. Because she'd make a mistake last night coming here with him. Oh, she had most definitely enjoyed herself on a sexual level. More than enjoyed herself. The give and take between the two of them had been breathtaking. The mistake was she'd felt something emotional as well as physical and, instead of turning away as her rules dictated, she'd stayed; the pull of him far too strong for her to resist. She'd need to learn to be stronger because that mistake now threatened to cause more pain than pleasure.

"Cine eşti tu?" he asked.

Felicity froze and the demand ready on her tongue disappeared. He'd spoken the words in Romanian. The pain increased. The terror from the nightmare felt like nothing as the possibilities slammed into her.

He spoke Romanian. He knew that name. He said she'd said it in her sleep but as far as she knew, no matter how bad the nightmares were, she'd never spoken in her sleep before. How could he possibly know that name, unless ….

"No one," Felicity answered not even thinking that by answering she was confirming her knowledge of the language. She was no one, at least she wanted to be no one. She had to go and she had to go now. With every ounce of strength she had she turned the handle and yanked the door open. She used the motion of her body to push him back, to gain space to leave. She ran, her bare feet soundless on the plush carpeted floor, grateful that her father had always instilled in her the skill to run; to be able to both sprint and have stamina for the long haul.

She turned at the end of the corridor and started down the stairs. That feeling of his eyes on her disappearing behind her as she did. But the night wasn't over. She had to get home, try and figure out what had gone wrong. Was she safe or did she need to run? Her feet barely touched the stairs and, before she flew out the door into the lobby of the hotel, she stopped. She breathed slowly and willed her heart rate to slow just a little. She would never make it through the lobby without being noticed if she ran and the last thing she needed was to make it easier for him to follow. The fact that she was barefoot would bring her more than enough attention. There were no footsteps on the stairs above so she took another moment to breathe and run her fingers through her hair to tidy it, her clips yet another thing left behind.

Slowly she opened the door and stepped into the lobby. A quick glance around told her he wasn't there and, mercifully, the lobby was almost deserted. She moved quickly to the front doors, stepped through them and straight into a waiting cab.

The cab dropped her off a few blocks from her small apartment and she made her way home, careful of her bare feet on the rough ground. She rested her head against the inside of her front door after she'd locked it, a variety of four locks a barrier to the outside world, and a small degree of safety swept over her.

"What have I done?" Felicity murmured to herself.

The man tonight, last night, had intrigued her from the start. She'd felt his eyes on her, had watched him watch her though he hadn't seemed to realise it. There was something about him that she couldn't place, something deep inside that had shifted, perhaps recognised him. Her gifts led her to see the past but occasionally the future flashed before her eyes, in a dream or a strong connection to a path she should take. But only ever hers. Others, she could see their pasts if she was tuned in enough and reached out to see. She preferred not to as it felt like an invasion of privacy and she wouldn't want anyone to see her past. There were times though when she didn't have control of what she saw, the visions would just happen, like last night when she'd touched the scars on his chest. She shook off that disturbing memory.

Maybe the connection was simply that she'd recognised her future, even if it was only a small step away. She had never meet her great grandmother but her father had made sure she knew the woman whose gifts she'd shared; had tried to pass on what he had learned from her - her great grandmother already knowing she would possess these gifts well before her arrival into the world - to help her understand, because that knowing woman had known they would never meet.

The nightmare crept back before her closed eyes and she opened them. She did not want to relive it again. But the ending, that she needed to understand.

Felicity turned away from the door. Without proper guidance or a teacher she'd had to resort to books to help her understand her gifts. Over the years she'd read quite a number of them, but there was only one she truly connected with for interpreting dreams. It had taken her some time to be able to buy it, not only expensive but hard to find, and it sat on the bookshelf with the small select number of others she trusted. She brushed away the tears and found it before she sat on a large soft cushion on the floor.

She had so many questions. Why? Why had she heard Grisha? Why did it feel like he was there? Grisha was dead. Why did she feel the absolute need to scream his name in warning? Who were the other voices in her nightmare, the ones who told her she couldn't hide forever and they were coming for her? For him? She knew who she suspected but given she'd never heard their voices how could she be sure.

The pain increased, her heart felt like it was being torn apart once again and the tears fell. She couldn't stop them and she pushed the book aside. It was too old to risk the tears destroying it. Deciphering the ending of the dream, trying to figure out what next would have to wait. She grabbed a pillow, wrapped her arms around it and buried her head, the closest she could get to being held, and sobbed for the little boy lost to her so long ago as the pain washed over her as fresh as it had been back then.


	3. Chapter 3

It was barely six am when Callen walked into the office. The dim overnight lighting gave off just enough to guide those entering. He headed up to ops as, without thinking, he'd come straight from the hotel and his laptop was still at home. He had no idea what he was going to do when he got there, start searching was a given. That was assuming he could actually get onto one of Eric or Nell's computers otherwise he'd have to go home to get his.

Except what did he have to search with?

Oh, he could describe her in detail after the night they had together, right down to the mole just under her right breast and the scattering of tiny freckles at the base of her spine that looked like a shooting star and it's trail. The softness of her skin, the way her eyes almost glowed as she crashed over that edge into bliss. He doubted those particular details would narrow down the search.

He had no name to work with. All he really had was height, hair and eye colour. They would help but in a city the size of Los Angeles it would barely scratch the surface let alone narrow things down to anywhere remotely resembling useful, and that didn't include those who were just visiting. What if she didn't live here?

The doors swished open before him and Callen stopped in his tracks. Nell was seated at her terminal, a mug steaming in her hands. He was pretty sure she'd been wearing those clothes when he'd left the previous day.

"Nell?"

She spun on her chair and almost dropped the mug. One hand went to her heart.

"Oh my gosh, Callen. What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Aren't they the same clothes from yesterday?"

"Yesterday but," Nell glanced at her watch. "Oh crap. It's morning. I didn't realise."

"You've been here all night?"

"Apparently," Nell murmured.

Now Callen felt guilty because when he'd walked in the door and spotted her he'd felt relief. If Nell was here he wouldn't be flying quite so blind. She'd help him figure out how to find her.

"So why are you here so early Callen?"

"I need your help to find someone."

"Okay." Nell turned back to her computer. "Name?"

"Don't have one." Callen moved next to her and sat in what was usually Eric's seat, the smell of coffee drifted over to him. Nell glanced at him.

"What do you have?" she asked.

"Dark blonde, long hair, couple of inches shorter than me. Green eyes."

"Not really helping," Nell said. "Address? Last known location?"

Callen gave Nell the address of the hotel.

"Leaving just after five am this morning," he added. "Green silk dress, barefoot." He had her shoes, clips and underwear safely tucked in a bag in his car but he wasn't about to tell Nell that.

Nell looked at him curiously. "How do you know that she was barefoot?"

Callen cocked an eyebrow. Nell's eyes went a little wider. "Nell, do me a favour. Don't ask how I satisfy personal needs and I won't ask you either."

Nell blushed. "Deal." She turned back to the screen, the click of the keys the only thing to break the silence of the early morning. "I'll see if I can get some camera footage from the street before I try and get into the hotel cameras."

Callen watched Nell yawn. He should send her home. Leave this for another time, but they were alone and he needed this done before Hetty showed up. Hetty would attempt to have his hide if he was using Nell for something personal. He wasn't sure if a woman saying his name was enough to justify this use of government resources in Hetty's mind. On that note, he had to wonder what was going through Nell's mind since she hadn't paused to query if this was allowed given he'd pretty much admitted it was personal. He wouldn't bring it up but he would make sure Nell didn't get in trouble for it.

"Is this her?" Nell asked a few minutes later pulling him from his thoughts of the previous night. It was from the ATM across the street and only just a brief few seconds of her before she entered a cab. They were lucky as the angle gave them a clear view of her face, though not exactly decent footage considering the distance and quality of the camera.

"That's her." Callen smiled. Nell was a miracle worker but that didn't surprise him. "Can you clear it up enough to run through facial?"

"A little but I doubt it's going to be enough to get only one hit. We'll probably end up with a big list."

Still would be smaller than just searching what he knew.

"Where did she go in the cab?"

"I'll work on that too." Nell yawned again and the guilt intensified.

"Guess that coffee didn't help. You should go home Nell, get some sleep."

"I'm okay," she protested.

"Mr Callen is right, Miss Jones." They both spun around on their chairs to face Hetty. A Hetty who was standing close behind them, neither having heard the swish of the doors opening or closing.

"Hetty!" Nell exclaimed. She glanced at Callen, a helpless look on her face.

Hetty spoke before Callen could. "I suggest you go and get some sleep Miss Jones before you fall asleep in your coffee." There was a gentle reprimand in Hetty's voice about having drinks in ops, though Callen suspected that there would be no repercussions. While he hadn't actually found out why Nell was still here, it was most likely something clandestine for Hetty.

Nell looked at Callen, her expression torn between the two requests. He gave an almost imperceptible nod.

"Can I just-" Nell started.

Hetty shook her head.

"I'm going," Nell agreed reluctantly and slipped off her chair and out of ops.

"Mr Callen."

"Yes Hetty." If there was a tone of voice that sounded innocent but was anything but, he'd just pulled it off.

"Care to explain to me why you are in the office so early?"

Callen's lips twitched. "Not particularly."

"Let me rephrase. Tell me what you were having Miss Jones do."

"She's just helping me with something."

"What?"

"It's …." Personal was not a good answer.

"Something to do with a mysterious blonde haired woman?"

Callen frowned. How on earth did Hetty know that? Or had she been in ops listening for much longer than he thought? Hetty motioned to the screen and Callen turned to see that the search Nell had started to run was already bringing up results. Nell came hurrying back through the door at that point.

"I'm sorry I forg-"

"To close down a search Miss Jones?"

Nell gave Callen an apologetic look. "More to hide it," she admitted.

"Well since you have returned, perhaps you could fill Mr Callen and myself in on what has just 'popped' up."

Callen turned his attention back to the screen and the forthcoming results. Blonde, green eyed women were slowly filling the screen as the search made it way through records Nell had access to. Callen moved and stood in front of them, so many so similar to her. With each pair of eyes that he didn't recognise he swiped it from the board. Her eyes were impossible to forget. His hand had lifted to swipe the next one off almost automatically, which was to be expected considering how many he'd just been able to do exactly that with, but his hand froze mid-air. He stared into the pale green eyes of the woman he had just spent the better part of the last ten hours memorising.

"Is that her?" Nell asked as she came to stand next to him, a very under her breath "Sorry," slipped from her lips.

"That's her."

"And who would she be?" Hetty asked.

"According to this her name is Felicity Williams," Nell replied. "Give me a minute." She went back to her seat and tapped away on her keyboard as Callen stared at the woman on the screen. There was a slightly haunted look in her eyes that he hadn't noticed last night.

"When did you meet?" Hetty asked.

"Last night, we …" Callen trailed off. Telling Hetty about his sex life was a conversation he wasn't sure he would ever be ready to have.

"Ah," Hetty mused. "Physical needs must be meet."

"Hetty it wasn't -" Callen sighed in resignation. "Fine it was like that."

"Do I take it things went well?

"Hetty please don't," Callen pleaded. Why wasn't Hetty questioning him on inappropriate use of government resources? He could handle that.

"You are looking for her. That says it was more than a normal night."

Callen spun around. She couldn't possibly know about ... Ah hell, it was Hetty. Of course she could.

"It's not that." There was no way he would actually tell Hetty how last had gone. 'Went well' was such an understatement. At least until the morning wake up.

"Then please, fill me in on why she is so important to find. If it was just about-"

"Hetty!" It was one thing for him and the woman, this Felicity, to be blunt about it but he didn't want it from Hetty.

Hetty's lips twitched but she did at least stop her line of questioning. "What do you have Miss Jones?"

"Felicity Mary Williams. Born 15th July 1971 in New York." There was a slight pause and some key tapping before Nell continued. "Father, Daniel Williams died two years ago. Mother, Ellen Williams died during childbirth. No siblings. Married to a Jonathon Rigby in Seattle 1996. One child, Gregory. Died at the age of seven," Nell's tone held a hint of sadness to it. "Hit and run. Driver and vehicle never identified. They divorced six months later."

More key taps.

"According to passport records she's never traveled outside of the continental US."

"Where is she now?"

"Working on it." Nell said.

"Mr Callen, why is she so important?"

Callen turned away from Nell. Looking over her shoulder wasn't going to make her searches go faster.

"She knows my name."

Hetty looked up at him over the top of her glasses. "Your name?"

"Grisha," he confirmed. "I didn't give her a name."

"Anonymity." Hetty nodded. "A wise choice I guess."

"Except when you are actually want to find them," Nell remarked only slightly sarcastically.

"How does she know your name?"

"I don't know. She was sleeping. She had a nightmare," Callen told them, "and screamed my name. Before that it sounded like she was looking for me."

"You or someone who shares your name," Hetty suggested.

"That is what I want to find out." Yes it could be someone else, but Callen wasn't big on coincidences, especially when it came to himself or the safety of those he cared about. Though not always the case, coincidences more often than not in his experience, tended to have the feel of the universe trying to tell you something important, if you just looked and listened hard enough. Though he wouldn't describe it like that to anyone else. Gut instinct was a good enough descriptor in his profession. That they used often.

"You think it was you?" Hetty asked him.

Callen shrugged. "I don't know but she wasn't speaking English at the time."

Hetty frowned. "What was she speaking?"

"Romanian. And she was scared, Hetty. More than that. She was terrified. Terror, fear and pain after I asked her who Grisha was." Pain so strong he couldn't even comprehend what had happened to cause it to override the terror that was already there in her eyes.

"You didn't tell her you shared that name?"

Callen shook his head. "No. She fled when I asked her who she was ... in Romanian. It seemed to scare her even more." He'd thought at the time it might establish a connection with her but he'd been wrong.

Hetty looked over the information on the screen. "Could Grisha have been her son? It is a form of Gregory."

"Maybe." It was a logical conclusion now they knew this information, but his instincts didn't agree.

"I can't find any connection to you Callen, not yet," Nell informed him. "I will keep looking though."

"Her Romanian was too good, Hetty. She had no detectable American accent to it."

"She was dreaming Mr Callen. Perhaps -"

"Not all the time." Callen turned to Nell. "Do you have an address yet?" He smiled to soften the abrupt demand that had slipped out with the words. Nell acknowledged it with a forgiving one of her own.

"Nothing current. There's an address in San Diego from when her father was alive but after that she's pretty much disappeared. With one exception. A bank account which she accesses every few months and withdraws five thousand dollars from."

"Dig deeper please Nell. Something's not right."

* * *

_Later that day._

"Callen."

Callen looked up and watched as Nell approached his desk.

"Did you find her?"

Nell shook her head. "I've tried everything I can think of at the moment. I've tried tax records. Tax is taken out of her earnings on the bank account but she's not earning enough to have to file from it and surprisingly isn't filing to claim it back."

"She's not withdrawing enough to live in LA without working." Just over fifteen hundred dollars a month in Los Angeles was nowhere near enough to live comfortably and safely. And he had no doubt that she'd want to live somewhere safe and probably on her own. What they knew so far suggested she was hiding.

"I know," Nell agreed. "She's probably doing cash work."

"Medical coverage?"

"I've checked but there's nothing for her."

"Could she still be going by her married name?"

Nell sat on the edge of his desk and shook her head. "I tried that too. I've got an number for her ex-husband if you want to try calling and seeing if he knows where she is."

Callen gave her a rueful smile. "That's sure to go over well. I'm sorry do you know where your ex-wife is. I had," he paused briefly, only mentaling saying the word incredible, "sex with her last night then she ran screaming from the room. I want to find her again to make sure she's okay." And maybe repeat it all over again if she's willing. The thoughts rushed through his head before he could stop them.

Nell blushed, her gaze dropped from his. "Sorry. I know it was a long shot."

Callen felt a little guilty that he'd been so blunt just now. After all, he had an agreement with Nell about not discussing this kind of thing, one he had instigated.

"If she's hiding," he moved the conversation to a safer topic, "then I highly doubt she'd be in contact with him. It was over long ago." Callen thought for a moment. "The bank. Wouldn't they have an address on file?"

"Checked that one out too," Nell lifted her head and looked back at him, an apology on her face. "The address they have isn't even a valid one. How she got the bank to accept it I don't know. From what I can tell her statements go to a email address and the listed phone number is no longer working."

"The cab?"

"She was dropped off and walked. Lost her from the cameras but," Nell sighed and Callen heard the frustration in her voice as she continued. "Even though it's narrowed the vicinity of where she was going, it's not helped. I've set things up to keep facial running on the cameras in the area but it's going to take time." Nell shrugged. "We might not even get a hit. There's too many ways in and out that aren't covered by cameras."

Callen dropped his head back against the back of his seat and looked at the ceiling. He'd known it wouldn't be easy but he hadn't thought it would be this hard. "Any other ideas?"

"I'm still working on it. But I wouldn't hold out hope of finding her. It seems like she doesn't want to be found."

"Isn't that what we do Nell?" Callen brought his gaze back to her from the roof. "Find those who don't want to be found."

"We do," Nell agreed. "There are a couple of odd things. They don't help with finding her though. Felicity and Daniel Williams. I can't find anything on them before she was five. There are 'official' records but nothing you would expect to find on someone who was living a normal life."

"It was a long time ago, maybe the records haven't caught up to the digital age."

Nell shrugged. "Maybe. It's just we've seen too much of those not wanting to be found. And this reeks of it."

"Why wouldn't she want to be found though?" Callen asked. "Everything points to her being a normal everyday citizen."

"Normal not so much. Normal doesn't live with her father her entire life. He lived with her and her husband too when they were married." Callen's eyebrows lifted at that tidbit. "or disappear so thoroughly. And she speaks Romanian," Nell finished. Admittedly those things were odd when it came to comparing to an ordinary citizen.

"Fluently," Callen confirmed. "And is terrified of something connected to my name."

"If," Nell stressed the word, "it is your name. Maybe it was just her son's name. Maybe she was dreaming about when he died, telling him to run so the car didn't hit him."

"Maybe." Callen smiled his thanks. He noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the tired look to them and realised that although Hetty had sent Nell home, she'd never actually made it. "Go home Nell. You've been here all day, all night and the day before." Callen stood up. "In fact I'll take you home." Make sure she actually got there this time. "I'm done for the day. Go get your things."

* * *

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've been over the first part of this one heaps and I don't think it's going to get any better. I've rewatched Callen and one of our favourite guest stars and hope like crazy I've managed to get the delightful annoying Arkady right. Trying to figure out how he speaks was interesting. I thought I had it then I watched and realised there are so many places where he drops words out!
> 
> Hope you enjoy and love to hear your thoughts when you're done.

* * *

 

"Well, well, well my friend. What brings you to my door? Knocking even?" Arkady motioned to his guards to let Callen through the large front door.

Callen had been in the middle of the pizza he'd picked up after dropping Nell home and just started his first bottle of beer when he'd thought of the possibility that Arkady might be able to help with the mystery of Felicity.

"Need a favour." Callen he walked passed Arkady before he turned to face the man who was friend or foe depending on the day.

"This time of night," Arkady smiled, "must be woman trouble."

Callen pulled out his phone, found the photo Nell had sent to him and, ignoring Arkady's comment and expression on his face, held the phone up. It was technically true but not in the way Callen was sure the man meant. "Do you know her?"

"What? Straight to business? No small talk? I'm disappointed." The man spoke with his hands just as much as his voice and Callen's phone narrowly missed being knocked out of his own.

"Arkady - the girl?"

Arkady glanced at Callen's phone briefly. "Pretty girl. She dump you?"

"Not exactly."

"One that got away?"

"Just answer the damn question."

Arkady's eyebrows rose. "She means something to you." Arkady took the phone out of Callen's hand and looked again. "Come. We eat while we talk."

Why did it seem like almost every time he'd crossed paths with Arkady lately the man was eating. "No thanks."

"I eat then." Arkady sat and gestured to Callen to do the same. "So, what she do to you?"

"Said my name."

"That is a bad thing?"

"My name. Grisha."

"Still not following."

As much as Arkady liked to play the innocent 'I know nothing' card, Callen knew the man had a sharp and intelligent mind. He just didn't want anyone to know about it. It gave him the opportunity to catch people off guard. He might not be following Callen's limited comments but no doubt the wheels were turning quite fast inside Arkady's head.

"I didn't tell her my name," Callen admitted.

"Ah." Arkady nodded. "Now you worry she after you for more than your body."

Callen rolled his eyes.

"You could do worse," Arkady said after he swallowed the food in his mouth.

"That is not the point."

"Do you or do you not find her attractive? Because if you do not…"

"Back off." Callen felt unexpected surge of protectiveness. He refused to label it jealousy though in anyone else he'd probably say it was exactly that. "She's young enough to be your daughter." Arkady had a roving eye for pretty girls and a trail of ex-wives.

Arkady shrugged. "Age not so important." Callen glared and Arkady chuckled. "You do find her attractive. You not take her to bed if you didn't."

How on earth had Arkady jumped to that, rather accurate, conclusion. "Who says I did?"

"Your reaction," Arkady stated simply as it if were obvious to anyone.

Callen pulled the conversation back to where he wanted it to be. "Do you know her or not?"

"Can't say I do. Why would you think so?"

"We think she may have come over from Romania as a child. Maybe you've come across her here or back then from when she left."

Arkady had his finger in so many pies - some Callen knew and some he was sure he didn't. It wouldn't surprise him if some of those 'business' interests had to do with people wanting to hide.

Arkady shook his head. "Definitely can't say then. Children they all look the same when they leave or arrive. Grubby, rags, look of fear. Tend not to look at them so much. Why you think this?"

Arkady only ever gave Callen small glimpses of his past, keeping things close to his chest. This was another small tidbit to add to the collection.

"We can't find records from them that indicate her and her father were living here from before she was five though she was supposedly born in New York."

"How old she?"

"Forty five."

Arkady looked dubious. "Looks much younger."

"Agreed."

"You have hard time find someone like that."

"I know."

"What you want me to do?"

Callen appreciated the fact that the man actually sounded like he wanted to help.

"Do you have any contacts who might've been working the arrivals in New York back then? Or who might've sent them here from over there? Any who would've had the skills to set up a new life for them?"

Arkady sat back in his chair and studied Callen. "Why you think she come from Romania?" Arkady paused slightly but not long enough for Callen to start answering. "Why you think she's connected to you?"

Typical Arkady, questions instead of answers until he knew what he wanted to know. And of course, the wheels had turned and come to the conclusion that Callen thought she was connected to his past.

"She was speaking Romanian when she cried out my name in her sleep."

Arkady's eyebrow rose. "You let her sleep next to you? Thought you kicked them out first."

"What the hell Arkady?" Callen snapped at the man. "You have no idea how I'd treat a woman."

Arkady stared back at him, not flinching at his hostile tone. "Would hope hell of a lot better than not giving them name to call you."

"It's better this way. Or at least it was."

"Until you need one."

"Can you help or not?" Callen was just about out of patience with the infuriating man.

"I make a few calls but don't, what you say, hold your breath. Those who would've been working then, mostly gone. I may not even know anyone who knew anyone. I will try … for you."

No doubt at some point Arkady would also call in a favour from this request. Callen stood up and reached for his phone. Arkady held it until their eyes connected.

"Why you want to find her so much?" Arkady asked.

There were times when Callen wondered just what it was Arkady saw when he looked at people like that. Between that look and his reputation it's no wonder he was effective at interrogation.

"She might have answers about my past," Callen admitted. There was a moment of silence before Callen asked the question he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to. "Do you think my father might know of her or her father? Are you in contact with him?"

Arkady studied him before he answered. "If age is right and was 76 when they come, he may not be able to help. If, that is, I could contact him. I did not hear the name Konstantine Chernoff until end of 76."

"Can you contact him?"

Arkady held out a plate of food. "You sure you don't want some?"

Callen let out a sigh and resigned himself to not getting any answers out of Arkady about the possible whereabouts of his father. He was still waiting for the promised explanation and had no idea when, or if, they would ever come. He was grateful for Arkady's willingness to help regarding Felicity so he didn't push.

"You'll call me?"

Arkady nodded.

"She a lucky woman," Arkady called out to Callen's retreating back.

"I doubt it," Callen replied without turning around, knowing he was answering a very different version of Arkady's comment. "Not with that terror in her eyes," he added softly to himself.

* * *

Callen's lips trailed down the soft skin of her neck. She tilted her head to the other side, opening it up more for him. The sound of her moan reached his ears and he felt the gentle vibration of it under his lips. He smiled against her skin as he moved lower; the dip of her collar bone, the swell of her breast. His tongue drew a line toward her nipple circled around it before his lips closed around it and he sucked. She hissed and pushed up into him.

"Grisha," she whispered. "Please."

Callen's hand traced her ribs, her skin warm under his touch, then lower down her side to her hip. He shifted his attention to the other breast, kissed the mole just under it before he moved up again. Her body writhed beneath his, like she was searching for his touch where she seemed to most want it. Her hands tugged on his shoulders, ineffectively because he had plans and knew exactly how he intended to play her body to an exquisite shattering climax. His hand left her hip and moved inward, his fingers slid to her centre and found her wet and ready. Her hips lifted from the bed, pushed against his hand and a whimper escaped passed, begging without words. He smiled again.

Oh he wasn't done yet. Before their bodies joined he intended to have her so close to the edge that just a thrust or two would be enough to send her, and subsequently him, right over that cliff together because he knew that the feel of her warmth and tightness around him would be almost all he could take by then. His mouth covered her nipple, his teeth biting down gently at the same time he slid a finger inside her. She gasped and his name fell from her lips yet again, this time breathless, needy and full of passion. How he loved hearing it from her. His name. Grisha not G. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders and he felt her body start to tighten around his finger. She was closer than he thought. He moved then, shifted so he was on top cradled in the V of her hips, her heat right there waiting, and eager, to take him in. He stared into those pale green eyes and smiled. She was so beautiful, her eyes so full of….terror.

"GRISHA, FUJI!"

Callen sat up, his eyes flew open and his heart pounded in his chest. He was alone but her words still rang in his ears. Just like the other morning.

His heart continued to race and he tried to even out his ragged breathing. He wasn't entirely sure if it was from the words she'd screamed or the rest of the dream. He preferred to think it was from what came before. It was a much more pleasant scenario though the exceptional vivid dream was fast fading - except for her scream. The memory of that was going nowhere. He ran his hands through his short hair and rubbed his face.

Nell was wrong.

His gut told him that. There was no way that scream had anything to do with her son dying. This was a scream of terror, not pain. Terror for something coming, not something already gone.

Nell had sent him a copy of the police report from the hit and run. According to that, her son had run onto the road, slipping from his grandfather's hold, when he'd noticed a small injured animal lying in the middle of street. Before the grandfather could call him back, a car had approached - fast. Felicity's father had rushed out to try and get the boy out of the way but had been hit by the car as well. Her father had suffered a broken leg, severe bruising and scratches plus a minor concussion. Her son was not so lucky. The impact had sent him flying through the air and his neck had been broken when he landed head first on the ground. The report said death would've been instant. With all of that information he figured Nell's theory didn't hold up. Because if it was what happened in her dream, it wouldn't just be her son she would cry out for. She had to be very close to her father to have spent her life living with him.

Callen rose from his bed, headed to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water.

He had to find her. Somehow. Something in him was still drawn to her. Not just physically. His dream certainly refreshed his mind on that side of the draw of her. But he felt it was much more than that. Perhaps it was his protective nature. He was sure anyone would find it hard not to want to protect someone who had screamed with that much terror in their voice. He had no doubt that curiosity and a need to know who her Grisha was (if it was him), played a part in wanting to find her but there was also something he couldn't quite define.

How would he find her?

Nell was still looking but they didn't have much to go on. He slipped out onto his back deck, sat down on one of the loungers there and stared up at the stars as he thought.

She seemed like she didn't want to be found.

She had to live somewhere.

She'd need money to live. The amount she was drawing from the bank wasn't really enough to live in LA. She had to be working.

What could possibly scare her so much? There was a part of him that wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to that particular question.

What would she do? How would she survive?

What would he do?

He'd want a way to know things. He'd want to be able to have some warning if someone was looking for him or the people he knew were looking for him were nearby.

Her Romanian, what little Callen had heard of it, seemed authentic; the accent real. Which meant she had to be speaking it fairly regularly or he would've been able to detect her American accent hiding behind it.

If, as Callen suspected, she wasn't American born maybe whatever she was afraid of came before. Maybe she was spending time in places where she would come across Romanians, where she could speak it and keep an ear to the ground for whoever she thought might be after her. She might also work in those places so it didn't look odd for her to be there so often.

It's what he would do.

Callen headed back inside and pulled out his laptop. Within half an hour he had six strong possibilities. He'd start with the ones close to where she lived first. Since Nell hadn't been able to find a driver's license or vehicle registration, he'd take a chance that she would likely want to stay close to home and walk.

It was a start at least, to help him feel like he was doing something to find her rather than wait for one of Nell's searches to get results.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: All conversation in the restaurant is in Romanian but for ease of reading it's written in English.

* * *

Three cases consumed the next week and a half. Callen only managed to visit two of the restaurants on his list. Nell was monitoring three others through surveillance cameras she had access to.  Callen wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or not that Nell didn’t get any hits from it. At least by not getting anything, he wasn’t faced with a difficult choice. Either option would be wrong in some way - case vs personal.

He’d decided that it would be best to err on the side of caution/paranoia, with his search for Felicity.  __ With what Nell had discovered, or more to the point not discovered, he didn’t want to do anything to risk her fleeing again. This was where it all got difficult and, most likely a miracle was needed to help find her. There was only so many times he could visit a restaurant without arousing suspicion - and a lot more times she could be working. Investigating those three places was going to take time and he didn’t want to resort to flashing around her photo and asking if anyone had seen her, at least not yet.  He knew that if he was in her place, or what he suspected was her place, anyone asking questions about him would be a massive red flag and he’d be out of there fast.

If this wasn’t successful Plan C was to be at the bank when she was due to make the next withdrawal. Her visits were like clockwork over the last two years, which was odd. However, Nell had suggested that perhaps it wasn’t so much a case of needing the money but another reason for the timing, that she’d yet to figure out. Given that the address connected to her account wasn’t a valid one, Nell’s idea was plausible. However that next scheduled visit wasn’t for another four weeks.

It was a busy Friday night when Callen was free enough to head back out. Rather than go to a new location, he found himself drawn back to the first one. There was something about it that gave him hope. This wasn’t a place you went to to try something new. This was somewhere that gave a touch of home; cuisine based on traditional Romanian foods and heavy use of the Romanian language by all, customers and staff alike. The night he’d been there he hadn’t heard a word of English spoken. This was somewhere you might hear things from home. 

He’d promised the host upon leaving that first time he would be back so when he walked through the doors he’d been greeted with a smile of recognition. Now, seated at an out of the way table that gave him an excellent view of the kitchen door, he was able to watch for her unobserved. He hoped, given that Friday’s were generally known as one of the busiest nights in the trade, there was more of a chance that she would be working. He’d assured both the host and waiter who had taken his order that he was in no rush and would simply enjoy the atmosphere and immerse himself in the language he rarely gets to hear anymore. This gave him a legitimate reason to linger and them no reason to rush to get him his meals.

It also gave him time to think. What would he say when he found her? He had no doubt she would recognise him. What would her reaction be when she did? That concerned him. What Nell had discovered about her made this a potentially sensitive and volatile situation. The terror she obviously felt came from somewhere and he was connected to it somehow. How did he assure her who he was, that she was safe, without pulling out his NCIS ID? He recently had his real name put on it and he didn’t think that seeing his name was Grisha would help at all.

Callen was working his way through a complimentary plate of bread, with dipping salt and mustard, having had his entree already, when his miracle happened and he saw Felicity come out of the kitchen door. He settled back into his seat which put his face further into the shadows and watched her. Her body, that after just their one night together he knew so well, moved smoothly and capably around the tables, smiling and taking care of the customers she was intent on keeping happy. The smile, though never directed at him, did something to him. It wasn’t like the other night, the one that had almost sent him from his chair. This one was almost familiar, yet it wasn’t a smile that had graced their night together. Those were totally different. When another waitress delivered his main meal, he knew she wouldn’t accidentally come across him. He’d have to go to her. Callen struggled with how to connect with her. He couldn’t simply go up to her and ask to talk. Perhaps he’d need to ask the host about her but then that in itself could come across suspicious. 

There was a moment that lent itself to connecting but his aid wasn’t needed. Felicity had been in the process of delivering a tray of drinks when someone had bumped into her. One of the many drinks on the tray fell and landed in a customer’s lap. The customer was furious and no amount of explanation, apology or even the person responsible stepping forward seemed to ease the situation. 

When the infuriated customer shifted menacingly closer to Felicity Callen saw a distinct look of fear on her face and he had pushed his chair back. He was out of his seat and one step from his table when the host Marko, an elderly gentleman Callen had the suspicion was the owner, had intervened. 

Callen retreated and watched. Marko, Callen was sure he was the boss now, after sending the customer from the premises, turned to Felicity and put his hands on her shoulders. Callen watched as relief settled on her face, the fear mostly dissipated, and her body started to relax. Whatever Marko said was obviously reassuring. With a nod, she headed back out through the kitchen door and he started to make his way around the tables apologising and making sure everything was satisfactory with the meals. 

Marko eventually arrived at Callen’s table.

“Sir, I apologise for the display. I hope it has not ruined your evening.” His accent strong and his Romanian fluent and natural.

“Not at all,” Callen made sure to keep his Romanian and accent just as he had on his previous visit. “She did nothing wrong and it was pleasing to see you stand up for your employees. She must appreciate it.”

Marko smiled. “Ah, if only she was an employee. She is a wonderful worker but alas I can’t get more than three nights from her. She volunteers in exchange for a meal and the chance to improve her Romanian.”

“Improve? I thought she was a native.” An inventive way to get into a place with no record of her working here.

Marko shook his head. “She’s a foreign language student and likes to immerse herself in the language she is learning. When she first came to me almost a year ago with her proposition I was a little dubious, but her grasp of the language was good. It had a very distinct American accent to begin with. She’s improved immensely.”

Improved or just let the natural accent show little by little?

“I’m sure thanks to your generosity. Is she okay?” Callen made sure the concern in his voice wasn’t too much.

“She’s a little shaken but she’ll be fine. She knows she is safe here.”

Callen felt a twinge of guilt. If Felicity saw him there was strong chance she probably wouldn’t feel safe anymore but he really needed to talk to her. He saw his opening.

“I have a favour.” Callen leaned forward on the table and held his gaze steady on Marko. “I would like to talk with her but this doesn’t seem to be her area.”

A strong hint of wariness came into Marko’s eyes and his body seemed to stiffen and straighten.

“No, No. Nothing like that,” Callen denied quickly. This was what he’d been concerned about. It didn’t matter how he approached this or her, it had the potential to come across wrong. “It’s just that she speaks our language so well,” Callen continued. “And has a lovely voice and…” Where did he take this? His gaze fell on Marko’s wedding ring. His mind grabbed an idea and ran with it. “My wife, she died six months ago. I miss simply talking to someone else in our native tongue.” He hoped he’d put enough emotion into his voice to convince Marko.

“Have you been here long?”

“Over ten years in America,” Callen replied, grateful he’d kept the strong accent that would confirm his words. It technically wasn’t a lie. Though the next part was. “Just a few months here in Los Angeles.”

Marko nodded. “Over thirty and I still miss it. One of the reasons for opening this restaurant. Home will always be Romania, even though there is nothing wrong here.”

Callen nodded at least able to agree to the last part. What Romania was like as home was something he couldn’t weigh in on. “Do you think she would agree?” Callen asked. “Perhaps she could take a break, have her meal with me.”

“I’ll ask.”

Callen shifted a tad impatiently in his seat, though he kept those movements well hidden. Marko seemed to take forever to return. He kept his eye on the kitchen door but Felicity hadn’t returned to serve anyone else yet. 

Felicity.

The name didn’t really fit. It felt too harsh for the soft spoken woman he’d spent the night with. Though, her personality did fit with the meaning of the name; until she had woken up she was happy.

Callen straightened when he saw Marko come out of the kitchen door, a plate in his hand. Felicity followed and Callen watched her closely. Marko spoke quietly to her as they headed his way and she seemed happy enough. There was a slightly wary look in her pale green eyes as they flitted around the restaurant searchingly but there was a smile on her lips. Callen felt one start to unexpectedly form in response but controlled it to be appropriate for the situation.

Marko placed her plate on his table and pulled out her chair. Felicity sat, though she had yet to look at him.

“Marie, this is Andre.”

Marie?

Felicity looked up at him then. “Hello -” the word trailed off and her eyes went wide in recognition and proceeded to flood with fear.

Marko kept speaking, this time oblivious to her struggle.

“Enjoy your dinner Marie. Take your time.” With a little pat on her shoulder Marko walked away.

“Thank you for joining me.” Callen continued in Romanian. Changing to English now would more than likely bring attention to the two of them considering the lack of its use here.  He didn’t want that. He needed her to feel safe and if everyone was watching them that would not happen.

“I didn’t know it was you.” 

Callen saw that the colour in her cheeks had gone and her chest rose and fell fast, her breathing already erratic. Such an instant and intense reaction didn’t bode well if he couldn’t convince her to trust him.

“I’m sorry,” Callen said gently. “I just want a chance to talk.”

“You lied.” Her voice breathless, and definitely scared. It got slightly stronger with her next words, a brave front at least. “You said one night. No looking back.”

“What happened?” Callen asked her. “Why did you run?”

“Did you lie to Marko about your wife?” she asked instead of answering.

Her pupils were dilated, barely a hint of green surrounded them, her breathing still hadn’t settled. Callen hoped answering that question with the truth would ease her mind about him.  “Yes. I’ve never had a wife.” He waited a few moments and let his words sink in. He saw a flicker of something in her eyes; a slight reduction in the fear in them. She took a slow steadying breath and Callen felt a sense of relief that they might’ve turned the corner, that she just might trust him enough to listen and talk. “Please,” Callen added, “just give me a chance Felicity.”

Her hand came up to her mouth, terror filled her eyes. She pushed her chair out and fled to the back of the restaurant and through the kitchen doors.

Callen stood and let out a quiet yet frustrated sound. Marko had witnessed her fleeing and after giving him a look that didn’t bode well, followed Felicity.

Callen sat, not entirely sure what to do or what had caused her to flee. If he left the restaurant now, he’d stand no chance of getting back in. Depending on what she told Marko would depend on how Callen would react. If she was indeed hiding from someone Marko may not necessarily be aware of it, which meant she probably wouldn’t tell him what had really happened.  He needed to stay and see how this played out.

He pushed the remainder of his meal aside, his appetite gone just as quickly as she had fled and waited. Marko eventually exited the kitchen and headed straight for his table. Callen tensed. No Felicity.

“I’m sorry Andre.” Marko frowned. “Marie is not feeling well.”

That was when it hit him. He knew why she had fled. 

Felicity.

She’d been introduced to him as Marie and he’d called her Felicity. A name he shouldn’t know. Such a stupid mistake on his part, his need to reassure her making him not think quite so clearly. Which in turn made him wonder yet again what it was about her because a slip up like that wasn’t normal and certainly wasn’t acceptable in his line of work. Her fear had reached deep inside him and he’d reacted to it without thought. 

“She didn’t tell me she had been feeling ill all day,” Marko continued. “My son is taking her home as we speak. I’m hoping it isn’t anything too serious. She asked me to apologise to you for running off like that but…” Marko gave a shrug. “She is a stubborn woman coming in when she wasn’t feeling well.”

“She obviously cares about you and didn’t want to let you down.” And now he was back to square one and no idea how to find her from here. Unless the Marie information led somewhere, or the bank came through, Callen had the distinct feeling that he’d seen the last of her.

Marko shrugged. “Sometimes I wonder….”

“Wonder what?” That gut instinct of his kicked up a notch. Marko may not know what was going on with Felicity, or Marie, but he suspected all was not as it seemed.

“Never mind. Not my place to wonder. Would you like dessert?” Marko glanced at the meal that wasn’t fully finished.

“I was hoping to try your Papanasi but I’m afraid your meals are delicious and filling. Perhaps next time I’ll skip the entree.”

“We always have them. My wife’s specialty.”

Callen stood up and smiled. “Thank you for another delightful meal. I do hope that Marie is feeling better soon. Perhaps we’ll cross paths again one night I am here and she’ll feel up to joining me.”

“I’m sure she would be delighted.”

Callen slipped passed Marko and made his way to the entrance where he paid the bill and left. He hadn’t done things his usual way, not wanting to call attention to himself by paying upfront. He called Nell from the car. She knew he was here tonight and had promised to stay in the office in case he managed to get any leads. She had things to work on anyway so had assured him it wouldn’t be a problem.

“Callen, any luck?”

“She was here but I couldn’t talk to her.”

“Too busy?”

“No. She fled when she saw me.” Close enough to the truth. “But she’s going by the name Marie. If you can access any cameras nearby she left here about,” Callen glanced at his watch, “ten minutes ago with a man who was taking her home. You might be able to track them somehow. See if she still goes to the same place.” Callen knew this was one of the places that didn’t have cameras close by but there were some along the street that might help.

“I’ll see what I can do and I’ll look into the Marie aspect.”

“Nell, thank you, but don’t stay too late on my account.”

“All good. Eric and I have some things to catch up on anyway so I’m not here alone.”

“Night Nell.”

“Night Callen.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felicity's view this time. We step back just slightly to after her run in with the customer. And, again, all conversation in the restaurant is in Romanian just written in English for ease of reading.

* * *

 

Eyes closed and head dropped forward, Felicity concentrated on her breathing and slowly relaxing the muscles in her shoulders. It was over. She was fine. Just an accident mixed with a hot tempered, alcohol fueled customer. She was fine she repeated to herself.

"Marie."

Felicity lifted her head at the sound of her boss's concerned voice and the name she'd lived with for two years. Marko smiled at her gently.

"Are you okay my dear?" he asked.

Felicity nodded. "Better, thank you Marko. I'm sorry -"

Marko cut her off. "Nothing to be sorry about. It wasn't your fault the drink spilled. He was out of line. What kind of man would I be if I let him get away with that kind of behaviour?"

Felicity attempted a smile at that comment but it didn't hold for long. Marko was a wonderful boss and always looked after his staff. It was a joy to work here and she'd always felt safe, until tonight. Marko returned her smile, though she could still see concern in his eyes.

"Now," he said, "I have a request from a customer who would like to talk to you."

"Talk to me?"

A shiver of apprehension ran up her spine.

"He's recently lost his wife and misses conversation in our native language. He'd just like to spend some time talking."

"I…" Felicity clenched her fingers into fist, her nails digging into the palms to stop her hands shaking as the fear that had been slowly settling down inside flared again.

"It's okay if you don't want to," Marko assured her and she felt some of the tension release from her shoulders. She knew he would never make her do anything she didn't want to do so she listened to the rest of what he had to say. "It could be a good time to have your break and something to eat in the company of someone nice."

"How do you know he is nice?"

Marko grinned. "I have excellent instincts. Remember I accepted your proposal."

Felicity chuckled. "You took some convincing."

"Yes, but that's only because I wanted to pay you and you wouldn't have it. Now, do you want to have a break and something to eat with this gentleman or not?"

Felicity sighed. "Alright. I could use a little more time after that…" She waved toward the restaurant.

The man who had come after her when the drink had fallen off her tray had rattled her way more than a disgruntled customer normally did. His menacing behaviour would've had her running out the door if she hadn't been frozen with fear. She shook off the lingering feeling and told herself it was just a bad, drunk customer. Nothing personal and nothing to do with her past.

She'd been distinctly unsettled this week. Unsettled, fearful and frustrated. It had started with the man she'd spent the night with just over a week ago. Now nightmares plagued her sleep, repeating that night but never allowing her to wake while they were still good. Instead the nightmares usually went further with blurry faces stalking her from the shadows with menacing voices, guns and flames. And still she had the massive unexplainable urge to warn Grisha to run. Many times she'd woken with his name on her lips and her throat raw. Given how little sleep she'd had recently and Marko's lack of comment about how tired she looked she must've done wonders with her make-up this evening.

She watched Marko dish up a plate of food for her before he motioned with his head to follow. She rose from the chair she was sitting in. Her fingers unclenched and she noted her palms were sweaty. She wiped them on her black skirt before following Marko out the door that separated the kitchen from the restaurant eating area.

"You know my dear, it wouldn't hurt for you to use this as a test run," Marko said in a low tone.

"For what?" Felicity murmured. Her eyes searched through the dimly lit restaurant, to see if she could figure out who had wanted to talk with her, though she wasn't hopeful. The lighting from the overhead lights was low; enough for the servers to see where they were going. Most of the light for each table came from a lantern in the middle - which shone bright enough to only illuminate the food and the occupants of each table so they could see one another. The tables were spread further apart than they needed to be to help create a peaceful, intimate atmosphere.

"For a date," Marko replied quietly.

"What?" It had been a long time since she'd gone on something as simple as a date. A date meant opening up, letting someone in and that wasn't something she could do again. She'd lost too much.

"A young girl like you should be on a date on a Friday night, not working for nothing here for me."

Felicity smiled. "I'm not that young Marko. Though I appreciate your concern, I'm happy the way I am."

Except she wasn't.

She'd hadn't been truly happy for a very, very long time. That lingering shadow of fear always took away the truly though she had managed to find some degree of happiness for a while. But the shadow was always there, haunting everything. She hated it but had learned to live with it, even ignore it occasionally but it was never really gone.

She also missed having someone to lean on when things were tough, missed having someone to talk to at the end of the day; to share the good times and the bad. Someone to trust. Companionship and friendship were severely lacking in her life these days. And yes, she also missed the physical, intimate side of a relationship, though that was the easiest to satisfy when she meet someone who interested her in that way. She was selective and protective due to life experiences so it was rare but not unusual. As long as she felt safe, at least in reference to the situation and the potential lover, she'd let nature take its cause. Though the last time she'd done that hadn't exactly worked out according to plan. One night he said. Well one night had lead to many nights in her dreams that ended in nightmares she still couldn't decipher to her satisfaction. She gave herself a mental shake as Marko stepped closer to one of the corner tables for two.

She also wasn't as young as she'd led Marko to believe and that sat heavily on her heart. Marko was a dear sweet man and he looked out for her. More often than not at the end of her shift there were a selection of leftovers ready for her to take home and freeze. He'd told her she reminded him of his daughter who was living in New York and was simply wanting to take care of her the way he hoped someone would take care of her. A 'Paying it Forward' kind of thing.

Marko placed her plate on the table and pulled out her chair. Felicity sat, a strange nervousness shifting through her as she did and she kept her gaze lowered from this stranger who had asked for her company.

"Marie, this is Andre," Marko introduced.

Felicity took a breath and lifted her head to look at him. "Hello -" The word trailed off, her heart suddenly pounded beneath her ribs and her lungs felt paralysed. Him. Those eyes. She blinked. It couldn't be. How did he find her? She'd never seen him here before and she'd been working, of sorts, for Marko for a year. She was sitting across from someone she was certain had tracked her down - her nightmare brought to life. Her breathing kicked back in, shallow and fast. She tried to remember that she'd felt safe with him that night but it didn't help. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't have been able to find her.

Marko kept speaking, unaware of her reaction. "Enjoy your dinner Marie, take your time." She barely felt the, supposedly, reassuring pat on her shoulder.

Felicity sensed Marko leaving and wanted to scream for him to stay, to tell him this wasn't the man he thought he was but the words were stuck in her throat and she could barely breathe let alone talk.

"Thank you for joining me."

That voice had filled her dreams this last week, and hearing it now brought back vivid memories of their night together which led far too quickly to her recalling just as vividly the nightmare scenario endings. Suddenly the feeling that the nightmare had been telling her to run, not just from the room that night, overcame her. Not just the room - the man, the city. Her current life.

"I didn't know it was you," she managed to say. Felicity struggled to get her breath to even out, to go in and out in some kind of calm manner. The fear was suffocating, drowning her.

"I'm sorry. I just want a chance to talk."

"You lied." Even she could hear the breathlessness to her voice. She need to be strong. "You said one night. No looking back." One night that she hadn't wanted to end, at least until she woke up screaming. No names. How had he found her? Her mind whirled with the possibilities to a point that the room felt like it was spinning.

"What happened? Why did you run?" he asked.

She tried to focus on his question but she couldn't answer him even if she wanted to. Because she wasn't entirely sure she'd managed to figure out what her emotions were doing when she'd run; only that she'd panicked and something in her told her to get out. The fear and the terror, that stayed with her upon waking that she hadn't been able to shake off, had held her focus so even though there had also been something inside her that had tried to get her to stay, fear had won and she'd fled. She still didn't understand that particular conflict either. But she did understand what she was feeling right now, though she was unsure which feeling would win out first - the urge to throw up or the light-headedness that would most likely end in a faint.

"Did you lie to Marko about your wife?" Felicity asked. She had no idea what she wanted the answer to be. If he hadn't lied, she might find a way to trust him, but then that would mean that their night together would take on a whole different meaning. It could explain why he hadn't wanted names. Perhaps she had simply been a replacement for his wife, a chance to believe she was still with him. She wasn't sure where the feeling came but it hit her suddenly and hard that she hated the idea of being a replacement for anyone to him and that added to her current confusion. She didn't even know if he was after her or if she could trust him so that thought didn't quite fit with the rest of her current emotions.

"Yes. I don't have a wife," he admitted. "I've never had a wife."

Something in her told her that he was telling the truth. She hoped it wasn't just wishful thinking. Fear continued to rise but she knew she was safe here in the restaurant. She knew Marko would not let anything happen to her. If she was going to be safe anywhere it was here. The fear stopped rising and she felt it slowly start to subside, little by little as she breathed. Maybe...

"Please," he interrupted her thoughts, his tone pleading. "Just give me a chance Felicity."

Her heart slammed in her chest surprising her with the increase in force from just a few moments ago when she realised who he was, and she swore her whole body went ice cold.

No. No. No. How could he possibly know that name? First Grisha, now Felicity.

Her hand came to her mouth as her stomach rolled and she felt the overwhelming need to wretch. She stood, her chair pushed backwards with the action, and ran toward the kitchen and the staff bathrooms.

Obviously the fainting feeling lost.

* * *

"Marie?" The soft voice came from the other side of the cubicle door. Louisa, Marko's wife.

"I'm …" She was going to say fine but she was anything but. "I'm sorry. I think I should go home."

A glass of water was nudged under the gap beneath the stall door. "Drink, just a little."

Felicity swirled a mouthful of water around her mouth and spat it out first then took a small sip. She slowly stood, leaned against the wall for a moment as she gathered her wits and let the room stop the small amount of swaying that it was doing. She breathed slow and even as another wave of nausea washed over her and settled. When she exited Louisa took the cup from her. Felicity washed her hands and splashed some cool water on her heated face before Louisa guided her outside to the chair she had been sitting in before.

What a night this had been. Two run ins with customers. This was usually such a safe haven for her. A place to relax, blend into the background and listen to what was going on in the Romani world of Los Angeles. So many whispers came through here and walking among the tables allowed her to listen in for things she needed to know. Marko did very little advertising and she knew most of the people here were natives of her home country too; looking for home, looking for somewhere quiet to talk and not be looked at strangely. She had heard things she didn't want to know while she'd slipped through the tables, delivering and taking away, though she had gotten quite good at shutting out most of the conversations and tuning her mind into a few key words that would let her know if those she feared were around. But she never heard anything about them or of anyone looking for who she had been. Sometimes servers were easily ignored which suited her quite well. Apparently that wasn't the case tonight.

"Marie," Marko's voice intruded on her thoughts. "What happened? Did he do something to you?"

Felicity heard the protective note in Marko's voice. He'd already come to her rescue once tonight and he would have no qualms about going after someone else. But Marko didn't know why she was here, didn't know who she really was, and if she told him about the man... She cut off the thought there and shook her head. She couldn't. It was bad enough to know she was deceiving Marko but to have him look at her knowing it too, she couldn't handle that. Not now. She wanted to leave their relationship in tact in his mind.

"No, nothing like that," she denied. "I've been feeling slightly unwell all day. I guess it just caught up to me."

"Why didn't you stay home? You stubborn girl." Marko put his hand on her shoulder, comfortingly. Just like her father used to do. "Roberto," he called out to his son. "Come, take Marie home. She's not well."

Felicity stood up, grateful that she could escape, yet it pained her that she would never set foot in here again. She offered an apology to Marko for the customer, it would cover things well, before she said her goodbyes. She hugged Marko and Louisa before she left them, unfortunately with a lie, by agreeing to only come in if she felt well enough after a couple of days rest.

* * *

Felicity felt like slamming down the phone but the drawback to cell phones was that hanging up required only the push of a button.

"One week," she murmured to herself. "That's all I have to last."

The documents for her new identity wouldn't be ready for a week - because she didn't have the ten thousand dollars it would take to get them in a day. The amount agreed upon to have them done in a week though was still high. She was sure she was being ripped off but she had no choice. The first two contacts she'd tried on her list were no longer available. Three had always seemed enough. Now she didn't have a choice, there was no time to search for another option.

Oh why hadn't she done this after that night? She knew though, deep down she knew she'd managed to talk herself into waiting to see if anything else confirmed it. Her father's voice distinctly strong in the argument. After all it was just a dream, wasn't it? She should've prepared though.

She'd been so close to having her life back. Two years she'd spent as Marie. Two years staying safe and listening to see if she was just being paranoid after her father had suddenly died. She had been on the verge of returning to her life as Felicity, looking up old friends and living some form of life again rather than hiding away in the shadows.

The trust fund from the insurance policy her father had taken out on his own life gave her a small income. In the event of his death it was supposed to be for Gregory to travel and see some of the world but Gregory had died first and her father had change it to be for her. She knew her father had hoped one day she might be able to use it return and see her home but in the meantime it provided five thousand dollars every three months. She didn't think she would be able to fulfill his wishes. Home was somewhere she would never return. She'd had her doubts as to whether 'they' were involved in Gregory's death, though she'd given in and trusted her father's instincts that said they weren't; because the pain she felt after losing her son had all but consumed her she hadn't trust herself much. But now, now she wasn't so sure he'd been right.

A close friend of her father's had been put in charge of the trust initially. Closer than she thought because he'd agreed with her request that he meet her outside of the bank and bring the money to her, not to mention turning a blind eye to her 'address'. She'd agreed to meet him and his wife for lunch every three months. Somewhere different each time. It had reassured him that she was okay and gave her just that one small connection to the person she had been for so long. A comfort of sorts even though she wasn't comfortable with the predictability of the visits he'd requested. She hadn't wanted to argue and simply made sure she was more vigilant, both security wise and emotionally, on those days when she had to return to San Diego.

The last time she'd gone to him he'd brought her documents to turn the trust over to her. He was sick and knew he didn't have long left. She'd been tempted to withdraw all the money and close it but she hadn't because she'd felt so close to coming back. Now, she most definitely regretted that moment of weakness. She would need to figure out how to access the rest of the funds and close the account - close down the life of Felicity Williams forever.

Felicity sat down on her couch and rested her head in her hands. She'd have to pack, only the essentials and what she could carry and keep with her. She'd take a train somewhere new, maybe spend some time in the mountains. It would be easy to be unnoticed there. She'd just have to make sure she had enough supplies for a few months. It would be simpler with a car but living in LA had meant it was very easy to live without one, with the added bonus of no photo identification which allowed her to stay more anonymous.

The move to San Diego had helped her recover from Gregory's death and the divorce. It was easier that way. A fresh start, nowhere that would bring her vivid memories to her mind, at least nothing visual to prompt them. How she wished she didn't remember like she did. It made everything that much more difficult to leave behind. And it certainly didn't get any easier the more times she did it.

"One week. I can do one week," she told herself.

She a job to go to tomorrow. An official job this time and her boss was strict. If she didn't show up she'd be in trouble and right now she needed all the money she could get to see her through until she could figure out when it would be safe to go to the bank one last time.

Having to pay for a new identity was going to eat into the savings she had stashed in her safe. She'd need to keep a low profile, stay in the apartment unless she had no choice. She would have to tell Marko that she was still unwell.

Marko.

She trusted that he wouldn't tell the man her address, and, since she used Marie James at the restaurant even if Marko had mentioned her last name he shouldn't be able to track her. She frowned. How had he found out about Felicity though? Who was he? While she couldn't answer that with one hundred percent certainty, she suspected. Her nightmares had to be telling her something and that was the only thing she could really get from it.

They were coming for her. It wasn't fair. They'd taken everything that meant anything to her. Why couldn't they leave her in peace? She knew the answer. Everything meant everything to them. No one escaped from them, no matter how long it took. And she had escaped.

Felicity rose from the couch and moved to her bedroom. She had to sleep. She needed her mind to be functioning properly in case someone was following her or she would be caught and that would be the end. Briefly the thought flickered through her mind that maybe that would be better. The end. No more running. No more fear, just the chance to join those she loved in whatever came next, somewhere peaceful and free of fear. She shook it off. Her father hadn't sacrificed all these years to protect her and give her some kind of life to have her decide to give up and die. She wouldn't let him down. She'd fight with everything she had until there was no other option.


	7. Chapter 7

After yet another restless night waking with her screams ringing in his ears more times than Callen cared to count, he headed into the office early to work on some reports.

Except he couldn’t focus.

There was something about her that was like an obsession. As much as he wished the obsession came from the physical attraction - it would be so much simpler to push aside - it was Felicity’s, or Marie’s, possible connection to him.  It was slim yet the less they found the more his gut told him there was one and that she could give him answers. Answers to what he wasn’t quite sure. Now if only he could find her and somehow make it clear to her that he wasn’t there to hurt her, that he just wanted to talk. Whatever it was that she feared was difficult to get passed. He’d been so close but she’d run again after he’d scared her by using her other name.

He was still kicking himself for slipping up. He’d never made that kind of mistake before, not with names. Sure in the early days he’d slipped a little when undercover, nothing he hadn’t been able to fix though. But never names. Names were the one thing he was always sure he could get right even when he and Sam were flying by the seat of their pants and making things up as they went.

Because of that he’d lost his chance with her there at the restaurant. If his instincts were right, she wouldn’t be coming back, not now she’d been found there. And if they didn’t find her soon, before she was able to go underground, they’d be lucky to find her at all.

Eric’s whistle broke through his thoughts and Callen looked up, hoping for a case to take his mind off things until he had more to go on.

“Nell wants you. She’s got something.”

Callen glanced around and realised the others weren’t in the office yet. That whistle was just for him. The realisation that they might find her and get answers started his heart beating just a little bit faster. The report in front of him no longer held his attention - if it ever did - and Callen closed the laptop and stood. He took the stairs two at a time.

“Nell?”

Nell spun on her chair and smiled. It was a look of triumph though there was also the slightest bit of hesitation.

“I think I’ve got something, but Callen, after last night,” Nell’s smile shifted to a frown. “Are you sure you want to keep going after her?”

“I’ve got to Nell. She’s scared. Even more so now because of me. At the very least I need to make her understand that I’m not trying to hurt her.” He’d admitted to Nell earlier this morning what had actually happened.

“But what if you can’t do that?” Nell asked.

That was a scenario Callen really hoped to avoid.

“I have to try. You would too if her scream haunted you.” Nell bit her lip.  Obviously there was something she was trying not to say. “What is it Nell?”

“It’s just such a slim connection. Not even a connection really. Probably just a coincidence. Maybe you just…” Nell trailed off.

“I just want it to be me because I need answers?” She wasn’t the only one who had that thought flitter through their minds. It was a constant niggle in his.

Nell’s lips twitched.

“Nell,” Callen said, “I do need answers and I believe she’ll be able to give me some.”

“But there’s no obvious connection,” Nell said a touch of concern in her voice, “All we’ve got is a name she cried in her sleep and that she speaks Romanian. A name that could be her son or someone else. We don’t even truly know how old she is.”

Callen frowned. “What do you mean? She’s a year younger than me.”

“Felicity Williams is a year younger than you. Marie on the other hand, if I’ve found the right one, is only thirty two.”

Callen’s hope sank. “Which would mean she wouldn’t know me at all.”  

“Look,” Nell said. “I’ve found who I think she might be but please, consider leaving it alone. If this is her real age, she’s definitely got no connection with you.” Callen couldn’t help but wonder if there was something more to Nell’s request.

“Do you have an address for me?” he asked, his attention now firmly focused on all the things, little and otherwise that Nell was saying or doing.  

“Possibly.” There was a definite tone of reluctance to her voice and Callen wasn’t sure if it was that she didn’t want to give it to him or if it was because she wasn’t completely sure she had the right person.

Callen smiled. “I promise, if there’s nothing at her home that suggests a connection with me, I’ll consider dropping it.” He couldn’t promise he would so this was the most he could give her.

Nell looked thoughtful for a moment. He suspected she knew exactly why he’d phrased it that way. “Deal,” she said and turned back to her computer.

“Nell.” She looked back at him. Callen smiled. “I appreciate that you are worried about her. It’s very sweet.” He could only hope that was all that was behind Nell’s concern.

“I’m worried about you too,” Nell murmured when she’d faced her terminal. Callen smiled, stepped closer and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you,” he said gently. “But you don’t need to.”

“Bullshit,” she said under her breath. Eric’s head flew in her direction, his eyes wide in shock.

Callen chuckled. “Don’t let Hetty hear you talk like that.”

Nell turned around on her chair and stared at him. Callen raised an eyebrow. Hetty was teaching her the look. He wasn’t quaking yet, but he had no doubt, give her time and she’d be just as good - and effective. “Hetty talks like that,” Nell told him, “and she’d agree with me. We all worry about you when you get like this.”

“Like?”

“Obsessed. It’s when you’re more likely to turn lone wolf on us.”

“Yet I’m not this time.” That made Nell think. Made him think a little too. He hadn’t just gone off to try and find her on his own. He’d come here, asked for her help. Hetty. Sam. Eric. All of them. They all knew about her. Not all the specific details though he’d had to deal with looks from Deeks regarding what he’d gotten up to with her.  “What did you find Nell, please?” he asked.

Nell turned back to the screen. “I found the car she was taken home in. Took a bit of back and forth to find cars near the restaurant that were also near her area. Like when she was on foot we lost it in the back streets, but we found it when it came out pretty quickly. Given the time it was ‘lost’ we’ve narrowed down the search area further. I ran a search through all the addresses in that section for anyone with the name Marie, since I’d already done it with the name Felicity and came up with nothing.”

“You came up with something.” It wasn’t a question. Callen knew she had or he wouldn’t have been called up here.

“Yes,” Nell confirmed. “Six Marie’s are attached to the addresses in that area.”

“That’s not too many.” It certainly narrowed down their list of targets.

“It gets better,” Eric added. Nell smiled at him, a smile that wasn’t entirely professional.

Callen’s lips twitched and he wondered just when the two of them were either going to admit they liked each other and do something about it or whether they were actually better at keeping secrets than he’d given them credit for and already were. There was admiration for each other in both their eyes and more than a little something else when he’d occasionally caught Eric watching her instead of working and vice versa.  At least if the two of them got together he wouldn’t have to do too much to scare Eric with the ‘don’t hurt her’ talk. Hetty would more than likely take care of that.

“I’ve been able to track down four of the Marie’s with photo identification,” Nell said, “and none of them are your girl.”

Technically she wasn’t his girl. What she was he still wasn’t sure though his girl for one night she had definitely been. His body responded a little at the thought of that night but he pushed it aside.

“The other two?” Callen asked.

“One seems to check out. An eighty four year old woman, no recent photo ID but the last one she did have before expiry still had this address on it.”

“And the last?”

“A little tricky,” Nell admitted. “There’s no photo ID on record for her. She’s been in the apartment for two years. Name of Marie Daniels.”

“Daniels?” Callen frowned. “Why does that sound familiar?”

“Her father’s name,” Eric said.

“And Felicity’s middle name of Mary could be Marie,” Callen added seeing the connection Nell had spotted.

Nell nodded. “Yep. I can’t guarantee I’ve got the right one but it is the most likely one.”

“Send the address to my phone.” Callen gave her a gentle pat of thanks on the shoulder. “Sam and I can check it out when he comes in.” Having lost her twice, he was going to make sure he had back up so if she ran he had someone covering the alternative exit.

“Done and there’s more,” Nell said as Callen felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

“Marie Daniels actually has a job, with medical insurance. Just a small sales job but it’s regular.”

“Do you know when she works there?”

Nell shook her head. “No, but between that job, the money she withdraws and what you told me about her job at the restaurant, it would support a basic and simple life here in LA. According to tax records it looks like she’s working at least twenty hours a week.”

“I’ll need that address too.”

“Sent with the apartment one. I’m still working with the foreign language student thread but unless we know what name we’re looking for it’s going to be hard to track her. I’ve already checked all the places that require photo ID and she’s not at any of those.”

“Thanks Nell.” He’d told Nell that he felt that line wasn’t going to pan out, that it was probably just a cover for Marko but Nell being Nell wasn’t going to leave any stone unturned, even if she did want him to considering leaving her alone.

Callen started to leave.

“Callen.” Nell’s voice stopped him and turned around. “Please be careful. You don’t want to scare her anymore.”

There was something in Nell’s eyes; compassion, empathy, worry? Callen wondered if he needed to have a word with Hetty about making sure Nell was okay. The last couple of years had been pretty full on for Nell; more field work, including her first kill and a couple of times when she had been in serious danger.

Callen’s eyes caught Nell’s and he shifted forward a little closer. “Then perhaps if she’s scared,” Nell’s eye’s widened just a fraction as if she suspected he wasn’t just talking about Felicity anymore. “It would be good for someone to talk to her. Someone who can reassure her she’s safe. Perhaps it would be good for _her_ to talk to someone too.”

Nell swallowed and nodded a little shakily.

He leaned forward and lowered his voice as he spoke in her ear soft enough that Eric wouldn’t hear. “Talk to me anytime Nell.”

He straightened up and stepped back.

“I’ll be careful,” he assured her.

 

* * *

 

“We’ll try where she works first,” Callen told Sam as he drove them through the streets later that morning.

“Why not home?” Sam asked. “If she’s scared she’s probably getting ready to run.”

“If she needs to run, she’ll need money.”

“G, what’s going one?” Sam asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean there’s got to be more to this than just a name. Or you using the wrong one.” Callen had the suspicion that telling Sam about his little slip up last night may have been a mistake. He let that comment slide.

“My gut Sam. She’s got answers.”

“Or are you hoping she has?”

“You sound like Nell.”

“I’ll take that as the compliment on my intelligence I’m sure you meant it to be,” Sam replied sarcastically forcing Callen to hold back a grin.

“Not going to take it that you’ve got a high pitched voice?”

“G.”

Callen groaned. He knew that tone. Sam’s dog with a bone tone.

“I know you spent the night with her,” Sam went on. “I’m guessing something was different with her than the others.”

Time to nip this conversation in the bud.  Sam knew he occasionally found a woman to enjoy a night with. Callen generally managed to brush it off as purely physical. He didn’t mention the need or the comfort factor.

“This has nothing to do with that,” Callen assured Sam. “Not that part of it anyway.”

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting more than one night with someone.”

There is was. Sam’s need to have him happy with someone like he was with Michelle. That was all well and good for someone like Sam and he appreciated the fact that his friend only wanted what was best for him. But what was best for Sam, wasn’t necessarily best for someone else, in particular him. Callen wasn’t there yet, maybe never would be.

“For me there is,” Callen said. “It’s called a relationship and I fail at them miserably. Do I need to remind you of Joelle?”

“No. I’d prefer you didn’t,” Sam replied with an abrupt tone.

Callen knew it still rankled Sam that the woman he and Michelle had set him up with had played the pair of them. Sam had even asked Hetty to run thorough background checks on all those who lived in his street. Hetty had stared him down and only agreed to those Sam and Michelle frequently interacted with. Though Callen actually suspected that she’d already done them, on everyone, but didn’t want Sam to know. They’d all been hyper-vigilant for so long with the mole issue and were finding it hard to come down to a more reasonable level. Perhaps that was why this thing with Felicity was so much of an obsession. The hyper awareness and almost paranoia that someone knew him, where he was and was out to get him. But he didn’t think she was. It was more that he felt like there might be a connection, and the longer this went on the stronger that feeling got.

Callen found a parking space within sight of their targeted building.

“G, talk to me.”

Callen groaned. “There’s nothing to talk about Sam.”

“You used the wrong name.”

“A mistake.”

“You don’t make those kind of mistakes. Want to know what I think?”

“No, but I don’t think you’re actually asking my permission to tell me are you?”

“She’s different,” Sam went on just as Callen thought he would. “Something about her, and nothing to do with her saying your name, has touched you in a way the others don’t.”

Callen looked at Sam and raised an eyebrow. “Touched? You know what we did right?”

“I’m not talking about the sex G.” Sam’s tone was exasperated. “My guess is you felt more for her than just physical.”

“Dammit Sam.” Callen sighed roughly. “Yes,” he admitted. “It was different. Better. But it was still just physical.” He really should’ve left the better out of it.

“You sure about that? Because you’re getting all worked up about something.”

“Because you won’t….” Callen was interrupted from telling his partner off when his phone rang.  He recognised the number and smirked. “You know you remind me a lot of him right now.”

Before Sam could reply Callen answered the call direct to speaker. Sam would hear anyway.

“Arkady, you have something for me?” Callen caught the glare from his partner before he fixed his eyes on the entrance to the shop that Nell had found Felicity worked at. Sam would absolutely hate being compared to Arkady like that, or in any way for that matter.

“Not exactly.”

“So why are you calling?”

“Thought it might be useful to know you on right track.”

Callen sat up straight in his seat. “Your contacts know who she is?”

“My contact remembers little girl with those eyes.”

Callen waited for Arkady to continue. When he didn’t he spoke. “That’s it? There could’ve been any number of green eyed girls come through.”

“Paleness of them,” Arkady told him. “He said he never forget combination of pale green and terror. Usually when they arrived he witness relief, though still fear and scared.  He normally coax a smile from little ones. His way of welcoming them to their new world, their safe life. This little girl.” There was a brief pause and Callen could almost see Arkady shake his head before continuing. “Terrified, eyes full of fear, shaking. If she hadn’t been clinging so tightly to her father he would’ve suspected kidnapping. Terror in her father’s eyes but relief and a determination to have daughter safe.”

“Nothing else?” It didn’t help them much. Well, not in terms of finding her but it did cause that feeling of connection to grow.

“Time frame fits with 76 arrival,” Arkady added. “I sorry it is not more. The one who did documentation back then died year ago. That’s all there is for me to find.”

Callen couldn’t help but notice Arkady’s tone held sorrow.

“Thanks Arkady. I appreciate it.”

“Maybe your technical whizzes can follow that trail.”

“I’m hoping they won’t have to.”

“You found her?”

“Not yet, but we’ve got a possible lead.”

“I look forward to meeting girl you can’t keep out of your mind.”

“You wouldn’t be able to keep her scream out of your mind either.”

“I assuming you don’t mean sexual one.”

Callen hung up before he said something he might very well regret. The man drove him insane but Arkady would always come through if he could. And that was worth a lot of awkward conversations.

“So right track huh?” Sam commented, thankfully leaving anything about Arkady’s inappropriate comments alone.

“Looks like it.” Not one hundred percent confirmation that she wasn’t born here in the United States but the information made it highly likely that she was from Romania as he suspected.

Callen settled back to focus on watching the shop and street. But Sam had other ideas.

“G. I think you slipped up because you weren’t being someone else.”

“I was being Andre.”

“No. You were using that name but you were you. You weren’t on a mission and you weren't thinking like an agent. You were thinking like you. G, Grisha, the man not an alias.”

Callen dropped his head back against the headrest. “Sam. She was scared. I was trying to reassure her. I made mistake. Don’t read too much into it.”

“You’re not reading enough. It’s okay to feel something G. As yourself.”

Callen didn’t respond and Sam seemed to be finished so he concentrated his attention back on the shop and the surrounding street. Though in the back of his mind he did let what Sam had said swirl around. When she’d been sitting across from him at the table last night, he’d been concerned for her. Not for a mission or himself. He hadn’t thought about what he was saying because he was too focused on her and trying to ease the fear he could see. It wasn’t just last night either. The night they’d spent together he’d also focused on her and although they had not shared names, he hadn’t been anyone else. Something about her had pulled him out from deep inside. Sure he could play the caring lover who made sure his partners needs were met. He did that normally. But that night - it wasn’t just about meeting needs. There was more and he realised he hadn’t been playing a part that night. Perhaps that was why it had been so different with her and so much better. So what was it about her that had him throwing off a persona and just simply being him? Internally Callen groaned at the thought of Sam finding out he was right. He’d never live it down.

“Look,” Sam tilted his head toward the shop. Callen’s gaze quickly scanned both sides near the entrance door and recognised her instantly.

“That’s her.”

“How do you want to do this G?”

Callen knew the likelihood of her running if she saw him again was pretty much one hundred percent. Sam approaching her was the best bet.

“I’ll go round back,” he told Sam, “and if she runs, I’ll catch her there. You go through the front and,” Callen grinned at his partner. “See if your SEAL charm can get her to talk to us.”

Sam rolled his eyes and ignored his comment. “Let me know when you’re in place.”

“Thanks Sam.”

Callen stepped out of the car and made his way around to the back of the line of shops where she worked, Eric having already given them a detailed map so that he would be waiting outside the right door. He couldn’t let her get away this time.

“Let’s do this.” he said when he was in position.

“Going in,” came Sam’s words through the earwig and Callen’s eyes focused on the door as he waited.

Callen hoped that Sam would be able to slip past her defences and actually get to talk to her.  Sam could at least show her his badge and assure her of her safety. Though maybe he should’ve brought Nell down here with them. Female touch or something a tad less scary than Sam had the possibility of being.

“G. She’s runnin’!” came Sam’s voice in his ear.

Callen’s body tensed at the words, ready to react. The back door swung open and she came running through, her focus more on behind her than in front. She stumbled down the step. He reacted quickly and caught her before she fell.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Her head flew around at his words and she tried to jerked away from him. Her eyes wide in fear. “We’re not here to hurt you,” he tried again.

“Leave me alone.” Her words came out soft and fear filled. “Let Go!” her voice much louder this time. Callen shifted to twist her back into his arms as she tried to pull away again. Her back came flush up against his body, he held her tight but she struggled hard against him. She was strong, though he already knew that.

“We’re here to help,” Callen said in what he hoped was a reassuring tone. “You’re safe.”

Yet still she fought him so he wasn’t doing so good on the reassuring front.

“Sam, come on,” Callen muttered as he shifted his head quickly to avoid an elbow to the face.

“Please,” she begged.

Callen felt her struggles stop as she collapsed against him. He took it as a hopeful sign of her tiring from fighting against him. With a relieved sigh he loosened his grip just a little so that he wouldn’t hurt her. That was a mistake. She twisted suddenly and a hiss of pain was pulled from his lips as he felt something slice his upper arm and instinctively let go. She backed away from him, her eyes wild and the knife in her hand stained with blood. His blood.

Before he could say anything, her eyes flicked to the doorway and Callen saw Sam out of his peripheral vision.

“Sam, put the gun down,” Callen said quickly. He didn’t take his eyes off her. “Felicity, we just want to talk.” Callen held his hands up in front of him to show her he didn’t have any weapons.

She continued to back away and Callen took a step forward not wanting to give her too much room to run.

“Talk?” She spat out, fear filled her voice. “Comescu don’t talk.”

Before Callen could respond, she threw the knife at his feet which made him jump back and by the time he looked up she was fleeing down the alley. He started to follow but Sam’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“Sam. She’s getting away.”

“Eric.” Sam had his phone out on speaker already.

“That’s me.”

Sam shook his head again at Callen when he tried to tug his arm away from his partner. Sam lifted his arm to show him the two inch slice in the upper arm of his sleeve that was soaking up the blood.

“She’s headed for the beach end at the back of the building,” Sam told Eric.

If Eric was watching that would help.

“Long yellow skirt,” Callen added, “white shirt. Hair loose and small blue bag. Don’t lose her Eric please.” Damn, his arm was starting to sting.

“We’re headed to the boatshed,” Sam told Eric with a firm look at Callen that told him it was pointless to argue with what was coming. “I’m gonna patch up G and then we’ll check in with you to see where she’s at.”

“Callen okay?” Eric asked.

“Just a slightly close encounter with a blade Eric,” Callen assured him. “I’ll be fine, just keep her in sight.”

“Got her,” Eric replied triumphantly. “I’ll do my best.”

“Thanks Eric.”

* * *

 

_At the Boat shed._

 

Callen let out a hiss of pain as Sam doused the cut on his arm with antiseptic. “Sam!”

“Needs to be done. No idea what was on that knife. She must’ve grabbed it from the kitchen when she ran out.”

“So much for your charm.”

“G, I didn’t even get to say anything. She took one look at me and went pale. She’s on alert and I’d bet my next paycheck she’s firmly on the run.”

Sam patted his arm dry, surprisingly gentle for such a big guy.

“If she thinks the Comescu’s are after her,” Callen replied after a couple of deep breaths, “of course she will be. The question is whether Eric can keep track of her so get moving and patch me up.”

“Stay still then,” Sam grumbled at him. “It’s all clean. It doesn’t look deep enough for stitches, though it’s close. Butterfly strips and a tight bandage for now, but if it keeps bleeding, it’ll be stitches.”

“Mr Hanna.”

Both men turned their heads to their boss who had managed yet again to creep up on them. Though creep didn’t seem quite the right word for Hetty and most definitely wasn’t one to use out loud within her hearing distance.

“How is Mr Callen?”

“He’ll live.” Sam said as he applied the last of the butterfly strips and pulled a bandage out of the medical kit. “It’s not too bad. No stitches … yet.”

“Perhaps it’s time to let this bird go Mr Callen.”

“No Hetty, it’s not.” Not now. Definitely not now. It was more important than ever to find her. There was enough proof in his mind that she was connected to him in some way.  If Hetty wanted to shut things down, he’d just have to go on alone. It would be harder but he wasn’t going to give up.

“She’s flown away three times Mr Callen. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

“What it tells me is that she’s scared and desperate, and expected this somehow.”

“Still.”

“Hetty,” Callen focused his eyes on Hetty’s. “She thinks we’re Comescu.”

Hetty’s eyes widened. “Comescu? Are you sure?”

“I heard her Hetty,” Sam confirmed. “G told her that we just wanted to talk. Her response was Comescu don’t talk.”

And that was why he really couldn’t let it go. If she knew of the Comescu’s, if she was afraid of them this much, then she was connected. He was ninety nine percent sure of that now.

“Well,” Hetty paused, “That does put a different light on the matter.”

Callen felt a very definite easing of tension. Hetty wouldn’t pull the plug just yet.

“Why would the Comescu’s be after her?” Sam asked.

“More to the point Mr Hanna, why would she think they are, considering we effectively killed them off a few years ago.”

“Hetty, even if she won’t talk to me, isn’t connected to me,” Callen said, “the least we can do is let her know the Comescu’s are gone.”

“You would leave it at that?” Hetty asked.

Callen took a breath as Sam tightened the final wrap of the bandage and hissed a little when Sam put the fasteners on it.

“Sorry, G,” Sam said almost under his breath.

“I don’t know Hetty,” Callen admitted honestly. “What I know is that she’s terrified because of me, because she thinks we are Comescu. If we can at least convince her that they are no longer a threat to her, she might consider talking. Even if she doesn’t,” but he hoped with everything that she would, “then it’s the right thing to do isn’t it? Let her know she’s not in danger anymore.”

Hetty nodded. “Indeed. It is the right thing to do but I do have to wonder if you would be able to let her go once you had her.”

Sam coughed, which muffled another sound, and Callen glared at his partner.

“I was not referring to their night together Mr Hanna!”

“Hetty, please let me see this through. No one deserves to live with that kind of fear. I can’t imagine what they’ve done to her to have her react this way.”

“You know some of the things they’ve done Mr Callen.”

Callen’s training meant that the shudder he felt didn’t show on the outside. Oh yes they knew, not just from personal experience but what he’d found out himself over time with his research into them.  He’d come across bad guys in his career and the Comescu rated right up there in the top five.

“Yes I know.”

“Very well,” Hetty walked over to the table and pressed a button bringing the image of Eric up on the screen. “Mr Beale, Miss Jones, what do we have?”

Callen noticed Eric didn’t look at them. He seemed focused on some other screen.

“I’ve still got her,” Eric said. “She on a bus heading east but she’s already been on two different ones. I think she’s trying to make sure you aren’t following.”

“Keep on it Mr Beale,” Hetty said. “It’s imperative that you do not lose her.”

“I’ll do my best,” Eric replied.

Hetty turned to Callen and Sam. “I suggest that you head to her apartment now. Miss Jones, can you please get Miss Blye and Mr Deeks to meet Mr Callen and Mr Hanna there as soon as possible. I think it could be a very good idea to have more back up this time.”

“Thanks Hetty.” Callen headed to the door.

“Mr Callen. Please be careful with her.”

“So everyone keeps telling me. Trust me. I will.” Deep down in his gut, his instincts, he knew that if they lost her this time, it would be over. He’d never get his answers, if she had them, and she’d continue to run and be fearful of something she didn’t need to be. This time he wasn’t going to fail.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felicity's view again. Enjoy

* * *

Felicity grabbed the crystal vase of flowers she almost knocked off the table. It was the third time this morning that she’d almost broken something. She kept her eyes averted from the frustrated look her boss sent her way.  At this rate she’d be lucky to last the week out with a job. 

“Marie, behind the counter please.” Her boss’s voice reached her ears.  “I’d like to have some stock to sell and it will be safer with you back here.”

Felicity made sure the vase was right where it was supposed to be and carefully made her way to the counter to take her boss’s place.

“Sorry,” she murmured.

Her boss muttered beneath her breath but Felicity blocked it out, knowing she didn’t want to know. She took a quiet, slow breath and let it out evenly, hoping it would calm her down.  She’d barely slept last night and had already had three large cups of coffee to help get her mind working and her senses properly on alert, at least she thought they were but evidence pointed otherwise.  A quick check behind the counter showed that her bag was still easily accessible if she needed it. If she had to run today, she knew it was the end of this job. Better that than the end of her life, no matter what her thoughts had been last night. 

A couple of customers drifted over with their purchases and she went through the reassuring routine motions of serving them; wrapping and packing the items and smiling goodbye. She slowly felt a little of her tension shift from her body as she resettled into the rhythm of the work day after her morning break; a break that had been spent looking over her shoulder.

It didn’t last long. A sliver of apprehension skittered up her spine and the tension returned. She lifted her gaze from the items on the counter she was straightening and her breath stopped in her lungs.

A tall, large dark man was looking at her and coming her way through the many random tables that made up the displays of the shops. There was something in his eyes, a determination and purpose, that ramped up the fear in her. He was here for her.

Not waiting for any further confirmation her hand reached for her bag, she turned and ran to the back of the shop.

Felicity heard voices calling out to her to stop; her boss and a male voice obviously coming from whoever he was. She ignored them, blocked them from her mind and made her way through the maze that was the back store room to the exit, collecting a knife that was sitting on the small sink as she passed by.  Some form of protection though she had a feeling if the man caught up with her it would be very ineffective. She twisted the door handle and picked up the pace as it opened. She turned slightly to check behind her, missed the step and stumbled. She gasped as strong arms caught her and protected her from hitting the rough cracked pavement that ran behind the shop.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Her head flew around at the sound of the familiar voice and her chest felt tight as she tried to breath. She shifted and twisted sharply, desperate to get away. There were two of them now. 

“We’re not here to hurt you.” His words were so close to her ear.

“Leave me alone.” Her voice came out in a weak whisper and she pulled an arm loose. “Let Go!” She sounded louder to her own ears and at least she felt like she was putting up a fight. The strong arms trapped her back against his body. Desperation filled her, terror that this was the end overwhelmed her senses. All she could think of was that she had to get away. She struggled, one of her arms managed to once again to slip from his grasp. 

“We’re here to help. You’re safe.”

She heard the hum of his voice but the blood pounding in her ears and the fear flooding her didn’t allow the words to sink in. They were coming for her and if she didn’t get away...

“Sam, come on.” 

Felicity distinctly heard a name and it confirmed her fear; definitely two of them. She had to get away before his companion made it out here. She had no idea why it was taking so long. It felt like she’d been fighting forever and her body was slowly losing the will, and the energy, to keep going. She managed to twist her upper body in his arms and brought her elbow up hard in the direction of his head. He dodged it but didn’t let her go. She felt her legs almost give out.  

“Please,” she begged and sagged against him, the feeling of defeat and lost hope weighed her down. His grip loosened just a touch and something in her mind grabbed at the chance it created. She twisted quickly and swiped the knife, that she had forgotten she had, in the direction of his shoulder eliciting a hiss of pain that gave her a very brief moment of satisfaction. His arms dropped from around her. She turned and backed up quickly not taking her eyes off his face, though through her peripheral vision she saw the blood stain on his shirt sleeve spreading. She took another step back but froze when the door she’d just come through opened again and then it was two of them to one of her. And the one who had just come through the door had her in his sights with his gun.

“Sam, put the gun down,” said the man she’d just been fighting with. With a dubious glance the gun was lowered but not put away.

“Felicity, we just want to talk.” 

Felicity continued to back away and the man Andre, the only name she had for him though she doubted that was real, took a step forward. She forced back the wave of nausea.

“Talk? Comescu don’t talk.” She threw the knife in his direction near his feet and fled.

Her feet pounded on the pavement. A box, a low wall and a bin were used to get up to the grass strip behind that was easier to run on. Adrenaline surged through her body and pushed her faster. The end of this back alley behind the shops was where her aim was. She didn’t turn back to see if he was following. There wasn’t any point. He’d either catch her or not and turning around would only slow her down.  There were so many people at the end of the alley, if only she could get there, she could get lost. At least she hoped she could. What if he had more than just the one companion. The Comescu’s were cruel, powerful and well connected. Unrelenting. She remembered the fear in her father’s eyes when he’d told her to be vigilant and keep away from them or anything connected to them; the pain in his eyes when he’d told her they could never use their names again because it wasn’t safe, that the chance was too high that the traitor had told them everything. Even when her father had believed they were safe and could live without looking over their shoulder, that rule had always remained. Not that she’d ever truly stopped looking over her shoulder.

Her legs were burning, her mouth dry and her chest heaving. She slowed to a walk at the end of the alley and tried to get her breathing somewhat under control. A bus was coming and she moved hastily into the crowd that was waiting to get on. As she walked through the aisle she risked a glance out the window but couldn’t see any sign of either of the two men, nor of anyone who seemed like they were looking for someone. 

Her mind raced as the bus moved along the streets and its many stops. 

How?

Why?

What next?

Sometimes full thoughts formed but more often than not one half thought led to another and another. She changed buses randomly as she tried to figure out what to do. She hadn’t carried with her what she needed to run; partly because she couldn’t run very far without some form of new identification but mostly because she’d still felt there was some degree of safety as Marie Daniels. Marko had called her Marie but she’d trusted him that he wouldn’t give out more. He never did and name tags only ever revealed first names. So how did they find her today? Was it luck or did they know the name she was living under? He’d still called her Felicity but he’d been out the back of the shop. No. Somehow he’d found out about Marie Daniels and that didn’t bode well for her at all.

She had to go back to the apartment. Compromised or not, she had to take that chance. She didn’t have much in the way of choice. She needed the money for her new identity and to hide. The bank would have to wait even longer. She would have to make do with what she had in the safe. She mentally created a list of things she’d need to take. Ten minutes was the most she would need to throw some essential clothes in a bag, empty the safe of money and other prized possessions along with her two photos and essential precious books.  A large backpack and a smaller bag was all she’d walk away with. 

Ten minutes. As long as there was no one around. She didn’t know what she would do if someone was already there. She changed buses again, this time catching one on a route that would take her close enough to her apartment to walk the rest of the way. If they were there she’d just have to keep going and survive. One day at a time, one hour, one turn of a corner. Whatever it took until she could figure out what to do next, where to go. Marko maybe but she didn’t want to bring this danger to his footsteps. 

Unless she already had. Could that have been how they found her?  Was Marko already a victim?

Fear caused an increase in the tightening of her chest and throat. She couldn’t go back to him. Not after that thought. She rested her head against the cool of the bus window and watched the streets pass by, only lifting it when she started seeing the familiar streets near the apartment. Taking a slow calming breath she pressed the button to signal to the driver that she wanted to get off and rose from her seat.  The sooner this was over and she was moving again the better she would feel.

Felicity walked close to others, an attempt to blend in with the crowd, as she made her way through the streets to the quiet one that her apartment was on. The feeling of being watched was a constant but she refused to do anything to draw attention to herself by rushing. She kept her glances covert but couldn't see anyone following her. A small part of her wondered if she was just being paranoid. The rest of her figured otherwise considering she’d just escaped from someone she knew had most definitely been watching, looking for and following her.

She found a place to wait that gave her a view of her street and a chance to make sure she felt comfortable that there was nothing obviously out of place.  She crossed the street, making sure she did so with others, and glanced both ways checking the people there. No one seemed to be watching her but the feeling that someone was intensified. Her pace picked up a little as she walked up her street. Tension increased with every shadowy entrance or corner she passed. It settled when she was more than a few steps away from it and no one had appeared from them. Two doors down from her apartment entry she paused and looked around again. There was nothing and no one in the street she didn’t recognise. This time of day was usually very quiet, she knew because she’d spent time watching from her fire escape not only when she’d first arrived but randomly over her time here, learning who lived here and the normal movements of the street.  She felt a small amount of relief at that observation. 

There were two ways into her apartment. She contemplated going up the fire escape stairs instead except that would leave her exposed and if someone was actually hiding, waiting for her with a gun. Afterall, now she’d gotten away from her pursuers more than once perhaps they’d decided catching her wasn’t worth it. Her heart rate sped up at the thought. Normal entrance, more protection from that at least. She started to move again, breathing slowly and quietly, eyes peeled for anything unusual but still it all seemed like just a normal day, except it wasn’t, not for her. Sounds echoed easily in the stairwell of her building so she was careful as she moved quietly up the three flights before pausing at her door and listening. There were no sounds coming from inside so she slipped her key into the door and opened it. One step through with the door still open giving her a clear escape route, she looked around. The beauty of having such a sparsely decorated apartment and living alone meant that she knew exactly where everything was. Noting nothing was out of place she quickly closed the door and locked it securely with a barely audible sigh of relief.

Ten minutes, no more then she would be gone from here forever. She moved to the area sectioned off by a screen that was her bedroom, grabbed the backpack out of the closet and took off the long yellow skirt and white shirt that would make her stand out. Leaving them on the floor she pulled on a pair of black pants, a white shirt, kicked off her current shoes and put socks and trainers on. She grabbed a few essential items from the wardrobe and moved to her drawers, backpack in hand and tossed in handful of clothes from each drawer, leaving enough room for her few books and photos. She knelt down, pulled up the covers from her bed that hid the small safe under it. The contents she put into the small bag that had its place right beside it for this very purpose. Adding to it what was in her small handbag she was done.  She rose and turned to leave the room only to freeze when she saw him standing in her doorway.

“Going somewhere?” he asked quietly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Callen's POV

“You okay?” 

“I’m good Kenz. Just a scratch.” Callen ignored the expression on Sam’s face and looked up at the building. It wasn’t much. A simple basic apartment building in a quiet back street. Sound enough looking and well kept. No sign of graffiti or anything else that would suggest the area wasn’t safe.  Just like he’d thought. She’d want somewhere safe and quiet. 

“Sam, you and Deeks watch for her out here. Kenz, you’re with me.” Callen told them. 

“G?” Sam looked at him.

“I need her to not run. Maybe with Kenz there she’ll feel a little less scared.”

“You saying my partner isn’t scary?” Deeks asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

Kensi elbowed him.

Callen smiled. “It’s not that she can’t be.” He wasn’t one to doubt Kensi’s abilities. “It’s that she can look less intimidating than Sam.” And he wasn’t about to make the same mistake again.

Sam nodded and Callen continued. 

“Eric’s still tracking her movements and he’ll let us know once she’s headed this way. Keep out of sight.”

“She’s on alert,” Sam added. “I didn’t get to talk to her. She saw me and ran. I guarantee if she sees anyone or anything strange, she’ll be gone.” 

Callen looked at their two cars. “These can’t stay. Move them somewhere else, then keep watch. Deeks once she’s inside, cover the fire escape down here. Sam, make your way up them quietly. Deeks will back you up if she gets by you.” He hoped they wouldn’t have to do anything and that between him and Kensi, they could get through to her.

Callen glanced up to the third floor. “From what Nell has found out there only the front door to the apartment and the fire escape out. Kenz, you will stop her getting out the front door. I’ll make her listen this time.” 

There wasn’t a choice. He didn’t like that it had come to this but he’d couldn’t let her live with thinking the Comescu’s were coming for her. He was responsible for her current state of fear. He’d made a mistake at the shop. It might’ve made the world of difference if he’d sent Kensi in instead of Sam. Though it was possible that after the restaurant anything out of the ordinary was going to send her running.  

“Got it.” Sam nodded.

“Callen, do you really think she knows you?” Kensi asked.

Callen shrugged. “Maybe. What I do know is she’s scared, my fault, and thinks we’re Comescu. I want to clear that up. We’ll see about the rest after.” 

If he could at least do that perhaps the heavy guilt that had settled on his shoulders after this morning at the shop would lift. It was one thing to hunt down a bad guy and have them fear what was coming. But she wasn’t one of the bad guys. She was afraid and he could fix that if only she would listen and trust him one more time. Unfortunately that meant cornering her and making sure she couldn’t slip away, which was more than likely going to initially scare her yet again. He hoped Kensi’s presence would help in some way.

Sam and Deeks nodded and headed off. Callen and Kensi entered the building. At Felicity’s front door Callen let Kensi use her skills to pick the lock, while he stood watch.

“There’s nowhere really safe out here to hide,” Sam’s voice came through the earwigs. “We’re gonna to watch from the cars at either end of the street and then come down once she’s in the building.”

“As long as she doesn’t see you.”

“We’ll be careful G,” Sam assured him.

Callen glanced around.  It was a studio apartment with a dividing screen separating the bed from the main living area. Not a whole lot of space. There was a small dining table, with only room for two. A couch and a chair, plus a TV. A stereo system sat on a three shelf bookcase beside a couple of photos. He stepped over and looked at the oldest one. A man, a woman and a child in an old style sepia photo. He stared at it for a moment trying to figure out whether anyone in it was familiar. The child barely looked two. He guessed it must be Felicity and her parents. There was something about the man in it but nothing strong enough and it was probably more that Callen was looking for something that wasn’t there. There was a second photo of a man, woman and a young boy. The woman was definitely Felicity. The man and child logically were her husband and son. The boy caught his attention and when he looked a little closer he could see that he had the same eyes as his mother. He knew those eyes. The familiar pale green and happy, but without the haunted look that was present in the photo from Nell or the fear that he hadn’t seen out of her eyes since she’d woken up that morning.

“Look at the books Callen.” Kensi’s comment pulled Callen’s attention from the boy in the photo. “Odd,” she added. 

They both looked but didn’t touch. The books were about dream interpretation, visions and Romani myth and history books.  Not a novel on the shelf. The dream interpretation ones seemed to have been used recently as they were placed flat rather than upright as the others were.

“Maybe,” Callen said with a shrug. “Depends.” He’d been researching Romani history and culture since he’d returned from Romania with Hetty. There was a history of people having premonitions, visions of past and future. He wasn’t saying he believed it but there was enough in the books to suggest there was something to it. 

“She’s coming,” Eric’s voice interrupted. “She’s just gotten off a bus two blocks from where the video surveillance will end and heading toward you.”

“How long do you think we have Eric?” Callen asked.

“Five minutes until she’ll be at the apartment at a normal walking place. I’d cut off a minute of that just in case she runs.”

“Sam, Deeks,” Callen said, “You good?”

“We’re good,” Sam replied quietly. “Got both ends of the street covered G. She won’t see us.”

“Callen? How do you want to do this?” Kensi asked. “There’s not much room to hide.”

Callen studied the apartment. From the front door you couldn’t see the kitchen. It was that or the bathroom but the kitchen seemed the safest location. If the bathroom door squeaked at all, she’d know they were there before they were in place to make sure she didn’t run.

“Kitchen,” he told her. “We wait until she closes and locks the door and then see what she does.” Callen un-holstered his gun. “If she goes to the bedroom area first you cover the door and I’ll follow her. Otherwise we’ll have to move it fast to stop her getting out.”

Callen handed Kensi his gun and she frowned.

“Better this way Kenz.” Callen continued to remove his back up gun and knife and gave them to her as well. “If she sees the gun there’s not a chance she’ll trust me that she’s safe. Best not to pull yours either.”

Callen knew the only way he stood a chance of proving anything to her was if he could make her feel safe with him again.

* * *

 

“Going somewhere?” Callen tried to keep his voice as gentle and non-confrontational as possible as he stood in the space between the wall and the edge of the dividing screen and waited. What little colour that was left in her face drained from it and that weight on his shoulders increased.

“I…”

“I’m sorry I’ve scared you,” he said. “I’m not here to hurt you.” He took two steps closer and held out his arms straight. “Check. I have no weapons.”

Felicity frowned, confusion mingling with the fear on her face. “Why are you following me? Why won’t you leave me alone? What do you want?”

“I need to talk to you.” Callen kept his voice as calm and reassuring as he could. “But you need to feel safe, so come. Check. I’ve got nothing to hurt you with.”

“Your hands.”

It came out in barely more than a whisper and Callen felt a stab of something in his chest at her being that fearful of him. 

“I promise.” Callen kept his hands up, arms out as his eyes stayed on her and he remained perfectly still. She moved slowly to him, a stiffness to her movements that showed the tension in her. When she lifted her hands to his arms he noticed they were trembling. An urge to pull her safely into his arms almost floored him but he didn’t do anything. Her hands were gentle as they slid over his arms. Extra careful he noted when she went over his bandaged arm. They went down his chest, over the waistband of his jeans and then she crouched to check his legs and ankles. He was grateful that he’d divested himself of all his weapons. He honestly hadn’t expected her to search him quite this well. 

“Finished?” he asked as he focused on what he was here to do and pushed the thoughts of their night together, which flared when her hands came up the insides of his legs; much closer than he thought they needed too.

Felicity shook her head and her hands went to his belt. Callen frowned. She noticed.

“It’s a weapon too,” she said. There was a flicker of a different type of fear in her eyes as she spoke and he simply nodded. If this is what it took to make her feel safe, so be it.  She tossed the belt to the far side of the room and moved around him. Her hands ran over his back and shoulders and down to the waistband of his jeans. 

“I’m not -”

A hard shove in the middle of his back and a foot between his legs had him tumbling onto the bed. Callen rolled off and followed quickly to find her frozen just outside the bedroom door with Kensi standing right in front of the front door, no gun. Just her hands out to show she had no weapons, and one held her badge open. 

“It’s okay,” Kensi said gently. “We’re Federal agents. We’re not here to hurt you.”

Felicity spun around and backed away as she stared at Callen. The look in her eyes reminded him of what a cornered wild animal might have. He held up his hands.

“Please,” he begged. “Just hear us out. We are not who you think.”

Her eyes flicked to the door to the fire escape. 

Callen shook his head. “It’s covered too.” If only she could trust him like she had the other night. If only he could get through to her she wouldn’t need to feel the fear that he could almost see radiating in waves off her.

Felicity whimpered and that urge to protect her came over Callen again.

“You’re safe. I promise,” he repeated.

She shook her head and her eyes shined with tears. 

“They’re dead. The Comescu’s are dead,” Callen said. “They are not coming after you anymore. We are not them.”

“Words. Just words.” And hers were indeed filled with distrust and fear.

“I can prove it. I need you to trust me, just a little. Give us a chance.”

Callen watched as tears spilled from her eyes and she reached one hand behind her to hold onto the couch for support. He took a step closer but stopped and stepped back again when her eyes widened and her breath shuddered. He had to find a way to reach her, gain her trust or she would run anyway.

“They killed my mother,” Callen could hear the small amount of pain in his voice and hoped the admission would help make some connection with her. “The Comescu’s. They killed her.”

Felicity stared at him for a moment, something flickering in her eyes though he couldn’t quite place it in the swirl of other emotions that were there. Perhaps sympathy, compassion, understanding maybe. It was better than the fear.

“Be grateful if that’s all they did,” she said in a strained yet soft voice.

Grateful?  Why the hell should he be grateful that they’d taken his mother away from him.

“Grateful?” he fired back at her, a brief moment of lost control that showed with the anger in his tone.  “They killed-” his entire family line, except what she said cut him off and the words died in his throat.

“They killed everyone,” Felicity all but screamed at him. “My village, my camp whatever you want to call it,” she added in only a slightly less forceful tone. “They came with guns.” Her hands ran through her hair and her bottom lip trembled, her eyes locked on his. “I remember the screams. Screams of men … women.” She swallowed. “Children.” Her voice wasn’t much more of a whisper with that word.  

More tears fell but even with the urge to comfort her Callen stayed perfectly still. Something had changed with her. Maybe she trusted him, maybe not, but she was talking and wasn’t running. That was a least a start though what she was saying had a feeling of dread stirring in his stomach. From his research he knew that the camps could hold anywhere from just a few families to hundreds of people. 

“Anyone not fast enough to get away was slaughtered,” she continued. “My father and I fled with just the clothes on our backs, our travelling cloaks and a bag he had already had packed.” Her head shook slowly and her arms wrapped around her body while the words continued to come, like a dam wall breaking and letting long held back water flow. “I’d never seen him use force with our horse before but he did whatever it took to get that horse to run up the hill and through the trees away from them.” A shudder shook her as she continued. “Screams and gunfire. It felt like it was all around us. I could hear it even over the sounds of the horse’s hooves, the pounding of my heart and the rush of blood in my ears. When we finally reached the top of hill we looked back. Flames where our home, where our life had been.” A sob fell from her lips. “And still they were screaming. So many screams.” She closed her eyes. “I never saw any of them again.” 

Her eyes opened and locked with his. Callen saw so much pain in them it hurt to look at but he didn’t look away. She was trusting him with this and he wasn’t going to let her down. 

“I was five years old and all of the people I knew in my life,” Her words were filled with the pain that he’d seen in her eyes, so strong and raw, as if she was feeling it for the first time and time hadn’t dulled it. “Gone,” she whispered. “There were forty families in our camp. All gone. The children I had played with. The adults who had helped my father look after me after my mother died. All because we looked after them.”

“After who?” As desperate as Callen was to find something more about his childhood he dreaded to think that this was because of them. He felt sick to the stomach at how many were killed. Forty families could mean well over a hundred people in her camp.

“Enemies of theirs.” Felicity shook her head.  “Though how innocent children can be enemies I don’t know. Everything gone because of kindness that didn’t fit with what they wanted. Because we helped one of our own to find safety for herself and her family. They killed everyone.”

“They’re gone.” His voice was low and Callen blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes too, her pain reaching over and tearing at him. “I promise.” But she wasn’t done.

Her head dropped, she sniffed and swiped at some tears. “My father. He died of heart failure just three weeks after he’d been told by doctors that he had the internal body of a thirty five year old. He was sixty five. Nothing wrong with him at all. My son. The driver and car were never found.”

“Your son Grisha?”  

She frowned. “My son Gregory.”

“You think the Comescu’s killed them?” If Grisha wasn’t her son then that brought him back into the equation. Could it be him? Could she know him? Was it possible she could answer questions about his past? He wasn’t sure after everything he’d just heard that he wanted her Grisha to be him but there was a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he was.

“I can’t prove it,” she said, “but, yes. They don’t leave anything undone.”

“Then why are you still alive?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered. 

Callen shook off the feeling that the tone in her words hinted she wished she wasn’t. With a sense of trepidation he asked the question that had been burning in him for answers since she’d first said the name.

“Who’s Grisha?” 

It took her a few moments before she raised her head again and answered. 

“My friend,” she whispered and Callen could hear the pain in her words. “My truest friend. I looked in his eyes the first time I met him and I knew him. I saw his soul and knew him. A beautiful, loving, brave and kind soul. A good, very good soul. And they killed him too.” Her words broke and the tears fell faster. Callen didn’t understand what she meant by seeing his soul but she sounded so confident. “He was so young,” she continued. “With so much to offer.” Her fingers brushed away the tears from her cheeks and her breath came in shaky bursts.

“They’re gone,” Callen said. “The Comescu’s are gone, I promise.” At the very least he could assure her of that and he’d repeat it to her as often as she needed him to.

“How can I trust you?” There was something in her voice, like she desperately wanted to believe him, but Callen guessed she’d been living with the fear of them finding her for so long it would be hard to let go. Hard to let the freedom that came with the knowledge he could give her in.

“You did the other night,” Callen replied. He noticed the slight blush come into her cheeks. “No more running.” Callen stepped closer, one step at a time, checking for her reaction. She didn’t back away, she didn’t flinch. She just watched him. He lifted his hand slowly to cup her cheek, just the one hand. He felt the warmth of the skin, the wetness of the tears on her cheeks and the subtle shift of her head as she moved into his touch. An unconscious movement on her part he thought. He kept his gaze on her and their eyes locked. The shimmering of tears was nearly his undoing. The urge to pull her into his arms and hold her was almost overwhelming yet again. What was it about her that brought out this in him? 

“Give me a chance and I can prove it. You’re safe,” he assured her once again. His thumb brushed gently over her cheek as he repeated it. “You’re safe.”

Felicity frowned, confusion strong in her eyes and Callen was pleased to see that the fear had subsided somewhat. “Who are you?” she whispered, a desperation in her voice.

Callen took a slow breath. His instincts told him who he was, as much as he didn’t want to be connected with what she had just told him. He just needed her to confirm it. “Grisha.”

He caught her before she fell to the floor.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that italics are flashbacks, and there are a couple of different changes to POV but I think it's clear who it's from as you read it so I haven't made any notes pointing to that so as not to distract from the flow of the story.  
> Enjoy

* * *

 

_ “Fi!” _

_ She heard his voice and her legs moved faster. She felt the brush of the long grass against her legs and knees, the occasional scratch from a stem or leaf, a sharp stone under her bare foot slicing into it. She ignored it all and didn’t stop running. _

_ “Grisha!” She screamed. “It’s a wolf!” _

_ She almost ran into him when she reached the edge of the meadow. Her heart pounding in her chest, fear almost overwhelming her. She’d never been chased by one before. They’d always stayed away, watched her but never came close. _

_ “Fi, it’s okay. There’s nothing there.” Somehow Grisha held them upright as her momentum threatened to tumble them both to the ground. _

_ “But...” She turned around and looked the way she had come. There was no sign of the wolf in the field behind her. _

_ “It was. I swear there was one,” she sobbed.  She turned back to him and stared into his gentle blue eyes. She felt the hot tears fall down her cheeks, her heart was still pounding, her breath coming in harsh bursts. _

_ “You’re safe, Fi. You’re safe.” His arms wrapped around her and she clung to him.  _

_ Oh yes. As small as those arms were she knew she was safe. She would always be safe with him. _

* * *

Felicity opened her eyes to see his eyes, Grisha’s eyes. But it wasn’t possible. He was dead.  A small shred of doubt started to form and with it a spark of hope. Wasn’t he? Then she registered the safety of the arms. So very safe.

“No,” she whispered. “My Grisha is dead.” The pain flooded through her that had always been there when she thought of her friend’s death. “They killed him. Him, his sister, his mother. They killed them all.” A flash of a woman, a beach and a gun, but it didn’t last long enough to make sense of. 

“Only my mother,” he told her. 

The woman? His mother?  The vision didn’t stay long enough to be able to identify who the woman had been.

Felicity shifted out of his arms and moved just a fraction away from him on the couch she was now on. She couldn’t think clearly. Hope, pain, confusion mingled together within her. There were too many images firing through her mind to make sense of any of them; a mix of her own and others - his she assumed, whoever he was. 

Was he Grisha? She didn’t want to let her heart hope that her friend hadn’t met such a horrible fate. If she did and he wasn’t then she’d feel it so much worse. Strangely the small shift away from him caused a physical ache in the vicinity of her heart. His arms dropped and gave her space but he didn’t move. The images cleared and she was able to identify the pain - loss. Loss of security and safety, and a feeling of being alone again. Being in his arms felt so safe. Like when she thought the wolf still after her. Like Grisha’s little arms had felt oh so long ago.

She lifted her gaze and stared into his eyes. “You can’t be ... can you?” The blue, the gentleness, so familiar but from when? Their night together or another time and place? Grisha’s eyes? Could he be him? The spark flared a little more.  

Maybe. The eyes were so like his. Older, more world weary but still. If she was brave she would be able to tell. All she had to do was look deep through those eyes to his soul. It took a lot for a soul to change. She would know for sure in just a moment. But she wasn’t brave enough, not after last time. She’d have to find another way to be sure.

She reached out and touched his cheek, rested her trembling fingers against it. “Grisha?” The name fell softly from her lips and she let her fingers gently stroke his cheek. Rough but maybe. A familiarity she couldn’t be certain didn’t simply come from their night together. But then she could almost see the little boy she once knew in him.

She watched his eyes close, his head tilt into her hand and felt his breath drift over her fingers.

 

* * *

_ “Grisha, it’s okay.” The little girl touched his cheek. “We can get more,” she told him in a soft reassuring voice that fitted her so well.  _

_ Grisha looked down at the ruined flowers that had fallen into the mud when he had tripped. Once beautiful, now crushed and muddy. He’d been happy, excited. It was the first time he’d picked flowers for his mother since they’d arrived. He so wanted to see his mother smile again. It felt like forever since she had. The little girl held out her hand and he placed his in hers. His friend already, even though they’d only known each other a few days. He trusted her. He stood up and she led him back toward the field of flowers again. _

* * *

Felicity waited and when his eyes opened he looked shocked. His next words were uttered barely above a whisper. “You took me to pick flowers for my mother.” He lifted his hand and covered hers that was still on his cheek.

Her eyes went wide. Her heart skipped a beat, or maybe more. Her breath stuttered.

“I fell,” he continued his voice stronger even with a shine hinted at in his eyes. “They got ruined in the mud. You touched my cheek like this and said we could get more.”

A sob fell from her lips. No one else had been there, just the two of them. Is it possible he was right here in front of her? Alive? That spark became a flame.

“Who are you?” he asked her. “What is your name?”

“Felicity.” Her reply automatic, ingrained into her for so long to answer to the name she’d given whoever she was with.

He shook his head. “Not that one.”

Her heart pounded and her throat constricted. Fear responses normally, but not this time. This time it was something else. Hope maybe. Anticipation. Freedom. 

He said she was safe. She knew in the depths of her own soul that she was safe with him. She’d felt the safety in his arms just now just like she had the night they’d spent together. She never would’ve gone with him if she hadn’t, no matter how strong the attraction had been.

The Comescu’s used fear to control people. They weren’t to be trusted. Could they have lied? 

He said they were gone, that she didn’t have to fear them anymore.

If she wasn’t brave enough to trust herself to look into his soul, her heart was all that she had left. Her heart told her to trust him. Her hand was still held to his cheek by his, neither having broken the connection it created.

“Sofia,” she whispered. For the first time since they’d fled from their home she finally said her name. “Sofia Elena-Maria.” Oh how wonderful it was to say her mother’s name again. “Antoneanu.” 

 

* * *

_ The little girl was running next to him, smiling as they jumped over a log. He smiled back just before she sped off into a field of flowers. She was fast. “Fi!” he called out as he tried to catch her. “Wait.” How could someone so small be so quick? _

_ “Come on Grisha,” she called to him over her shoulder. “I want to get flowers for your mother.” _

* * *

Callen blinked the flash of memory from his eyes and stared at her. 

“Fi?” he whispered.

Suddenly she was in his arms.

“It is you,” she cried softly. 

Callen arms tightened around her. He knew her. He remembered. The feel of her arms around him. But not from the other night but from a long time ago. Little arms around a little body. 

Tears filled his eyes, hatred roared through him at what the Comescu’s had done to her because of this damn blood feud. So many more people had died because of their revenge than just his family. He knew they were beyond bad. Knew the things they were involved in were truly awful. They’d attempted to take out his entire line after all; had taken delight in wiping them from the earth. Vance and Hetty had told him more, but he hadn’t expected this kind of brutality, horror or evil. 

She pulled back and cupped his face. Her smile trembled but was bright and brought an unexpected warmth to him. “You … how…?” She stumbled over the words, tears fell, her body shuddered a little. 

“Shh,” Callen said. “It’s okay.” He brushed the tears gently from her cheeks.

“How did you get away?”

“I don’t remember,” he admitted.

“But they said...” She trailed off.

“What?” Callen prompted gently even though he didn’t think he wanted to know but he felt she needed to tell someone.

“They sent messages to the other camps. Said that they had killed their enemies. Warned that anyone hiding survivors from ours would meet the same fate we did if they didn’t hand us over.”

Callen closed his eyes and breathed slowly to help settle the fury he felt. He didn’t want her to see it. It wasn’t for her and he didn’t want her to think for a moment it was. “How did you get here? How did they not find you?” he asked.

“We travelled for weeks, maybe months I’m not sure. We avoided camps the best we could but sometimes we had no choice, especially when it was so cold. Papa was sure those in the camps knew who we were, but we never said our names and they never asked.” There as a small flicker of a smile on her lips. “Almost like they liked the idea of getting one over on them. We kept moving, rarely staying anywhere more than a night until Papa finally found a way to bring us here. Even then we moved frequently, no more than two years in one spot. For a while he was always ready to go, spare identity and all, just in case, but they never seemed to come after us. At some point we felt safer and relaxed a little, though I could never stop looking over my shoulder. Never felt safe to stop watching.”

“Then your son.”

She sighed, closed her eyes nodded. Tears slipped out from beneath her eyelids before she opened them again. “Papa wasn’t convinced that it had anything to do with them. I tried to move on, let it go but I was afraid who would be next.”

“You divorced to save your husband.”

“Yes,” she admitted. “I couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to him. I thought if we distanced ourselves from him, he’d be safe.”

“You loved him.” 

“In a way. He was a kind, gentle and loving man.” She smiled. “A wonderful father. He was safe. I didn’t fall in love with him like I dreamed I would, but I did love him.”

“Your son’s name?”

“Gregory.”

“Grisha?”

She smiled sadly and shook her head. “I wish. Jonathon chose our son’s name. His grandfather’s name. It meant a lot to him and I hated that I couldn’t tell him why it meant a lot to me too.”

Felicity shifted closer. Her gaze caught his and she stared into his eyes. Callen stared back unsure how long she was looking at him. It felt like she was seeing right through him.

“It really is you,” she whispered. “Still beautiful and brave, kind and caring.” Her hand reached up to his face again. “Though a little lost in this world. A very good soul. Grisha, oh how I’ve missed you.”

“How do you know me? What are you seeing?” 

“You. The truth. Your soul.”

“How?” Callen asked.

“A gift from my great grandmother. One I have desperately begged to give back along with seeing the past.”

“You see the past?” Kensi asked.

Callen jerked. He’d forgotten she was there.

“In a way,” Felicity said, her eyes still on him. “My great Grandmother was much better at it. I guess you would’ve called her, us, a witch or a seer, psychic maybe.” She glanced at Kensi. “Or perhaps a charlatan. You’re skeptical.”

“A little,” Kensi replied and Callen noted the gentleness Kensi kept in her voice. A good choice, for once in his search for Felicity, bringing Kensi with him this time.

“You disagree with the kind of man Grisha is?”

“No,” Kensi smiled. “You’ve described him well. But you’ve been scared of him, thinking he was Comescu. How are you so sure now?”

“Kenz, let it go for now.” Felicity didn’t need this on top of everything. She could answer questions like that later when the emotion had settled and she’d rested. He could see how tired she was.

“No Grisha.” She shook her head and squeezed his hand that Callen wasn’t quite sure when she’d taken but it felt comfortable. Right almost. Just like her calling him by his name. 

“She’s right to question,” she said. “When you don’t grow up with it it seems strange, mystical, unbelievable. I don’t know how I can prove it though.”

Kensi didn’t say anything else but before Callen could stop the direction of the conversation Felicity, or should that be Sofia, continued.

“I see my past,” She dropped her hand and stood up as she spoke. “I feel it as if it were happening for the first time. Memories, emotions, they are so strong, so clear to me. Sometimes I feel it’s more a curse than a gift.  There are times when I see other people’s pasts. I try not to. It’s like an invasion of privacy, certainly not something I’d want someone to do to me, but sometimes they just come. It’s a gift that has a mind of its own though practice probably would’ve given me more control. The combination of seeing the truth of someone’s soul and their memories is not always a good thing.” A shiver went through her and Callen noticed.

“What happened?” Callen asked gently.

“I looked into the eyes of killer and saw his soul. The connection brought images of what he had done.” Felicity shuddered and Callen rose to move closer. “I can’t forget what I saw and I prefer not to risk it if I have a choice. It’s the drawback to these gifts.” 

Perhaps that was where the other fear had come from earlier when she’d referenced both his hands and his belt as a weapon. Callen couldn’t help but wonder how she didn’t shudder at what she saw in him. He’d killed too. He’d lost count a long time ago of how many times. But she hadn’t reacted badly. Maybe he was a better man than he thought after all.

“Have you seen anything from my past?” The question slipped passed Callen’s lips before he could stop it.

Felicity looked up at him. “The other night. When I touched your scars.” Her hand reached out and brushed his chest in one of the places that the five bullets had slammed into him. “The ones from the bullets,” she continued, “I saw it happen.” Callen vaguely remembered something flash across her face, a brief stiffening to her body.

“You were on a corner near the beach, there was a dark blue van, a man with a gun and a hail storm of bullets. White shirt, jeans and a distinct smell of oranges from the fruit stand behind you.”

Callen heard Kensi’s soft gasp of shock. His heart raced a little and he focused intently on her for any sign of her being afraid of him. “You really saw that?” 

She nodded. “I tried not to but it was there so quickly. I’m sorry.”

Callen shook his head. “It’s okay.” He stepped closer, tempted to put his hand on her shoulders but he didn’t. He’d leave that up to her to decide if she wanted to make the connection again.

“Do you believe me? That you’re safe?” he asked her. “That they’re gone?”

She looked up into his eyes and smiled. “Yes. Though I wouldn’t mind seeing the proof that you mentioned.”

Callen glanced at Kensi. “Call Hetty.” He looked back at Felicity. He’d stick with that for now and wait for her to decide what name she want to go buy. “Time for this fear to end once and for all.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

 

Callen stood beside Sofia. The sun had just started to peek over the horizon giving a orange glow to the sky. The waves gently broke over their bare feet before receding and there was still a chill in the air.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve felt truly safe,” Sofia said quietly, her gaze focused out on the water. “After we fled, we were in a constant state of fear and uncertainty.” She paused for a moment. “Looking and listening to every sight and sound as if it was someone coming, hunting us.  Wondering whether we could trust the person in front of us. I don’t think I slept unless I was completely exhausted and in Papa’s arms.”

Sofia rubbed her upper arms with her hands and Callen shifted closer. He angled his body to put himself between her and the slight breeze that had picked up. Close enough that his body almost touched hers. He felt her shift into him, just the slightest amount that spoke volumes and closed the distance that he’d left.

The expression ‘the truth will set you free’ had never been so clear to Callen than it was right now. Yesterday she’d been terrified of him. Now she was here at the beach with him, alone. She’d allowed him to spend the night at her apartment, actually asked him to stay. Callen had suspected she was afraid that she’d wake up and think it was all a dream. So he’d stayed, slept on the surprisingly comfortable, if a little short, couch.

Yesterday everything had changed.

They both finally knew who the other really was. Her friend was no longer dead, she no longer had to run and he knew a small amount more about his childhood. He’d gained a friend he didn’t know he’d lost yet somehow her presence back in his life filled a gap he hadn’t realised existed within him. Hetty had come bearing a laptop with all things pertaining to the demise of the Comescu’s to help Sofia truly understand it was over and she was safe. By the time they had gone through it Sofia had almost been falling asleep at the table.

They’d both woken before the sun rose; him normal, her because of how early she’d actually gone to sleep the night before. The previous days of disturbed and minimal sleep had finally caught up with Sofia, or perhaps it was that she’d finally felt safe enough to sleep.

“I don’t know how long we were on the boat but it felt like forever,” Sofia continued. “I wanted it to be forever. After a while I’d started to feel a little safe, started sleeping without needing Papa.”

The breeze caught her hair and swept it across her face. She reached out for it before Callen could. He stayed quiet and listened. She was ready to talk. He was willing to listen. Her world had been shattered because of him, it was the least he could do.

“There was no land in sight and all the people were familiar.” Sofia glanced up at him and there was a sadness in her eyes, but the fear was gone. “They were fleeing like us or responsible for taking us somewhere safe. The crew were kind to us.” She smiled. “I know now we were lucky in that respect. It didn’t even cross my mind how much danger there was from a boat in the middle of the ocean with no way to call for help. I just knew that …” Her breath shuddered, “they … couldn’t reach us.”

Callen put his arm around her shoulder, an offer of comfort, perhaps even an attempt to give her something physical to remind her she had nothing to fear from them anymore. Thoughts of what the Comescu’s had done to her world he suspected would affect her for a long time to come but at least she knew in her head that she was safe. Her heart and emotions might take a little time to catch up. Sofia took a steadying breath and her head dropped to rest against his shoulder bringing her body into his more. His arm tightened and a warmth bloomed inside him at the trust that movement showed him.

“One morning we woke up,” she said, “and everyone was so excited. The commotion and the noise when we came up from below, it’s scared me but it was contagious. I started to feel excited too.” Her voice dropped lower. “Then I saw it ... They were excited because they saw land.” She took a breath and let it out slowly. “Instantly that excitement was gone. Land meant them. I couldn’t comprehend that we’d sailed somewhere else. Land was land and they were on land. I was terrified. The closer we got the more I clung to Papa. When the boat docked I honestly thought he was scared too. He was shaking.” Sofia lifted her head and looked at him with a sheen of tears making her eyes shine. “It wasn’t him. It was me. I was the one shaking.” Her gaze drifted back out to sea. “I clung to him so tight,” she said quietly. “Every new face was a threat and there were so many new threats.”

“But you were safe,” Callen tightened his hold just a little at the small tremor he felt go through her that had nothing to do with the breeze. “You hadn’t gone back. You were somewhere far away.” What she just told him confirmed the story from Arkady’s contact - a little girl with her eyes, terrified and shaking in her father’s arms.

Sofia nodded. “It took me a while to figure that out. We stayed with this lovely family. They taught us English, how to blend in, what not to do. I think we were with them for about three months, hidden at their farm. When I could finally speak without an accent and Papa was doing well enough we got go to our new life. Being on the smaller side they changed my age, made me a little younger.”

“What’s your real birthday?” In Callen’s memories of them, as young as they were, she was smaller than him. He remembered looking down at her even then.

She smiled. “I’m only a little younger than you. March 26 1970. They made it so that my mother died in childbirth. People tend to avoid asking questions when tragedy is involved. The most we ever stayed in one place, until Jonathon, was two years. Always moving, watchful, afraid they’d find us. A couple of times we moved somewhere that had an unexpectedly strong Romani population. We didn’t stay long then. Papa still remembered the warnings we’d heard as we fled. He didn’t want to risk them figuring out who we were and telling the ... them where we were.”

Her head dropped forward, her hand went to the back of her neck to rub it and Callen felt another tremor go through her. He turned Sofia gently to face him, cupped her chin and lifted her head. Her eyes were full of tears.

“They stole so much,” Sofia whispered. “And now,” She smiled though it was a little shaky and a tear slipped from each eye. “Now I’m safe. Free for the first time in so long. And I don’t quite know what to do with myself.”

“You’ll figure it out. You’re not alone.”

“Oh Grisha, we missed so much. Why would they be so cruel? So vile? So...” It was like she didn’t know what word to use to describe them. It was understandable.

“I don’t know.”

Even with what he had witnessed in his line of work Callen couldn’t comprehend why the Comescu’s had done what they had to her camp and the people there. Sofia knew the origins of the blood feud; it had been discussed last night. She didn’t blame him for what had happened. Callen wasn’t sure he didn’t blame himself though, as irrational as it was to think he could have made any impact on what the Comescu’s had done to them, or anyone. There was a guilt, as undeserved as it was, that lingered over what she had lost because of his family. But she was slowly planning on taking back what she could. Starting with her name. She wanted to be Sofia again. It was easy enough to call her that and think of her that way, after all he’d known her longer that way, even if he didn’t remember it all. The details of the official process to take her life back were something that would be discussed later and come in time.

“Do you know how they knew where my mother was? Where we were?” Callen asked. Last night had been about assuring Sofia she was safe. He had so many questions.

“From what Papa told me once, your mother brought you and Amy to us when your father was imprisoned. She needed to hide somewhere safe until she could figure out how to reach her contacts. So we took her in. You arrived just before my birthday.” She smiled at him. “And were with us about six months when your mother was finally able to make a connection with a contact. Some of our men helped her get messages out and finally someone reached back.”

Sofia turned to look back out at the water but her body still stayed within his personal space, and surprisingly it occurred to Callen that he didn’t actually mind her being there. She didn’t feel like she was crowding him or forcing her way in. It was different to what he normally felt when someone was this close. There was nothing overwhelming about it. It just felt right. Perhaps when he remembered more of their time together as children he’d find that it was normal for them to be close.

“Not long after that,” Sofia continued, “two of our men had gone into the small town near our camp to check for another message. One overheard the other,” a hardness had settled into her voice taking Callen by surprise, “talking to someone about you all; where to find you, all of us really. It terrified him when he witnessed money changing hands so since he had the message for your mother, the meeting point and time, he fled back in the darkness with both horses, leaving the traitor behind. He wanted to warn us all. I’m not sure when he arrived but by the time I got up and came to find you so we could pick flowers,” Her voice broke a little then, “you were all gone and the camp was in a rush to leave.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “There just wasn’t enough time.”

Sofia turned and looked up at him. Callen brushed the tears from her cheeks. “If he hadn’t come back when he did, you’d have still been there.”

“Who took us away? Do you know?”

Sofia shook her head. “No I don’t. Papa didn’t tell me. But it would’ve been on horses, that much I can work out. Probably some of the men who had been trusted to help your mother with the messages.”

* * *

 

_Grisha looked across at his mother, her face just visible with the pre dawn lightening of the sky. She looked back at him from the horse running next to his. A strong arm was wrapped around him keeping him safe. Another horse was on the other side of his mother. Amy was looking at him with fear in her eyes from the arms of a familiar man who was keeping her safe on the horse._

_Grisha looked back to his mother._

_“Mama?”_

_“We’ll be safe soon. I promise. Just hold on my beautiful boy. Just hold on.” He heard the fear in her voice and shuddered._

* * *

 

“Two men, three horses,” Callen told her quietly as the memory faded. “She was scared but said we were going somewhere to be safe.” Callen brushed some hair back from Sofia’s face. Just a flash, barely anything to go by but he had finally heard his mother’s voice. Now if only he could hear it without the fear, that would be a memory he would cherish.

“She was wonderful.” Sofia smiled. “I … almost wished she was mine except...”

“Except?”

Sadness and pain shifted over Sofia’s features. “I remember my mother.” She took a steadying breath. “No one could possibly replace her, not even someone like yours.”

“I wish I remembered her.” More than just remembering her smile right before she was shot. “You were so young though, how do you…” Callen stopped. He knew how.  “Your memories are clear right back aren’t they?” Her mother had died when she was two.

Sofia nodded and closed her eyes as he brushed away more tears. “I couldn’t tell Papa I remembered her,” her voice breaking slightly with her words.

“Why not?”

“It would hurt him too much.” Her eyes opened and Sofia looked at him. “Not even with my own father could I truly be myself. I managed to keep it from him until we were already here about the way I remembered things. When he eventually realised he was worried. So I told him things from early on were a blur, that I didn’t remember her, barely remembered us fleeing. I’m not entirely sure he believed that particular bit. It was all I could do to protect him after everything he’d done to protect me.” Sofia’s smile brightened and a sparkle of something other than tears shone in her eyes. “You, my dear Grisha, you were the only one who really knew me. My true friend. One I was free to be me with.” Her voice gentled. “Only you knew the truth about the flowers.”

* * *

 

_“Fi?” Grisha reached out to the little girl who was kneeling among the flowers in the meadow. He heard her sob again saw her little body shake. “Fi, what is it?”_

_Sofia turned and he saw the tears falling from her eyes. “Why are you crying?” he asked, worried that she was hurt._

_“I miss my Mama,” Sofia whispered. Grisha noticed the grip on the flowers and he knew._

_“They’re not for my mama are they?”_

_Sofia shook her head. “Please don’t tell Papa,” her little voice begged desperately._

_“I won’t.”_

* * *

 

“They were for your mother not mine.” Another memory to add to his collection. A sad one yes, but another bit of proof of the young friendship that they had. His memories were coming back the more time he spent with her. It gave him hope that it would continue and he'd remember more of what was most likely a happy time in his young life, even if it wasn't the best time.

“I believed in my young little mind that flowers had a soul.” Sofia wiped away some tears. “I believed only a mother could protect the souls and guide them to the afterlife.”

“To your mother.”

Sofia nodded. The tears started to fall freely and she put her head down on his shoulder, wrapped her arms around his waist, seeking comfort he was only too happy to give. With what he knew of her, Callen understood what was happening. Sofia had never been free to openly grieve her mother, not truly. To grieve would mean showing how much she hurt, which would’ve shown her father how much she remembered. With time the tears stopped and Sofia’s breathing settled. The sun was now fully above the horizon.

“I want to go back,” she said softly.

“Back where?”

Sofia lifted her head and turned around in his arms to face the ocean once again. She didn’t try and pull away from him so he kept them around her and she settled back against him, her gaze on the colours the higher sun was now spreading over the water.

“Romania. Home I guess.  We’ve never really called anywhere else home because we never really settled. Papa always hoped one day it would be safe to return.”

“You want to go move back?” Callen felt a tightness in his chest. He’d only just found her, gotten her back so to speak. They’d barely had a chance.

Sofia shook her head and Callen stopped his thoughts. Thoughts that confused him because how could he be so attached to her already that it almost created a pain at the thought of her not being near. Somehow he knew it wasn’t because of the possibility she might take answers with her that he desperately wanted. Could that connection from their childhood be so strong to cause it?

“Just a visit. I think… I need… I … ” Sofia sighed.

“Closure?” he prompted gently.

“To say goodbye,” Sofia whispered sadly. “I never got to say goodbye.” She turned her face to him and Callen saw the look of apprehension on her face. There was a trace of fear back in her eyes that he wished wasn’t but could understand. It was going to take a while for the fear to fully leave her, even if she knew in her head there was no need. Before Callen knew it the words were out of his mouth, words that felt right.

“Would you like me to come with you?”

Callen felt a stillness settle on her body and wondered, even with it feeling right, whether he’d made a mistake.

“You’d do that?”

“Can’t have you facing this on your own can we?” He tried to keep his tone casual.

Her smile said it didn’t work. Sofia studied his face, her eyes staring into his and, instead of looking away he let her. He let her look, knowing that she’d would see the truth.

The look in her eyes, the compassion, the understanding he saw told Callen he’d been right. She had seen the truth. Well, the rest of the truth because it was true that he wouldn’t want her to face going back there on her own. But he also wanted to go for himself too. A part of his life had been there. Maybe it would help him remember.

“I would love that,” Sofia answered, not calling on him to voice the rest of his reasons. “Very much.”


	12. Romania Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay - lost internet for a week after a storm. Back up now thankfully. Interesting experience realising just how internet dependent we are these days.
> 
> Italics are flashbacks/memories

* * *

Callen pulled the rental car to the side of the small road and switched off the engine before he turned his gaze and concentration to Sofia. She was staring out the side window at what he wasn’t sure. 

The last two weeks had sped by. There had been so many changes for her to grasp relating to her life. Hetty was working through the process to allow her to take back her real name and origin without affecting her ability to remain in the United States. Hetty had assured him she would make sure there were no consequences. 

Sofia had also confessed to Marko the truth. He’d been understanding and welcomed her back with open arms. As Callen suspected, Marko hadn’t fully believed Sofia’s story relating to Marie Daniels. Marko had assured Sofia that she would have a job with him if she wanted it once the dust had settled and she had worked out what she was going to do from there on. It had been a relief to her that things were out in the open with the man who had looked out for her. She’d hated lying to him.

Callen had spent some time together with Sofia, though work and urgent cases had pulled him away more often than he’d liked. Sofia’s ability to recall her memories so clearly had helped prompt some of Callen’s own from the time at her camp. He didn’t know how he could repay her for what she’d given him over these two weeks.

Callen knew his mother better. 

He remembered her smile, her voice and her laugh.  He remembered her arms around him and the soft sweet voice of her singing him and Amy to sleep at night. The memory of his mother’s bright smile was something he cherished. He’d seen it come to his face in his memories whenever he and Sofia brought her flowers; something they did frequently. 

He remembered more of Amy. Not so much memories of things he’d done with her but the emotions that he’d felt for her. Love in particular. From his memories, during the time they’d been with Sofia, Amy had stayed close to their mother. Perhaps being older she had sensed the danger more than he did, though Callen had remembered he worried for his mother when he’d hear her crying softly at night when he was supposed to be asleep. 

Callen remembered missing his father but not how it happened.

His memories and Sofia’s had told him he’d spent most of his time with Sofia; playing and running, being free or at least the illusion of being free. There were meadows and trees to play in and explore. The children of the camp were allowed quite a bit of freedom, just as long as they stayed within calling distance in case they needed help. He didn’t remember much about the other children though. 

Callen also remembered nights when Sofia had stayed with them, curled up in the small bed between him and Amy when her father had to be away. He remembered that sometimes Sofia would look at him when his mother was singing them to sleep on those night and he’d see tears shimmering in Sofia’s eyes in the dim light;  feel her curl up closer into him. Times he guessed she’d missed her own mother though she never said anything.

Callen still had more questions and he hoped that the time in Romania on this trip would help him gather some answers and remember more. He had no idea why he and Amy weren’t killed there on the beach that day, or where Amy had been at the time. He couldn’t remember anything between his memory of looking at his mother after she’d been shot and the one of the first orphanage he’d been placed in. 

Callen suspected if he asked her Sofia would try and see his past, help him solve those mysteries. He refused to ask. There were too many horrible things in his life that she might find instead. Thanks to Sofia Callen had some precious memories of his mother that weren’t just of her smiling at him right before she was killed and he certainly didn’t want to repay that with bringing any of the darkness from his world into her mind where those memories would never leave.

They’d flown into Cluj-Naponca two days ago, taken a day to settle and then driven three hours out to a small village near the edge of the Carpathian Mountains - the village she’d mentioned that messages had been passed to his mother through. There they stayed the night sharing a room and a bed, because there had only been the one available in a bed and breakfast. There was a wedding happening the next day and they were lucky that a room had been available at all. 

Even though they’d shared a bed, nothing had happened between them. Well nothing more than comfort when she’d turned to him through the night after a nightmare had tried to take root in her mind. He’d woken up in the early hours of the morning with her head on his shoulder and his arms around her; a rightness to it he hadn’t expected. Their night together, before they knew who they were, still played on his mind but pursuing the relationship further right now, even though he sensed Sofia would be open to it, wasn’t something he was ready to do. 

Right now their focus was on Sofia healing and moving through the grief that she had hidden from the world, and perhaps even herself, and finding her feet.  Callen was also hoping to find answers with her help if possible. There was plenty of time for there to be more, at least he hoped there would be, though doubts kept pricking at his mind that she deserved better. She’d just left a life behind of looking over her shoulder. Anything between them was going to put her in the sights of those who wanted to hurt him. He wasn’t sure he wanted to do that to her, but that was a decision for another day. Right now, friendship, comfort and support was what she needed and he, surprisingly, seemed to be very capable of giving that to her.

Sofia was still staring out the window when Callen came back from his thoughts. She didn’t seem to realise they had stopped. He put his hand on her shoulder. She jumped and her head turned to him.

“Sorry,” she murmured with a brief smile.

“It’s okay,” Callen said. “We’re here. You still want to do this?”

She nodded.

“Even after the talk in town about it being haunted?”

They had eaten out at the local inn for dinner last night. Callen had engaged in some subtle conversation with the locals to see what was in the area that they could visit during their couple of days stay.  It was during one of those conversations that they’d first heard the rumours about the haunting in the lower mountains from a massacre of a Romani traveling camp years ago. The rumours suggested that if you ventured too close screams would fill the air and seem to come from all around. Apparently the screams were bloodcurdling enough that even the most ardent ghost hunter ended up backing away before reaching where the camp had once stood. The locals gave the area a wide berth and recommended that they do the same. Seeing the fear in their eyes Callen had let them believe they’d taken the advice and steered the conversation in a direction of more suitable sightseeing.

“Do you believe in ghosts Grisha?” Sofia asked him with a sad smile.

“Never met any. Hoping I don't. You?”

“Not ghosts but lost souls. Though you have to admit, this is a place worthy of being haunted.” She looked out the window again. “Many lost souls. I can only hope they found their way home,” she added softly.

“You ready to find out?” he asked her.

The walk to where the camp had been was a good half hour so Callen grabbed his bag with supplies from the backseat and locked the car before they set off.

They didn’t talk much as they walked; the silence comfortable between them. At some point when Sofia’s fingers brushed his Callen had caught and held her hand loosely. Her fingers had closed around his, at first just enough to ensure her hand didn’t slip from his, but the closer they got to the camp the tighter her hold became.

The occasional howl of a wolf was heard but nothing to suggest the haunting the townsfolk feared and Callen had to wonder where the rumours had come from. There was a turn in the overgrown road and Sofia stopped. She took a long deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Just around this corner. That’s it.” Sofia took another breath and turned her head to look at him. “Are you sure you want to come too?”

“We’re in this together.” Callen squeezed her hand. “We both have pasts around that corner we need to deal with.”

“Thank you,” Sofia whispered. She stepped into him and brushed a light kiss on his cheek. “I don’t think I could’ve done this on my own.” She stayed close for a few moments and Callen’s free hand rested on her lower back connecting them more than just their still held hands. She lifted her eyes to his and Callen saw the courage gathering there. This was not going to be easy for her but at least she wasn’t alone.

Their steps took them around the corner and a large overgrown clearing appeared in front of them. Some small flowers poked their heads up through the long grass. There was nothing to suggest anyone had lived here. Yet Callen knew there had been. The magnitude of the space and the number of families that it could’ve housed hit him hard. Numbers were one thing but when you put them into context with the space it made his stomach turn at the lives lost here so long ago.

Callen heard a distressed whimper from Sofia. He felt how tight she was now holding onto his hand and he pulled her into his arms. She buried her head on his shoulder and a shudder shook her body.

* * *

_ Sofia skipped to Grisha’s front steps.  _

_ “Grisha come. It’s time,” she whispered quietly, hoping not to disturb his mother or sister if they were still sleeping.  This was the perfect morning to pick flowers while they still had dew on them. The sparkle of the morning sun hitting the flowers when they were like that was magical and she wanted to share it with him. _

_ “Grisha?” she called again a little louder. When there was no response she moved the heavy curtain that covered the entrance to the caravan and looked in. There was no one there. She frowned. _

_ “Grisha,” she murmured, confused. “Where are you?” He was never out this early. He tended to like staying curled up in bed where it was warm, especially now that it was getting colder. _

_ Sofia turned on the steps and looked around. “Where are you Grisha?” she called out. _

_ She saw her father moving outside their caravan. “Papa. Tell me where Grisha is.” Papa always knew where she was so he was bound to know what Grisha was up to so early. _

_ But the look on Papa’s face wasn’t the usual smile he always had for her and Sofia felt a chill start to spread inside her. Something was wrong. She glanced around and saw how many people were up and about, moving quickly. There was a panicked feel to the air that she now noticed. _

_ “Sofia come,” Papa called to her firmly. “Grisha is not here. He’s gone. So must we. Now.” Sofia looked around again. The urgency, the desperation in Papa’s voice. The fear she could see in other people’s eyes. Something was terribly wrong. She was worried for her friend. _

_ “No! Papa, where is he?” she cried out. The desperate fear that had suddenly rose inside her came through clear in her voice. She needed to know Grisha was safe, his family too. _

_ “Sofia, we must go.” _

_ Sofia jumped off the steps and ran to Papa. His strong arms picked her up and held her even though she could sense the restraint in his actions. There were things to be done but she needed this moment and he knew that. _

_ “Papa?” she whimpered. _

_ There was a loud bang and Papa’s arms tightened painfully around her. Fear gripped her body. Screams and loud voices were suddenly hammering her ears. _

_ Then Papa was moving, with her still held tightly in his arms. He stepped up to the caravan, their home, reached inside and pulled out a bag and their traveling cloaks. Suddenly she was on their horse with Papa behind her. Her body shook, fear overwhelming her little body as the screaming and explosions - she now recognised them as gunshots - continued. She held onto Papa’s arms that were now bracketed around her as he urged the horse to move in a way she’d never seen him do before. It made her flinch. How could Papa be so cruel to their horse? He’d never hit Sassy before. She opened her mouth to tell him no when the gunfire suddenly increased, now barely a moment separated each explosive sound. She turned her head to look back but Papa whispered, “No don’t,” and nudged her head back to the front with his arm. She recognised the fear lacing his words. _

_ More screams. Some she recognised, some she didn’t but in the depths of her soul she recognised fear and terror in all of them. She huddled back into Papa’s body, her legs gripping Sassy’s sides as tight as she could as the horse moved fast, carrying them away. Pain ripped through her heart as she realised what was happening. People were dying. Someone was killing them. _

_ Sofia closed her eyes and continued to cling tightly to Papa’s arms even though she wanted desperately to put her hands over her ears to stop the sounds of the screams and gunfire. The pounding of her heart and the roaring of her blood in her ears mixed with the sound from Sassy’s hooves slamming into the ground didn’t stop those terrifying sounds reaching into her mind. Trees rushed past but, protected within Papa’s arms and by his body, they never struck her. She wished they would. Surely physical pain would distract her from what was happening to her heart, to her life and to those she cared about that they were leaving behind. _

_ They crested the top of the hill and Papa brought Sassy to a stop. Papa rubbed the horse’s heaving sides and spoke to Sassy in soothing words, one of his arms now locked around Sofia. They both looked below into the valley that had been their home. Flames licked the top of the trees, jumping and spreading. The screams continued to reach Sofia’s ears along with the occasional gun shot. But mostly it was just screams - of pain, fear and terror. _

_ “Papa? Grisha?” she sobbed. _

_ “They’d already left. Hopefully they will be far enough away.” _

_ “Who are they?” _

_ “Evil. I’ll tell you one day, but for now I need you to trust me more than you ever have before.” Papa tilted her head to look at him and she saw the tears falling down his face too.  “My dear Sofia Elena-Maria. This is the last time I’ll call you that. We do not speak our names again. Now, hold on tight. We must keep moving.” _

_ With one last look at the flames and a whimper Sofia again pushed herself back into the safety of her Papa’s body and cried, her heart shattering to pieces. _

* * *

“It’s okay,” Callen gently rubbed her back.

“The memory from that night is so strong,” Sofia whispered, pain filled every word. Callen wouldn’t ask her to tell him more from that night. She’d given him an idea when she had first told him what the Comescu’s had done. That was more than enough to understand the horror. 

Callen tightened his arms around Sofia and held her while she recovered from the memory. He was starting to understand the signs she showed she was caught up in them. Sometimes for her they were just like thinking back on a memory of something. Other times it was like she was back there reliving it. Knowing how Sofia remembered things had Callen concerned that coming here was a mistake, even though he knew it was what she wanted to do. It also made him exceptionally glad that he had made this journey with her. 

When Sofia was ready they continued on. Callen half expected to come across bones beneath his feet but given the time, there would be nothing left to tread on, but still he kept his steps light and reverent. So many lives had been lost here.

Nothing sparked a memory yet but he was okay with that. They walked deeper into the clearing and Sofia slowed to a stop.

“Here,” she said softly. “This was where you were.”

She let go of his hand and took a few steps to the left. “That is where we were,” she added. “My home.” She took a shaky breath and moved forward, into the area he imagined her caravan had been. She knelt on the ground. 

“Such happy times, especially after you came.” She glanced around. “The caravan you were in was one that held our extra stores of food. Our people helped change it for you. We shared the stores around and spare bedding and household things were brought in to make it comfortable for you. You were welcomed and helped freely - just in case you were wondering. There was no one who begrudged you anything. Until the traitor sold you out for money.”

“Do you know who he was?”

Sofia shook her head. “Papa wouldn’t tell me. He didn’t want me to know who was responsible for your death. From his reaction, I suspect it was someone he thought he knew well.”

Callen moved to crouch down next to her. “When did you hear about them killing us?” 

“About a week later,” Sofia replied. “When the messenger arrived in the camp we were staying at we hid. We heard him announce it to the camp.” Her head dropped and Callen regretted asking her the question as he was sure the memory was overwhelming her again. He let his hand rest gently on her back, creating a connection she seemed to find soothing. He liked knowing he could help her make it through these kind of times.

“It hurt so much to hear them gloat, to know they’d killed you, Amy and your mother.” Her eyes lifted to the sky and she bit her lip. “I screamed but Papa was quick and had his hand over my mouth before anyone could hear. We started to move, heading around the caravans staying hidden in the trees to where our horse was, hoping to get away before they told them we were there. After all why wouldn’t they would tell them. We were strangers and their whole camp was at risk. When we got to our horse one of the village elders was already waiting with Sassy. I thought that was it. It was all over.” Her breath was harsh and she closed her eyes and Callen watched her focus on her breathing until she was calm enough to continue. “But he handed us a bag with food, some extra clothes and a blanket. Didn’t say a word just pointed us in the direction we should go. Two days ride that way we came across another camp. They kept doing that, sending us on our way no questions asked.”

“But you didn’t always stay in the camps. You didn’t trust them even after that?” 

Sofia shook her head. “Not exactly. We didn’t know who to trust and Papa preferred not to risk it. He also didn’t want anyone else to die because of us. He was good at hunting thankfully so while the food was scarce we didn’t starve. But the times we did make contact gave us a small amount of confidence that there were still good people out there.” She wiped the tears away and shifted forward on her knees to feel in the grass, breaking the connection between them.

“What are you looking for?”

“We had a tin box. Kept some things in it underneath the caravan but didn’t have time to get it and take it with us. I’m wondering if it survived the fire and time.”

Callen stood and looked at the area around him. He tried to remember his time here but nothing came, though there was sense of familiarity that he rarely felt to a place. He tried to imagine it full of people, a buzzing little community but he couldn’t push the thoughts away of how it ended.

“It’s here.” Sofia’s shocked whisper pulled Callen back from his morbid thoughts to watch her carefully brush the dirt off a very old tin. He knelt down next to her as she lifted the lid.

“Oh my. I forgot about this.”

Sofia lifted a small stone in the shape of a star from the box. Something tugged at Callen’s memory.

“Do you remember?” she asked.

“There’s something.” 

Sofia held it out to him. Callen took it and rubbed it between his fingers.

“You gave it to me,” Sofia told him. “For my birthday. You didn’t have a present but you wanted to give me something. Papa took you to the lake…” She trailed off as if to give him time to see if anything would come of it.

* * *

_ “I don’t have anything for Fi,” Grisha whispered as he looked at the ground. It was his little friend’s birthday and though they’d only been here a week he wanted to give her something. _

_ The man beside him crouched down and smiled when Grisha finally lifted his head to look at him.  _

_ “She doesn’t need anything from you Grisha,” he said gently. “You’re her friend and she simply loves being with you. You make her happy.” _

_ Sofia’s father was a gentle man and Grisha knew how much Sofia loved him. _

_ “You know,” her father continued, “She likes to find things that are different from other things the same. A flower that has lost a petal or is smaller than the rest, an odd colouring to it. A stick that looks like something. She’s different to the other children. She likes different.” _

_ “Like me?” He was different. He knew it. The adults looked at them with sympathy. The children with looks that said they weren’t quite sure of him or if they wanted to be friends. Sofia didn’t. She’d smiled at him the first time they’d met. She’d taken his hand and led him away to play. They hadn’t returned until dinner time. They’d been friends since that moment. _

_ “Yes Grisha,” her father nodded. “Like you.” He put his hand under Grisha’s chin and looked him in the eye. “You are different to the other children here.” He smiled again. “There’s nothing wrong with different. Don’t ever forget that.” _

_ Grisha nodded. He felt it was something he should do in response. “I don’t think she’d like a flower from me. She likes giving them to my mama.” _

_ “Yes she does.” Her father looked around. “How about while I see if I can catch some fish, you look around here. Maybe you’ll find something different for her.” _

_ Grisha nodded. _

_ ***** _

_ Grisha held out his closed hand to Sofia. “This is for you.” He opened it flat, trying hard not to let his hand shake, worried that she might not like it. _

_ Sofia tenderly picked up the rock from his hand. Her eyes lit up. “A star,” she breathed as she touched it gently and traced its edges. “It’s beautiful.” _

_ Her father smiled and nodded at him from where he sat with Sofia on his knee. Sofia lifted her gaze from the stone, her eyes shining like a star would in the night sky. Then she had her little arms around him.  _

_ “Thank you Grisha. It’s perfect. I’ll keep it forever.” _

* * *

“He said you liked different.” Callen blinked to ease the pressure of the tears that had started to form with the precious memory. “I found it near the lake, just at the edge of the water.” Callen smiled at Sofia and handed back the stone. “I do believe you said you’d keep it forever.”

Sofia returned the smile. “I did. It’s been here waiting for me to come get it. I won’t leave it behind this time.” Instead of returning it to the tin, she put it safely in the pocket of her jeans before turning her attention back to the tin. “These were my great grandmothers.” There was a necklace and a matching bracelet, the metal tarnished with age, the green gems dusty and dull. No doubt cleaned it would be beautiful. Sofia lifted a small metal band. “My mother’s wedding ring.” She placed the ring back in the box with the other jewellery and closed the lid. She stood up, the box held tightly in her hands. Callen took the backpack off and opened it for her to put it in. There was no doubt the box was coming with them.

Sofia held out her hand to him. “Come. There’s a meadow to be found.” She smiled. “We spent a lot of time there. Perhaps you will remember more.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

* * *

 

Sofia led Callen along a path that only she could see. To him they were just randomly walking through trees that had no sign of been used. But then if the rumours in town were true, no one had ventured here in forty years. She seemed confident and since there wasn’t a rush, and Callen had GPS on his phone, he didn’t worry. His doubts were proven unfounded when she led him through two close growing trees, brushed aside their hanging green branches and there it was. A wide open space bordered by trees. Clear blue sky above with green long grasses and flowers poking their heads through almost everywhere.

A flash of a memory came to his mind. Sofia with a butterfly on her hand. She had a soft look of awe on her face as she studied it with a smile. Then another one - a bird landing on her shoulder as the two of them sat on a fallen log near the edge of the meadow. They’d been laughing together about something. 

Callen smiled. It was more proof of their friendship and the happy times he’d spent with her; things he didn’t have much of from his childhood. He looked around and saw a deer just near the treeline. Another memory - this time more than a flash.

* * *

_ “Fi, look!” Grisha pointed to the side of the meadow, not too far from them. Sofia turned her head.  _

_ “She’s beautiful isn’t she?” Sofia said in that soft voice of hers. “Look closer, her baby is there too.” _

_ Grisha looked and saw the small fawn just in front of its mother.  It started to come towards them. _

_ “Fi?” Grisha whispered not sure what to do. _

_ “Stay still. Let him come.” _

_ Grisha watched in amazement as the fawn came closer. The mother watched but didn’t move. Closer it came until it was near enough for Sofia to reach out and touch. _

_ “Good morning,” Sofia whispered and held her hand out to just in front of the fawn. The fawn sniffed it and moved closer. Sofia’s hand gently stroked its nose. “Thank you,” she said gently and then the fawn slipped back to its mother with what seemed like a bounce in its step. _

_ “How did you do that?” Grisha asked her. _

_ Sofia shrugged. “I see them often. They know they are safe with me. I’d never hurt them.” She made it sound so simple but Grisha had never seen animals respond to anyone like they did to her. _

* * *

__

Callen looked at Sofia. She still gave off that soft and gentle aura that the childhood version had. She gave him a questioning look. 

“Did you remember something?” she asked.

Callen smiled. “You have a way with animals. Didn’t know I was friends with Sleeping Beauty.”

She raised her eyebrows. “How exactly do you know about Aurora?” she asked curiously.

“Sam’s daughter, Kamran, went through a princess phase.  Figured I’d better give him a break when he started whistling while we worked.” He smiled at the memory of how easily he’d been able to tease Sam during that phase with Kamran. “I got lucky. She switched to Sleeping Beauty just after that. Personally I prefer a prince who’ll fight for his girl.”  

A soft laugh fell from Sofia’s lips. It was sweet, gentle and definitely fitted with what he knew of the little girl from his memories. 

“I can’t quite imagine Sam watching Snow White,” she said.

Callen cocked an eyebrow and held back a smile. “Yet you can imagine me watching Sleeping Beauty?”

There was a twinkle of amusement in her eye as she nodded. 

“What does that say about your thoughts on my manliness?” Callen teased. He could see she was trying not to laugh.

“Believe me there’s nothing wrong with your manliness,” Sofia told him with just a hint of something in her voice that wasn’t to do with princess movies. “It’s just that I know you,” she continued. “I don’t know Sam. Though I do hope he’s teaching her that it should take more than a kiss to win the girl’s heart.”

“And there,” Callen said with a cheeky grin, “is why Philip is a much better example than Charming. He at least fought his way through spiky thorns and defeated the dragon from hell for her.”

Sofia laughed. “Defeating a girl’s evil dragon is a very acceptable way for a girl to have her heart won.”

Callen wondered if she was still talking about Kam. Did she consider the Comescu’s to be her evil dragon? He decided to let it go and keep things light.

“It’s amazing what Sam will do to get a smile out of Kam. Plus,” Callen gave a shrug of resignation. “She has us both wrapped around her little finger … tight.”

“I’d like to see that.”

Callen smiled. “I can probably arrange something.”

Sofia turned away and looked back out to the meadow but not before he noticed a hint of something in eyes that suggested the idea appealed, perhaps because it hinted of a future between the two of them. What kind only time would tell. 

“I don’t think we ever picked a bouquet of flowers for your mother that was exactly the same.” Sofia reached down to pick a small pink flower and brought it to her nose, her eyes closed as she breathed in the scent.

Callen leaned against a tree at the edge of the meadow, just near where they had come through the leaves. He watched as Sofia drifted through it, collecting a flower here and there from the rainbow of choices laid out in front of them. Her movements were relaxed and smooth. The meadow obviously held good memories for her and Callen was glad she’d been able to find it after what she’d been through back at the camp just before. 

He felt it too. The memories Callen had of this spot that he’d remembered were full of laughter and smiles. Full of Sofia. The other children were never close even when they were around. They seemed to keep a distance from the two of them and Callen wondered why. Sofia was almost halfway into the meadow when a shifting shadow on the other side of it, near the treeline, brought his attention from his thoughts to the present.

Callen froze.

“Sofia,” he called out, her full name pulled from him as he automatically reached for his gun that he didn’t have.

Sofia tilted her head toward him and frowned, confusion in her expression. He wasn’t sure he’d called her Sofia since they’d been reunited. Not unless it was by way of introduction.

“Come back.” Callen took a few steps closer to her. Sofia looked behind her and Callen saw her body stiffen and the flowers that she had already picked slipped from her hands.

“Come back slowly, please,” Callen all but demanded of her. He had his pocket knife but wasn’t sure it would do any good against a wolf that size. Because that’s what the shifting shadow had been. A large black wolf that was currently making its way slowly and steadily straight toward Sofia who was standing frozen in the middle of the meadow; far too far away for him to be any help.

“Fi, please,” he begged. 

Sofia started to move but it was the wrong way. She was going toward the wolf.

“Fi!” Callen called out sharply this time and took a few steps towards her until he noticed more shadows shift. His eyes flicked around the meadow as he counted a further nine wolves standing at the edge, their eyes seemingly fixed on him.

“Trust me Grisha,” Sofia called back to him, her tone gentle and her words just loud enough to reach his ears. He had no choice. He watched as Sofia walked toward the wolf; a wolf that that stood as high as her waist when on all fours. Callen’s breath was shallow and his mind raced trying to come up with a plan. There weren’t many options; the knife in his pocket all that he had if he could get it out and have it ready, though even then he’d be too far away to help quickly if it attacked. It was better than nothing. His hand slowly moved into his pocket and inch by inch he withdrew the knife while the other wolves continued to watch him and Sofia got closer to the black beast.

Sofia was about ten feet away from it when Callen’s heart leapt into his throat as he watched her sink to her knees. The wolf continued its steady progress the rest of the way to her and Callen’s breath halted in his lungs when it stopped right in front of her.

After what felt like an eternity, but was most likely barely a minute in reality, Callen watched Sofia lift her hand slowly and reached out to the wolf. To Callen’s shock the wolf shifted its head into her hand then closed its eyes. He saw Sofia’s shoulders shake and then her hand was gently stroking the wolf’s head. The wolf opened its eyes and more moments passed between woman and beast. Callen felt a pressure in his chest and realised he’d forgotten to breathe.

He heard the soft murmur of Sofia’s voice but couldn’t make out the words. He wanted to inch closer but the other wolves were still watching him. The black wolf put its head on Sofia’s shoulder, her arms wrapped around and held it close. Callen shook his head to try and clear his vision because he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. He’d never known a predatory wild animal to react like that. Just because she had birds, butterflies and baby deer trusting her didn’t mean she could hypnotise a wolf. But the evidence in front of him suggested otherwise. Then the wolf  lifted its head and looked directly at him. Sofia turned her head and smiled. It gave Callen some degree of reassurance that she felt safe. Her gaze shifted back to the wolf who, after a few extended moments of studying him, returned its gaze to Sofia.

A few more moments passed before the wolf turned and bounded away from Sofia back toward the tree line. A howl ripped through the meadow sending a slight shiver up Callen’s spine which was magnified by the nine answering howls. Then the wolves turned and disappeared into the trees after their obvious leader. 

Sofia didn’t move but Callen did. He kept his eyes on the tree line, his ears tuned into the slightest sound in case the wolves came back as he made his way quickly to her side. Sofia looked up at him from where she was still kneeling among the flowers and grass. Tears were running down her cheeks. A smile that mixed with the touch of sadness in her eyes eased a small amount of the worry gripping Callen’s body. There was no fear in them.

“It was them,” Sofia whispered. “The elder of the camp and some of the fathers. They’re the ones ‘haunting’ here. To keep it safe from those who would disturb the dead.” Callen crouched beside her and wiped the tears from one cheek though more fell to replace them. “No one got a proper burial.” She swallowed. “Just burned where they fell and died.” 

Sofia looked over to where the wolves had disappeared. “They sacrificed what came next, going to that place of peace with their loved ones to protect here; to make sure they didn’t come back and destroy it further.”

Sofia turned back to Callen. “I told them they were free. That the monsters who’d done this were gone.” She lifted her hand to his cheek. “That you had freed them too.”

Callen shook his head. “I didn’t.”

“You did.” She nodded. “You might not have known it at the time. I know you didn’t do it for them but if you’d known before it wouldn’t have just been for your mother.”

Callen wasn’t so sure but he wasn’t about to argue. He knew when they’d stormed the Comescu’s house on the beach he’d been hell bent on revenge for his mother and rescue for Hetty. He wasn’t sure there would’ve been room in his head for anything else, though he liked that she thought he was capable of being that good a man.

Callen rose and held out his hand. “We’d better go.”

Sofia placed her hand in his and he pulled her up.

“We’re safe,” Sofia assured him. “They won’t harm us.” She glanced over again at the woods. “Do you remember when the wolf chased me through here and I almost tumbled us both to the ground?”

Callen frowned. “Not yet, but there’s something I can’t quite reach.”

“I was coming back from the stream. I’d felt the wolf watching me but didn’t worry. They never came near me. I was safe. Always felt safe because I didn’t do anything to harm them.”

Callen wondered what it was that seemed to put animals at ease with her. Perhaps they could see her soul the way she could see others. Maybe they sensed that they were safe too.

“I was just coming into the meadow,” Sofia continued, “when I heard it behind me. I turned and there it was. Standing there watching me, mouth hanging open. Teeth bared and eyes wide. It growled, a nasty and horrible growl, snapped its teeth.”

A shiver ran through her and Callen stepped a little closer.

“I just ran,” Sofia said. “It was probably the wrong thing to do but I was so scared. I was halfway across the meadow when I heard you call out my name. I ran to you even faster, screamed that there was a wolf. When I got to you we almost fell but you held me tight, stopped us from falling. I looked around and it was gone.” 

Callen nodded. He could recall that moment now. “I remember. But there wasn’t anything behind you. Not that I saw.”

Sofia turned to face him. “I remember hearing the pounding of its paws on the ground, the sound of its growl and its breath heaving, so close. Those sounds were right behind me all the way until I was in your arms.”

“You were scared. Maybe you imagined hearing it.” In his memory there certainly hadn’t been anything behind her but Callen didn’t doubt she’d been scared. He remembered feeling her heart pounding against his chest when he held her to stop her falling and continued while she calmed down. She hadn’t seemed to want to let him go.

“I don’t think it was my imagination,” Sofia said. “It felt and sounded too real. But I’m suspecting it was perhaps a premonition, a warning or a cryptic clue on what was coming in my life.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you remember what that day was?”

Callen shook his head. “No.” Piecing together where memories sat on his timeline wasn’t easy yet.

“Our last day together,” Sofia told him. “The next morning you were gone and everything was wrong.”

Callen frowned. “How was a wolf chasing you a premonition?”

“I’ve spent my life running and hiding from something horrible and evil. The … “ She bit her lip and took a breath. “Comescu’s.” It was the first time Callen had heard her say their name since the time outside the shop when she’d thrown the knife at him. “I only stopped running that day here when you caught me and then the wolf was gone.” Sofia reached out and put her hand on his chest. “I’ve been running almost all my life Grisha, running until you caught me. Just like that day.”

Callen lifted his hand to cover hers. “You think you were meant to find me again?”

“I’ve never seen anything like it before or since and right up until just now I always believed that I had been chased by a wolf until I was safe in your arms. But as you said, there was no wolf.”

Callen started to see where she was going with this. “You ran from me though.”

“Only until I knew who you were.”

Sofia shifted a touch closer, lifted her other hand to his face. “Only until I found you and the safety of your arms and you told me there was no wolf.”

Callen’s free hand slid behind her neck and he dropped his head gently to place his forehead against hers.

“Even before that though,” Sofia whispered. “I felt safe with you. I wouldn’t have gone with you that night to the hotel room if I hadn’t.”

“So why did you run the next morning?”

“Because I was terrified. In the nightmare they were coming, for me and you. And even though I thought you were long dead, I felt so scared for you. They were right there, right behind me, telling me they were coming for us. I couldn’t seem to separate the dream from reality.” She took a slow breath. “Even though I ran that morning there was this part of me that just wanted to turn, to sink into your arms, be protected.”

“I wish you had.”

“So do I.” Her voice was even softer than a whisper.

“Can you do me a favour?”

“Anything,” she said.

“Next time, don’t go towards the wolf.” Callen rarely felt that helpless or terrified and he wouldn’t mind at all if he never felt that way again.

“I promise. No more close encounters with wolves.” 

Callen knew she was smiling. She probably thought it silly of him to worry.

“You are not silly,” Sofia assured him as if she’d read his mind. “The only reason I went towards it and not you was because he caught my eyes with his and I saw his soul. I knew that soul. I knew I would be safe.”

Callen took a slow breath. “Any chance we can go now?” There was still a part of him, even after everything she’d just told him that didn’t feel safe out here, exposed.

“The wolves won’t be back.  I want to take some flowers to the camp but then we’ll go.”

Callen understood. It was her way to say goodbye, to pay her respects to those who had died. He monitored the treeline carefully while she gathered an armload of flowers, including the ones she’d previously dropped. Back at the camp Callen watched as Sofia made her way around, placing flowers at various spots that Callen assumed had been where the caravans of the rest of the camp’s occupants had been. He stayed close to her but gave her space to say her goodbyes. These people had meant a lot to her but he didn’t remember much about the rest of them, mainly her and her father. 

The visit here hadn’t given him any earth-shattering revelations about his life but it had given him more of something important. Something he didn’t have much experience with from his childhood. Someone who accepted him simply for who he was. A friendship that was pure childhood fun. Even though his time with Sofia would’ve been under a shadow given why his mother had brought him and Amy here, his time with here with Sofia was happy. He now knew of a childhood friendship which was strong, pure, innocent and accepting. 

When Sofia finally stopped at where her home, and his, had been, she placed the remaining flowers there. Callen stepped up close behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders.

“I thought I’d feel more of an attachment to here,” Sofia murmured, “to Romania. It’s where I’m from. But … I don’t. I want to go … I want home.”

Home. Something she hadn’t had since she’d fled here.

“Where is home?” Callen asked her. Now she was free she could go anywhere.

Sofia gave a soft laugh tinged with pain. “Isn’t it supposed to be where the heart is?”

“And where is yours?” Callen asked her quietly. Through his hands he felt the slight tremor that ran through her body. He heard the soft yet distinct sound of a held back sob. He gently turned her around and pulled her into his arms. She buried her head in his neck and cried. He simply held her while she grieved for what she’d lost. Her heart had been broken in so many ways, perhaps even pieces left behind in different places. 

A flicker of hope, an unexpected feeling and idea stirred deep inside him. Could he be home for her?


	14. Chapter 14

Callen opened the rental car door and waited as Sofia slipped off her sandals.

“The beach?” She looked up at him curiously. “Don’t we have those in LA?”

Callen closed her door and held out his hand. “Not this one.” His fingers closed around hers as he led them down the steps to the sand. His heart was pounding slightly harder in his chest than he would’ve like it to be. He wasn’t entirely sure how what he was about to tell her would go but he was following his instincts and they had a pretty good track record of steering him in the right direction.

“What is it about this beach that’s so special?” Sofia asked him.

The sand was soft and warm underneath his bare feet. “It’s where my mother died,” Callen answered quietly. Sofia stopped and the resistance against his hand brought him to a stop as well. Callen turned to face her.

“Here?” Sofia queried tentatively. 

Callen nodded. 

“You remember it?” she asked.

“Not much. I remember looking at her and her smiling at me. The next time she was already dead.” The picture in Callen’s head wasn’t clear to the child he had been but it was clear to him as the adult he was now.

Sofia slipped her arm around his waist and leaned her head against his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “That’s not something any child should have to see.”

“I didn’t see it,” Callen told her. “Just the effect. At least not that I know of.” 

“That would be a memory most would want to forget.” 

Her voice was so gentle and caring Callen felt the tears push against his eyes. She pulled emotions from him that he would normally be able to keep buried.

“Yet I want to remember, to know for sure what happened, and can’t.” Callen was silent for a few moments, enjoying the comfort from her this time. She’d been through so much this trip that she had needed comfort for where as his memories tended to revolve around happy ones - with her. “That’s not the reason I brought you here,” he said. Callen shifted her so she faced away from him. He stepped in close behind her and, over her shoulder, he pointed to the house on the hill. “See that house?” 

“Yes.”

“It was theirs. Comescu’s.”

“Oh.” 

Callen turned her around to face him. “I thought ... “ He brushed some hair back from her face. “I hoped it would help you if you saw it.” Callen’s hand settled on her shoulder. “That is where we took most of them down. Maybe it might help you believe they’re gone. You know they had Hetty. We came to get her and that was when I remembered that it was here that my mother died.”

Sofia frowned. “They lived there?”

Callen nodded.

“Then or after?”

“Then. I checked.”

“This was the meeting point that your mother was told to come to?” Sofia asked, disbelief clear in her tone.

* * *

_ “Mama?” Grisha looked up at his mother, his hand held hers tight. _

_ “Play. Smile.” She reached and brushed his hair back from his forehead even though it was nowhere near his eyes. “Soon we’ll be safe. Someone is coming to get us. Have fun and don’t worry my beautiful boy.”  _

_ Grisha could see the worry in her eyes even though she was smiling at them as if nothing was wrong. _

_ “Is it Papa coming to get us?” Amy asked. _

_ The smile turned sad and the hint of tears came into his mother’s eyes. _

_ “No my sweet girl. Not this time. But when he can he’ll find us.” _

_ Grisha watched as Amy slipped off to the waters edge. He was tempted to join her. It had been a long time since he’d played in the sea, but he didn’t want to go so far away from his mother. Instead he knelt in the sand to make a sandcastle. _

* * *

“Yes.” Callen briefly closed his eyes and pushed back the emotion that the new memory brought forward. “She told us to have fun. Someone was coming to take us somewhere safe ... She was wrong.” Callen focused back on why he’d brought Sofia here.  “They’re gone. I want you to know they won’t hurt you again.” She’d spent forty years running, hiding and dreading them finding her. It was important to him that she didn’t feel that anymore.

“What about the one who was left?” Sofia asked. “Ilena wasn’t it?”

“She’s no threat,” Callen assured her. “She left the family a long time ago. Hated what they did. Helped us get someone on the inside.”

“Oh.” Sofia turned slightly and her gaze drifted up to the house. “Why here though? If they were there, isn’t it just like taking you to them?”

“Yeah.” It was something that had bothered him too since he’d realised where his mother had died and that the Comescu’s had lived nearby.  “Hetty was called off from the meeting. We don’t know why.” 

“Someone on the inside?” Sofia asked.

“It’s possible but it was a long time ago. I doubt I’ll ever get answers to what happened here.” Hetty didn’t know why either, though he suspected she’d yet to give up trying to find out. 

Sofia turned and studied him for a moment. “I could try-”

Callen shook his head and cut off her words. “No.” As much as he wanted to remember, he didn’t want that.

“Grisha -”

“No. I don’t want you to,” Callen said firmly. “You’ve been hurt enough and who knows what you might see.”

Sofia smiled. “If you really don’t want me to I won’t but I would like to help. You’ve given me so much.”

Callen shook his head again and Sofia gave a little nod of acknowledgement.  She reached up and cupped his cheek. “Very well, but if you change your mind...” she said softly. Callen caught her hand against his cheek and their eyes locked. 

“I won’t.” 

Thoughts of his mother, lost memories and his past slipped from Callen’s mind. She was so close. He was positive from the little things that had been between them this trip and over the two weeks before that she was interested in exploring where they could go on a personal level beyond friendship. His gaze dropped to her lips before returning to hers. Acceptance, interest, a flicker of heat that he recognised from that night that seemed so long ago. A night that was supposed to just be one night. A night that had changed his life in so many ways. Callen felt Sofia’s hand slide a little toward the back of his neck, a slight pressure to it inviting him forward. Her eyes dropped to his lips and back again. 

“Fi?” 

Sofia smiled and the space between them started to close.

A sudden gasp from Sofia broke the moment. Her eyes went wide and she started to fall. Callen caught her before she did and lowered them both to the sand.

“Fi, what’s wrong?”

Her breath was fast and she looked at him with those eyes that were still wide and glazed, like he’d seen those times when a memory pulled her into the past.

“Fi?”

She blinked and the haze disappeared. Her pale green eyes stayed wide and became full of something that he wasn’t expecting. Surprise and amazement.

“Fi?”

“Ilie and Darius,” she whispered her fingers gripping his arm tightly.

“Who?”

“The two men who took you all away from the camp.”

Callen thought back to the brief memory of being on the horse that night. It had become slightly clearer with time. “I remember someone with dark long hair. He was holding Amy on her horse that night. Someone was holding me but I didn’t see him. My mother was on one on her own.”

Sofia nodded. “Darius. Ilie must’ve been holding you. He had short hair, Darius long.”

Callen was pulled in two directions. Part of him not wanting to ask, not wanting to know if she’d seen something horrible, but the other part, the part that craved answers wanted to. She’d already seen it. Would it really hurt her anymore to share it with him?

Sofia didn’t give him a chance to ask. 

“You were looking at a small toy soldier, a sound made you turn to your mother. She was dead. You looked up and there was the shooter, his gun pointed at you.” Her breath stumbled and her voice lowered, a hint of pain to it. “You weren’t supposed to survive.”

Callen’s heart thudded in his chest. What had she seen?

“How did I?” he asked, not entirely sure he was ready for the answer.

“You were looking at him,” Sofia continued, “the shooter.”

Small flashes of the memory she was referring to kept flickering through Callen’s mind. Snapshots he could place in that memory but not full scenes. There didn’t seem to be an order to them. He couldn’t put it together alone.

“You were scared but before he could shoot, Ilie tackled him to the ground. Told you to run. You heard Darius call your name. You turned to him.” Sofia took a breath and Callen took over.

“He already had Amy.” The memory was right there but not quite fully in his reach. “Was coming to me. I started to run…” Callen tried but he couldn’t seem to place the next bit from the jumble in his mind. He stared at her, the words on the tip of his tongue to beg her to help him. She knew and he didn’t have to say it.

“You ran,” Sofia said, “and when you were almost to Darius there was a noise, just like the one you’d heard that made you look at your mother. You stopped and turned. The shooter was lying still, facedown in the sand. Illie was struggling to get up. Darius caught your hand and was starting to move to him but Ilie told him no. Told him to take you two and run.”

The memory was falling into place quickly with her help. Callen nodded. “There was a knife in his chest,” he said.

“Yes,” Sofia confirmed.

“He died.”

“I would assume so. He fell back down into the sand just as Darius started to pull you away.” 

Now he could remember the full memory. Darius had been pulling him along, trying to move them quickly but Callen’s small legs didn’t go fast enough so Darius had picked Callen up in his arms and run. Amy being older and taller had been able to keep up enough.

Something around his heart tightened - grief, pain, disbelief maybe. How many more people would he discover died because of this feud that had nothing to do with him? It started with his great grandfather and Callen had ended it but it hadn’t been confined to just his and the Comescu’s family. So many innocent people and lives destroyed.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” Callen pulled away from Sofia. At least he tried. She wouldn’t let him go and gave him a look that told him not to bother again. He stopped, unsure. He’d failed to protect her from further pain. This was why he hadn’t wanted her to try and look. Maybe it was a sign that he should walk away before he hurt her anymore. Memories for Sofia could be just as painful as something physical, perhaps even more so since she’d never forget where as physical pain would heal. But then physical pain would also leave a memory too.

“Why?” Sofia asked him quietly yet firmly.

It took Callen a moment to realise what she was asking of him. “More bad memories for you,” he answered.

Sofia shook her head. “No Grisha. That’s not what I take from that memory.”

“You saw more people die. People you knew. That must’ve hurt.”

“Oh my sweet protective Grisha.” Sofia smiled and rose from her knees. Callen stood too and before he could step away she had both his hands in hers making sure he stayed within her reach. Whatever this connection was between them seemed to give her an insight into him that not too many people had. It rivalled those who had managed to know him for a long time and well. Like Sam. Gibbs. Hetty almost but there were too many barriers to this kind of connection with Hetty.

“The deaths were a tragedy, yes.” Sofia held his gaze with hers. “But that isn’t what the memory truly shows.”

“Ilie died. My mother died.” Callen didn’t care that the shooter had died. “Why is it anyone connected to me seems to die?” 

That may be a slight exaggeration but it wasn’t far off it. Hetty had almost died coming here to protect him. How none of them ended up injured, or worse, when they’d attacked the Comescu compound Callen had no idea. How many times had Sam put himself on the line for him as well? Gibbs had done the same. Alina, Hunter, Renko. Who else was going to be hurt because of him?

“Why did Ilie die?” Sofia asked him.

“I ...” Callen couldn’t answer. He couldn’t say ‘because of me’ to her. What if it caused her to run, to get away from him so it didn’t happen to her? As much as he didn’t want her to be hurt because of him, he didn’t want to let her go from his life. Was he really such a selfish bastard?

“He was protecting you and Amy,” Sofia said firmly. “He and Darius stayed. They didn’t just deliver you to the meeting point and run. I’m guessing they wanted to make sure your mother met her contact safely. That you were all safe.” She squeezed his hand. “When she was shot, they would’ve realised it wasn’t the contact she was supposed to meet. That was when Ilie came to stop the shooter killing you. He protected you.”

“He died because of me.”

“No,” Sofia shook her head. “ _ Not _ because of you. He died because of them and because of the kind of man he was. He died  _ for  _ you and Amy. For two innocent children. And then Darius protected you. Somehow he must’ve got you far from their reach.”

“Why would they do that? For someone they barely knew?” Callen blinked back the tears. He wanted to turn his back on this conversation, try and forget the tally of deaths that just continued to go up because of him, his family. Because of something a man he’d never met had done.

“Because,” Sofia cupped his cheek and their eyes connected, “like you they were kind, loyal, caring and brave men.  I remember Ilie being there for Papa when Mama died. He would take Papa fishing or for a walk while his wife, Ana, would look after me.”

No. Not more to add. It was hard enough dealing with knowing all those who had been in the camp let alone adding connections and names to who they were. “Ilie had a wife?” Callen asked. "Children?" Even he could hear the despair in his voice.

“No children.” Sofia shook her head and Callen felt something akin to relief. “Not for them,” she continued, “but they looked after any child who needed extra help as if they were their own, including me.”

“His wife?”

Sofia’s look turned sad.  “A few months before you arrived at the camp Ana got very sick. She didn’t survive. It had nothing to do with you.”

The relief grew a little more with that revelation. 

“Darius? Did he have a family?

“No. I don’t know if there was someone but there was no wife or children for him.” Her voice lowered. “It was Darius who came that night to warn us all. My father told me. Darius is why we are still alive.”

Callen hated to ask the question but once the thought had taken root in his head he had to know. “Are you sure he wasn’t the traitor?” Someone had taken them to a place right under Comescu’s nose. Maybe...

“No he wasn’t.” Sofia shook her head. “No chance. If Darius was the traitor, with Ilie dead he had no one to witness anything he did. He could’ve just delivered you to them on the hill, or killed the two of you himself. But he didn’t. You’re here. That’s solid proof that Darius was not the traitor.”

Callen could tell she believed that with everything she had and so he did as well. 

Her other hand cupped his other cheek and Callen briefly closed his eyes at her touch. A tear fell from one closed eye and when her thumb caught it he opened and stared at her. 

“Is it any wonder you do what you do?” There was a tenderness in Sofia’s voice that reminded Callen of when she’d spoken to the deer in the meadow.

Callen frowned in confusion. “I do what I do because I’m good at being someone else. Life in foster care gave that to me.” 

There was a reason he didn’t tend to be himself with anyone. Protection. It had hurt too much to be him. The little boy with no parents, no family, not even ones he could remember. The little boy nobody seemed to want to keep. It was easier to be someone else and push the real him deep into a box and seal it. Only with her was it impossible to keep that box sealed. She pulled the real him out and he couldn’t do a thing about it. 

Yet with her, he didn’t seem to mind. With her, the pain was manageable. Perhaps with her, given time, he would heal and the pain would stop. It was already starting - he wasn’t the lost little boy with no family or no one to want him. He was looking at someone who did very much want him in her life back then and now. 

“Life gave you much more than that,” Sofia said, tears shined in her eyes. “Because if it didn’t you could just as easily have been something else. Even one of the bad guys. Being able to be someone else doesn’t automatically mean you are good. Before that part of your childhood, two men showed you a wonderful example of protecting the innocent. Which is what you do now.”

“I .. I get the bad guys more than that.” Callen was no hero. He just did what he was good at.

“And by taking down the bad guys, just like Ilie.” Sofia’s tone was firm and confident. “You protect the innocent. By helping protect those who are in trouble until they are safe again, you are just like Darius.” A few tears overflowed from her eyes and Callen saw the belief in what she was saying shining in her eyes behind those tears that had yet to fall.

“I didn’t want you to see more bad things,” Callen told her. “You’ll never forget it.” If she stayed with him, there was a risk she’d see more memories of his; things he didn’t even want to remember because of how dark they were.

“I don’t want to forget it.”

Callen frowned. “Why not? I do.” He would love to forget how many people had died because of his family.

“Grisha, don’t you think Ilie and Darius deserve to have their bravery and courage remembered?”

It was like a sudden blow to the stomach that came out of nowhere. It hit him swiftly and unexpectedly that she was right. Callen didn’t want to remember that more people had died to protect him. But when you looked at it from a different perspective, it was a wonderful thing. Two men who barely knew them had sacrificed everything in an attempt to keep his mother, Amy and himself safe. They could just as easily have walked away and saved themselves but they didn’t. Weren’t they men that a young boy would want to aspire to be like? Good and brave, courageous and giving.  

“You’re right. They do,” Callen admitted.

“Perhaps one day you’ll remember what happened to Darius.” Sofia let her hand drop from his cheek and rested it on his chest. “And more but for now, know this. Those two men were some of the most unselfish men I have ever had the privilege to know.” Her thumb rubbed gently over his heart. “Just like you.” 

Callen put his hand over hers on his chest. “You almost died because of me.”

Sofia shook her head. “I almost died because of them. Not you.”

“You stay in my life, there will be enemies who want to hurt me. They’ll come after you.”

Sofia raised an eyebrow and stared into his eyes. “And you would just let them take me?”

“No! I’d find you. Always.” His response was instantly pulled from him. It surprised him in the force behind it and the quick shaft of pain that flared at the thought of someone taking her. Yet he knew his response was pure and true. “You just left that life of looking over your shoulder behind. You can’t want to do it again.”

“No,” Sofia admitted and Callen’s heart stuttered in his chest before speeding up. He’d just opened the door for her to walk away and he instantly wished he hadn’t. 

“I don’t want to live a life looking over my shoulder,” Sofia said, her other hand coming to rest over the top of their hands that were still held against his chest. “But I do want to live the rest of it with my friend - with you - in my life.”

“You can’t -” Sofia shook her head and he stopped.

“I choose this life this time, Grisha. I choose  _ not  _ to lose you again.” Her voice softened. “I didn’t get the choice before. Don’t you think that after everything I’ve been through I deserve to choose how I live my life from now on?”

Callen nodded, not able to say anything. His throat and chest were tight and there was an overwhelming feeling of relief that she hadn’t taken him up on his offer.

Sofia pulled her hands from his, put her arms around his neck and pulled him close. Callen’s arms slipped around her waist and tightened, bringing her body flush against his. 

“Then I choose this,” Sofia whispered right next to his ear. “With you ... To have you, someone that I have always been free to be who I really am, in my life.” Her head settled on his shoulder and she held him tight. “I choose you.” Her words whispered over the skin of his neck and went straight to his heart.

Tears fell from his eyes. Callen let them, knowing that the way they were right now, she wouldn’t see them. Then he smiled. She might not see them but he had no doubt she knew they were there.

Because she knew him and he couldn’t hide from her. 

He didn’t want to hide. Not from her


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School holidays are messing with my me time! Sorry for the delay. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

 

His tears had stopped; more than he would normally let fall though less than he was sure were there. Callen had given in to the moment of not exactly weakness but perhaps vulnerability or honesty and let them come … for a small amount of time. Sofia had chosen him and that had reached right into his heart. Not many people did, not many people were given the chance, so it wasn’t surprising that something like that would affect him with her right there, refusing to let him hide from her, refusing to walk away; choosing to stay and fight for him.

The feel of Sofia’s warm breath on his neck brought Callen’s thoughts to what he felt for her. He recognised the childhood friendship. The urge to protect and to be there for her was just as strong as he remembered his little self wanting to make her happy and smile. Even back when they were children her smile had made him feel something, though then it was totally innocent. It seemed that any time Callen remembered something where she was smiling, so was he. A rarity for his childhood memories until the ones with her had come back to his mind. It now made sense why her smile in the restaurant when she’d been taking care of the customers was familiar. He’d seen it many times in the months they’d been together as children.

Callen also felt the connection from the night they’d spent together in a totally different way.  

He knew he wanted more than he had with her right now, though he’d take it if it was all he’d get. The bond between them had strengthened with this trip to Romania and facing their past together.

He knew she wanted more with him too. That had been clearly evident with the almost kiss. But suddenly he was nervous, unsure. Or perhaps it was simply protective. She’d already lost so much because of his family and he didn’t want to be the cause of her hurting again if things didn’t work out. Then came the question of what exactly did he want more of? There were so many ways they could be more. He wanted to be sure.

Was it more of the friendship? A chance to see what they might’ve been if their worlds hadn’t been torn apart. To have someone know him, the real him and not be held away by the walls he had so effectively built around himself - walls she’d seemed to be able to walk straight through.

Or was more the physical connection? The attraction was still there. He wasn’t going to deny that. As good as he was at lying to others, and even himself, he wasn’t even going to try regarding this. Their night together had had a promise connected to it - a one night only physical encounter (because a relationship of any kind needed more than one night). A promise that fate, if you believed in that kind of thing, had intervened and made sure that one night was not all. Whatever it was, he was grateful for the intervention.

Callen didn’t regret that night but he knew that to continue with a physical relationship with Sofia would have to come within a proper relationship - the kind of relationship he’d never been good at. The kind between a man and a woman with a future in mind. He knew what he felt for Sofia was different, more solid, more real than anything he’d had in the other relationships he’d attempted. He was more him and less someone else. He wasn’t looking for a way out. He wanted to stay, to share and be open and not hide - and felt like he could actually do that with her. It was a strange yet familiar feeling that freedom to be himself. Strange because he rarely let it happen with people. Familiar because he now knew he’d always felt that freedom with her.

Sofia lifted her head from his shoulder and shifted just a little back, though she stayed within his arms. Her fingers wiped away the tears that had silently fallen from her eyes before she did the same to his and then rested her hands on his shoulders.

“What’s happening Fi?” Callen asked her.

Sofia looked confused. “What do you mean?”

She’d said he was brave. He took a breath and was. “You and me. What are we? What’s happening?”

“Freedom. Hope.” Sofia smiled. “Friendship.”

Callen understood freedom was important to her. After the life she had lived she was finally free to be herself, free to not be scared. Free to live the life she wanted without the Comescu’s causing a shadow to be haunting her every move.

Free to chose.

Callen felt the freedom too. He had more of his memories, more of his life that he understood even if it was just a small portion of it.

More of his mother.

And then there was the hope for a future brighter and clearer than their past.

“Friendship?” That was the tricky one. “Is that all? After that night?” Callen asked her.

Sofia lifted her hand from his shoulder and gently cupped his cheek, her thumb gently stroked it, just like she had before many times in the present and in the memories from their childhood together.

“Grisha, this connection has been between us for a long time. That night together doesn’t define who we are to each other now or where we have to go in the future.”

That response did nothing to ease Callen’s mind. “You want to forget it happened?” he asked.

A look that was decidedly not just friendship appeared on Sofia’s face. She shook her head.

“No. How could I forget such an incredible night with a man who was so giving? No. I don’t intend to forget.” She frowned. “You?” There was a tentativeness to her question, a hint of worry and his eased.

“No. Not sure incredible quite cuts it. That night was well beyond.” He knew why now. She wasn’t the stranger he’d thought. The connection that was between them was there from the beginning just not consciously known to either of them.

A blush rose on her cheeks and sparkle shone in her eyes. “You know how to flatter a girl.”

“Not flattery. Just the truth.  But… ”

When he didn’t continue she prompted him. “But what Grisha?” Her hand slipped from his cheek back to his shoulder.

Callen couldn’t answer. To ask the question brought the risk that she would tell him no she didn’t want more. After everything that had happened today, even though he felt so sure she wanted more too, he wasn’t prepared to deal with the potential fallout from a different than expected answer. And that reaction gave Callen the answer to what he wanted more of with her. Everything. Friends, lovers, more. Because, unlike all the other times in his past where he’d given that relationship path a try, this time she knew who he was, the walls were non-existent and he was willing, wanting, to give it everything.

“Where we go from here,” Sofia’s words were quiet, “is up to us. We were friends a long time ago and if it weren’t for ….” She swallowed and took a breath before she continued, “The Comescu’s stealing that from us who knows where we would’ve been now.”

Callen knew Sofia still struggled with saying their name without fear. She tended to avoid it so hearing her say it the few times this trip told him she was making progress and he was very glad about it.

“Grisha,” Sofia said, “I want you in my life. I told you that. When you were taken from me, it tore a part of my heart out and there’s been this wound and ache there ever since. I learned to live with it thinking you were dead and there was nothing to be done to heal it. Time doesn’t help with the way I remember. But now.” One of Sofia’s hands slipped from its spot on his shoulder, though the warmth from her touch lingered, and reached for one of his hands and linked her fingers with his. “You’re back and that feeling ... that ache, hurt, the hole ... it’s gone. I know we were young but you knew me like no one else.”

“We were young,” Callen agreed. “Was it really that strong?”

How could two five year olds who were only together six months create such a bond that seemed to stand the test of such a long time apart? Through such traumatic experiences that they had both lived through? How was that even possible?  Yet he knew it was, the proof was standing right in front of him. The connection with her so much more than the time they’d spent together should give.

Sofia smiled. “Children tend to view things differently to adults. Adults look deeper, question, hold back until time has proven things. Children look for acceptance, fun, understanding. Most of the other children were wary of me in the camp. Because they knew what I was, what my gifts could be and do, they held back. Most refused to even look me in the eye. You didn’t. You accepted me as I was.”

“Did I know what you could do? Did you tell me?”

Sofia nodded. “In the meadow I’d tell you stories about things that had happened before you arrived. I told you that my memory was very good. That I rarely forgot anything. It was the simplest way to put it into words at the time. You loved that I could remember so clearly. You said it almost made you feel like you were there.” She rested her head against his shoulder and Callen’s arms slipped back around her.

“We’d sit in the meadow or by the stream,” Sofia continued, “talk and watch the butterflies and bees fly from flower to flower or the dragonflies hover above the water. We’d listen to the birds.” Her arms tightened around him and her voice lowered. “I remember telling you that it was scary seeing other people's souls and memories. You told me I didn’t have to look. And when I said I didn’t know how to stop you said I just had to keep trying until I found a way. You were right.”

“Sounds like I was a wise little boy.”  Little flashes of those times she was speaking of flittered through his mind and brought a smile to his face.

Sofia lifted her head and laughed softly. “You were. You were so giving and so brave, loyal, fun and accepting. Not like the other children.”

“Is that why they were never around? Why it was just us?” He still had no memories of major interaction with the other children. He couldn’t even recall any of their names.

“I was different. I knew it. They knew it.” Sofia shrugged. “Not everyone likes different. Sure I’d play with them but it usually happened when an adult directed us to do something in particular. If we were left to our own then they would eventually slip away. It was better being alone than worrying about what they were thinking about me.”

“What did your father say about that?”

Sophia shook her head. “Another thing I kept from him.”

“Why? I’m sure he would’ve wanted to know. Maybe he could’ve done something about it.”

“I loved him. I didn’t want him to hurt because of me. If I was hurting it would hurt him.”

And it was that simple sentence that told Callen the other children’s actions had hurt her. She might try and pass off being alone being better but Callen knew her. The little girl who was so happy with his company wouldn’t be completely happy on her own or without a good friend to share things with.

Sofia smiled and caught his gaze with hers. “And then you came along and I didn’t need anyone else.”

“Because I was different too?”

Sofia shrugged. “Maybe. I saw your soul and knew you. I liked what I saw, but I remember being worried you wouldn’t like me, especially once you knew about me. But I held what I saw in your soul, so similar to Papa, and he liked me so I was brave.”

“The Comescu’s didn’t kill him,” Callen told her, taking the opening her confession had given him. “We’d already taken them down but I had someone look into it.” Abbey had looked into things for him, used her contacts to find out the truth. “There was a missed diagnosis on his tests, a faulty valve in his heart. The autopsy would’ve picked it up but because of his age-”

“And,” Sofia said, “because I didn’t want them to do one. I wanted it over so I could escape.”

“Fi, I’m sorry I can’t give you answers about your son.” Callen tucked her hair behind her ear. “But at least I can give you this.”

At least she could rest easy knowing that she hadn’t lost her father because of them, because of him. The lack of information and the length of time since Gregory’s death was against Callen.  He didn’t want to tell her that he felt almost certain that someone had targeted either her son or her father. The animal on the road hadn’t been a pet or a naturally occuring one in that area.

“And that I am safe.” Sofia’s words brought Callen’s thoughts back to the present. “That I am free,” she added. “And that you _are_ back in my life?” The last was a question.

Callen nodded and smiled. “If you want me to be.”

“Of course I do. I’ve gone too long without you and I won’t let you go without fighting for our friendship.”

“Friendship,” Callen repeated.

Sofia nodded with that soft sweet smile that he knew so well from his childhood gracing her face. “Friendship,” she confirmed. “A perfect place to start no matter where moving forward takes us. You were my best friend Grisha, my one true friend. I want that again.”

* * *

 

_“Will you always be my friend?” Sofia asked him tentatively. There was so much hope in her pale green eyes and Grisha nodded._

_“Always,” he told her_

_“Promise?” she whispered._

_It was almost like she was afraid he would turn away from her. Leave her alone like the other children did. Grisha held up his little finger and took her hand in his other one and encouraged her to link her little finger with his. It was something his mother did with them._

_“I promise. Best Friends,” he said._

_“Forever.”_

* * *

 

Callen lifted his hand, held out his pinky finger. “Aren’t we already?” How else do you describe a relationship where you have no need to be anything but yourself? One where both parties accept each other as they are? Protect the other with everything they have? Where just the thought of the other not being there caused an ache inside somewhere close to your heart?

“You remember.” Sofia raised her hand and linked her pinky finger with his, they locked around each others. It seemed childish, unless you had the context.

A shared memory, a promise innocently made yet made with everything they had in them at the time.

One that had stood the test of separation and time.


	16. Chapter 16

It was a Friday night and Callen was determined to take advantage of the sudden close of the intricate case they’d been working on for the better part of a week. He and Sofia had returned from Romania to a flurry of activity that had kept them too busy to pursue anything on a more personal level. 

While they had been away Hetty had set the wheels in motion for Sofia to take back her identity. The paperwork and interviews required for that had been intensive, especially as Hetty had been determined to have it done as quickly as possible to let Sofia be able to move forward with her life. Callen didn’t think he’d underestimated Hetty in a very long time but he certainly wouldn’t have thought that in the space of less than two weeks the red tape would be complete and Sofia Elena-Maria Antoneanu would officially be a citizen of the USA complete with the correct records of her birth.

Though he was reluctant to put it into words to Sam, knowing there would be the appropriate teasing from his married partner and that Deeks would surely catch on, Callen missed Sofia. He didn’t have a problem admitting it to himself though. So much of his time since she’d come back into his life had revolved around either finding her or exploring their past together, that feeling wasn’t unexpected. So when everything had come to a close earlier this afternoon he’d jumped at the chance to see her. Whether it ended up just being dinner or something else would depend on how the conversation he had planned for tonight went. He’d sent her a text inviting her to dinner and then, after she’d answered yes, he’d hammered out his report on the case faster than he usually did. Hetty had given him a dubious look when he’d handed it over an hour ago as if she didn’t believe he’d done an accurate job. He had. He wasn’t risking Hetty raking him over the coals for a poorly done report - or worse, calling him in on the weekend to fix it. He’d told her he had plans and asked not to be disturbed.  A knowing smile had spread across Hetty’s face but he’d left before she could make any comment. One awkward conversation with Hetty about his sex life was enough to last a lifetime.

Now Callen sat at the table he’d been at the first time he’d met Sofia - at least as an adult - and waited, his eyes firmly on the door and a certain vibe emanating from him that was particularly effective at keeping the single women in the room away from him this time. 

Right at the agreed upon time Sofia walked through the door of the restaurant. Callen watched as she was ushered to the table that she had also occupied that first night - just as he’d requested. His eyes roved over her and noted the now familiar movement of her body. He could see the subtle differences compared to last time. To most there would’ve been no difference but to him, knowing what he knew now adding to his already exceptional awareness skills, he saw the lack of tension and alertness in her, saw how relaxed and comfortable she was compared to that previous time.  He also saw the twitch of lips that indicated there was a smile she was attempting to hold back.

Callen chuckled quietly to himself when he noted the determination Sofia showed not to look in the mirror.  She knew he was there, that much he was sure of. The fact that she was dressed exactly the same as last time also gave him hope that she was thinking similar thoughts as to what they were wanting to come from tonight. He took a sip of his drink and continued to watch as the waiter delivered the drink he’d ordered to her. 

Sofia’s gaze lifted to the mirror after the waiter had left and Callen saw the definite sparkle in her eyes. A smile lifted at the corners of her mouth and there was a curious tilt to her eyebrows. She kept her eyes on his as she gathered the drink and her bag from the table, only breaking the connection when she finally turned away from the mirror but it was reestablished almost instantly, this time directly. She moved to his table and indicated to the chair opposite.

“May I?” There was a hint of amusement and something else in her voice but that gentle caress was still there and Callen’s body responded just as it had that first night.

“Please,” he replied.

“Thank you for the drink.”

“You’re welcome.” 

Her pale green eyes sparkled and the red lipstick brought his attention to her mouth. He had no doubt he’d enjoy the process of removing it, if he was lucky. They stared at each other for a moment before Sofia took a sip of her drink, perhaps in an attempt to hold back the smile that was trying to break through.

“Why?” she asked.

“Why what?” Callen followed and kept his words the same as their last time here.

“Why have you been watching me all night?” 

He smiled and changed the script. “You’ve only just arrived but I would like to watch you all night.”

The smile broke free and Sofia laughed. “Really? Just watch?”

The words to the answer stalled on Callen’s tongue as the nerves kicked in, the doubt. Why would she want him? Why would anyone with the baggage that came with his past and present? He gave himself a mental shake to get rid of the thoughts that had always been in back in his subconscious mind, thoughts that usually affected how open he was with someone. He already knew that they didn’t apply to her. Their relationship was very different to that with anyone else in his life.

Sofia took another sip. “What is it you want from me?” Her eyes flicked, barely perceptively but Callen still saw it, to his lips as her tongue caught the drop of drink that had remained on her bottom lip.

His body reacted intensely to the reminder of what had come after their previous version of this conversation. She could still affect him with just a look of promise of what could be. He hoped he could still do the same to her. 

Her eyes lifted back to look at his, an expectant look in them that reminded him he’d yet to answer her.

“You. Me.” Callen left off the one night.

“Sex?”

No, that wasn’t quite the answer tonight even if it was part of it. “More than that.”

“Why?” Sofia leaned forward and their eyes locked again.

“Why?” 

“Why me?” she asked him. 

Callen leaned closer but restrained himself from taking her hand. “Aside from the obvious attraction?”

“Aside from that. Attraction doesn’t necessarily mean more is a good idea.” 

Callen pushed away those annoyingly determined doubts. “Because with you, I’m me.”

“And you like that?”

“Yes.” Callen smiled. “Don’t you?” 

Yes, he liked the freedom being with her brought, the trust of knowing that they weren’t being someone else; didn’t have to be. He suspected she felt the same now she was finally free to be Sofia rather than Felicity or Marie.

Sofia smiled and ran her finger around the top of her glass, reminiscent of last time. Callen swallowed and took some slow controlling breaths. He had the distinct impression there were two conversations going on at the moment - one with words and one without. He was enjoying both.

“I do.” Sofia trailed that same finger over his fingers of the back hand that was resting on the table. “Why do you want more?”

It was serious question from her even if the tone was flirty. Callen turned his hand over and she ran her fingers over his palm. He felt the heat from the touch she kept so light he could barely feel it. Their eyes stayed locked.

“I -

“Callen. My friend. Good to see you again.”

Callen’s gaze was pulled from Sofia’s with the thump of a hand on his shoulder and he shot a frustrating glare at the man now standing next to them.

“Arkady.” The man’s timing was appalling.

“So,” Arkady looked between him and Sofia, “you will to introduce me to your lovely companion yes?”

The thought, not if I can help it, ran briefly through Callen’s mind but before he could say anything Arkady took it upon himself.

“My dear. Arkady Kolcheck, friend of G’s.”

“Debatable,” Callen murmured quietly though the look Sofia shot him said it wasn’t quite quiet enough.

Arkady held out his hand to her and Sofia politely put hers in his. “Ah, the eyes. He found you. Felicity yes?” 

Callen shook his head. “Yes I found her but it’s not Felicity. Sofia. Sofia Antoneanu.”

“Beautiful name for beautiful woman.” Akady bent slightly and brought her fingers to his lips for a kiss.

Callen saw the look of amusement flitter across Sofia’s face and oddly felt relief that she wasn’t falling for Arkady’s smooth lines - he was definitely a charmer as his string of wives and girlfriends (though Callen wasn’t quite sure that was the word to describe them) attested to that part of his personality.

“Thank you,” Sofia replied politely and removed her hand from Arkady’s. “How do you know about Felicity.” While the question seemed to be directed at Arkady, her gaze slid to Callen.

“I went to Arkady,” Callen answered. “I thought he might be able to help me find you.”

Sofia lifted an eyebrow, curiosity in her expression. 

“Arkady knows a lot of things,” Callen added. There was emphasis on things and he saw in her eyes understanding.

“Let’s say,” Arkady added, “used to be in relocation services.”

Sofia looked back at Callen. He knew the question in her eyes and nodded.

Callen watched as Sofia smiled and rose from her seat. She stepped close to Arkady and kissed him lightly on the cheek, leaving a startled look on the man’s face before a flirtatious smile spread across it.

“Thank you,” Sofia said to Arkady, her tone full of gratefulness. “I can only hope you understand just how much what you did for those like me meant to us.”

Arkady seemed at a loss for words and Callen would just about bet the man was close to blushing. Sofia sat back down and Callen saw Arkady give himself a physical shake before he finally spoke again. “I’m pleased to see he found you.”

“Arkady,” Callen tilted his head toward a table a few places away and the woman who was looking at Sofia with definite dislike in her eyes. “I think your date is getting a bit jealous.”

Arkady glanced over and gave her a little wave before he turned his attention back to Callen and Sofia. “Not to worry. I make up to her later.” Arkady lifted a eyebrow and there was a twinkle in his eyes. “I know what makes woman forgive little lack of attention.”

“Something expensive and shiny?” Callen remarked.

Sofia held back a laugh.

“Doesn’t have to be object. I more than capable myself.”

Callen almost choked on the sip of drink he’d mistakenly taken after his comment. This time Sofia didn’t stop the soft laugh and Callen couldn’t help but smile at the sound.

Arkady turned his attention back to Sofia.

“If he,” Arkady indicated Callen, “fails to fulfill your needs I more than happy to try.”

Sofia’s eyes went wide in shock and Callen kicked Arkady in the leg. The older man made a slight noise of pain but barely shifted to show what had happened except to turn his head and glare at Callen.

Before Callen could tell him off for his blatant flirting with someone else when his date was a mere four tables away and could probably hear what was being said, Sofia smiled and responded.

“Thank you however I have very ...” Sofia looked at Callen, mischief and heat mixed in her eyes, “specific needs and there’s only one who can satisfy them.”

There was a sound from Arkady Callen chose to interpret as one of approval before Arkady said, “He lucky man then.”

“Yes I am now go back to your date Arkady. Let me take care of mine.”

Arkady chuckled and walked away but he turned back a few steps away and said, “I expect invitation to wedding.” Then he winked.

Sofia coughed and then murmured, “I think he’s a few steps ahead of us.”

Callen didn’t reply. He was still looking at Arkady’s now retreating back.

“Grisha?” Sofia queried softly.

Callen pulled his gaze back to her. “It was him.”

“Him?” Sofia looked at Arkady and then back to Callen. 

“In Moscow. The man who Darius convinced to give us passage on the train and boat. It was Arkady.”

On the way back from Romania on the flight he’d woken from a dream he’d known instantly wasn’t a dream but a new memory.  Darius had got them to Moscow somehow and negotiated their passage to the United States. They’d travelled by train, which Callen suspected had been the Trans Siberian Railway through to Vladivostok followed by a boat that had brought them into Los Angeles. It had taken Darius some time to convince the man in Moscow to let him work for their tickets but thankfully he’d succeeded. Unfortunately Darius hadn’t survived the boat trip, an illness Callen couldn’t name had taken more than just him. When Amy and Callen had arrived in Los Angeles they had been split up. With no adult to fight for them, his last memory of Amy was both of them screaming for the other as she was taken in one direction and he in another. Why they were split when it was obvious they were together Callen didn’t think he’d ever find out. It seemed that loss had been too much for his younger self and his mind had shut down all the memories prior to his arrival at that first orphanage. His initial and last name on a small paper tag attached to his shirt the only thing giving the orphanage staff something to go on for a name.

“Are you sure?” Sofia asked.

Callen nodded. “Positive.”  It was the wink that had helped Callen make the connection. The same wink that was in his memory from the man in Moscow who had walked away after agreeing but had turned back to look at them. He’d winked at the small boy Callen had been. There’d been something about the man Callen hadn’t been able to place from the memory until just now with that simple action. 

“Do you think he knows it was you?”

“It’s Arkady,” Callen said with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s hard to tell. If he does then he’s got a reason for not telling me.” Arkady always had a reason behind his actions - or non-actions.

“Maybe it was too long ago,” Sofia suggested. “You were much younger and you don’t look a lot like you did as a child.”

Callen pulled his attention back to her rather than his memories and Arkady. “Yet you recognised me.”

“I recognised your soul, not your looks.”

“You only want me for my soul?” Callen had a reason for being here tonight and it was time to get back on track.

Sofia reached for his hand and linked their fingers, her warm, small and soft. His larger and rough. “Looks change,” Sofia said. “Souls don’t generally.”

Callen wasn’t quite sure he agreed with her completely on that. “People change,” he said. “I’m not good with relationships.”

“Yes you are.”

“Not this kind.”

“You have good friends. Of course you are. Sam. Hetty. Arkady.”

“Of the more kind,” Callen clarified. “They don’t tend to last.”

“Were you the same with them as you are with me?” Sofia asked him.

“No.” 

Sofia squeezed his hand gently. “Then don’t compare me to them or us to you and them,” she told him. “What we have is unique to us.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Callen admitted. It was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. 

“Life can hurt. So can love. I swore I’d never love anyone like I did you. Losing you was …”

There was a sheen of tears to her eyes and Callen’s heart thumped hard in his chest at the words that rarely connected him with someone else.

“When my classmates were falling over themselves to get the cute guys to notice,” Sofia continued. “I just wanted to hide. My heart still ached and hurt for you. I wasn’t going to let anyone close enough to have that kind of power again.”

“Not even Jonathon?”

“Not even Jonathon,” Sofia confirmed.

“Have you thought…..”

Sofia frowned when he paused yet she didn’t push, just waited patiently for him to continue.

“About getting back with him now you are free.” It hadn’t been easy to say but it had been in his thoughts and Callen would rather get it out in the open than wonder any longer.

“As Felicity I loved him,” Sofia defined, “but not enough to give him the power to shatter me. I kept everyone far enough away that I would survive if I lost them.”

After a few moments where Callen didn’t know what to say Sofia continued. “There’s only been one other who had that power,” she admitted quietly. The look in her eyes was enough to tell Callen who that was.

“Gregory.” 

Sofia nodded. “He didn’t give me the choice, he had my whole heart from the first time I heard his heartbeat and when he died I … I was broken. I couldn’t see past the pain, except to the fear that they were coming and had taken him. Papa tried but I was falling down deeper and deeper.”

“What happened to bring you back?”

“A mother and a son’s love is an amazing thing. I saw my mother again in my dreams. She was worried but she wanted me to know that she was getting to know her grandson and that he was safe with her. But that he was sad. He didn’t want me to give up. That I still had life to enjoy. Things to do, people to love, even some who would need me, if I could just give life a chance again.”

Sofia brushed away the tears that had fallen, tears that Callen wasn’t close enough to take care of though he wanted to.

“Hard to give up after that,” Sofia admitted. “So I found my way back and, because I knew where he was, it didn’t hurt so much and the pain eventually eased enough that I could remember times with him without it hurting.  Grisha, there’s nothing you can do to stop life and love hurting. All you can do is try and focus on the good. Make the most of the opportunities with the ones you love.”

“You’ve lived a life watching over your shoulder.” Losing those you loved because of me, though Callen didn’t say that part. “Becoming involved with me will mean more of that. I have enemies. Are you sure you want to keep this going?”

“I am already involved,” Sofia said, “and do I need to remind you we’ve already discussed the dangers that come with this friendship.”

“No.”

“Then I shouldn’t need to remind you that I chose willing to accept that.”

“The more involved we become the higher that risk is, the bigger the target you become.”

“Grisha.” Sofia’s tone was serious and firm. “If you want to walk away, then tell me. But I will not let you go unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you no longer want my friendship or me in your life -  _ and  _ make me believe it.”

Telling her he didn’t want her in his life, making her believe it. That Callen could probably do, but not while looking into her eyes. She’d see the truth too easily.

Sofia shifted forward slightly and focused on his eyes. Callen moved closer too. He knew there was no point lying to her. It was something that they’d already discussed. She understood he couldn’t tell her everything and all she’d requested was that he didn’t lie to her and if it meant telling her he couldn’t tell her about something she would happily accept that. 

“What if I look you in the eye and tell you I want more?” Callen asked doing just that.

Sofia smiled. “More of what?”

Callen reached out and took her hand, eyes still focused on hers.

“This is different, you and me,” Callen said. “I’m me with you. Something about you … can’t be someone else.”

“I know who you really are deep inside. There’s no reason to be someone else.”

“Sometimes better than I know myself.” She had the advantage there of having seen his soul.

“Still doesn’t tell me why you want more.” Sofia smiled again, a knowing one. Callen’s lips turned up in response.

“Because as good as this is, it’s not enough,” Callen admitted. 

The waiter came up right at that moment and asked if they were ready to order. 

“Not yet,” Callen replied not taking his eyes of her.

Sofia waited until the waiter was out of earshot before she spoke softly. “We agreed on honesty right?”

“Yes.” Callen wasn’t quite sure where this was going but he could at least answer this question easily.

“I don’t want dinner,” Sofia added as she reached into her small bag and brought out a key card. Callen raised an eyebrow and felt the heat from her eyes heat his body too. “At least not here.”

“Is that...”

Sofia nodded. “Same room. One night.”

“One night?” His mind couldn’t quite wrap around that idea considering their conversation.

“One night to fix the mistakes of last time.”

“Mistakes?” 

Sofia stood up, moved to Callen’s side and tilted his head up to look at her with a gentle touch of her fingers on his chin. He refused to let his gaze drop to the neckline of her dress that was right at eye level and would no doubt be a very enticing view. He suspected he’d get plenty more chances to check that sight out but this conversation was for right now.

“Only two mistakes,” Sofia said softly. “One the wake up.” She smiled. “I’m sure we can do much better this time.” So was he but his pounding heart was determined to give him doubts.

“Fi, what if-” He stopped. 

“What if more doesn’t work?” Sofia finished for him proving that she did indeed know him.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“Grisha,” her thumb brushed his cheek. “Forty years apart, thinking you were dead and you not remembering me couldn’t break this connection between us. Are you planning on doing something terrible to destroy it?”

“No.” She had a very valid point.

“Just because,” Sofia continued, “we see what else we can be isn’t going to change that foundation. Do you want to live the rest of our lives wondering - regretting - not seeing what else we could have together?”

“No.”

“We’ll only regret it if we don’t try.” Sofia’s eyes dropped to his lips and then back up again. “I’m not particularly fussed on the idea of having any more regrets.” Her voice lowered. “You’re not the only one who feels this way. I need you, want more of you.”

Her eyes dropped to his lips and she leaned closer to brush hers lightly over his. It wasn’t enough and before she could pull back Callen had his hand behind her head, buried in her hair, to hold her close. The kiss deepened and he was tasting her and reminding himself of how addictive, and how right, she felt to him. It had been far too long since he’d had her like this. A mistake he definitely wouldn’t make again. He rose from his seat, the kiss remained unbroken as he did so. His free arm slipped around her waist and pulled her against him.

“Definitely proves last time wasn’t just luck,” Sofia murmured in a voice that held more than a hint of the passion that had passed between them when the kiss finally ended. She smiled. “I really don’t think taking this next step is something we’ll want to come back from,” she whispered.

Somehow neither did her. 

“I do believe we kissed before we left her last time. Next?” Callen asked with a smile.

“Not in here we didn’t. We danced first.”

“Do you want to dance?”

“No.”

“So,” Callen ran a thumb slowly over her bottom, still kiss swollen, lip as he spoke. “Mistake number one I’m more than happy to fix. What came before, very happy to repeat,” he told her. “Mistake number two I think I’m going to need a little help with identifying.”

Sofia’s smile was heated, her eyes almost glowing and her body shifted so it was against his more intimately as she still continued to look into his eyes.

“Names,” Sofia whispered and her tongue flick over his thumb that was still brushing her lips. Callen bit back the groan but kept his eyes locked on hers. “Definitely names this time,” she finished.

Callen swallowed and pulled his mind from the memory of a certain dream though his body’s reaction didn’t ease.

Sofia picked up her bag and Callen picked up the keycard before they walked away from the table toward the door. Just after they had passed by Arkady’s table Callen stopped. He turned Sofia around in his arms to face him and raised the key card. 

“Did you leave anything in the room?”

Sofia shook her head. “No. It was a spur of the moment decision on my way here.” Callen raised an eyebrow. Sofia smiled. “No, I don’t regret making it.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course. Why?”

Callen dropped his arms from around her and stepped back to Arkady. He slipped the key card in the man’s shirt pocket before he whispered the room number and hotel name in Arkady’s ear and stepped back. “Enjoy and thank you.”

“For what?” Arkady looked confused and Callen enjoyed the usual moment. It was usually the other way around.

“Just thank you.” Callen turned back to Sofia and ushered her out the door, his arms rested comfortably across her shoulders. Outside the door in the same location as the kiss from last time he pulled her back into his arms, her body flush against his.

“So one night?”

“To get more started.”

“No regrets?”

“Never.” Her tone made that one word a promise to him.

Callen slipped his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss - a repeat of the first one they’d had in this spot but more. This time they knew exactly who they were.

When Callen eased their lips apart and he brought his fingers to her lips and traced them. He let his mind clear a little from the haze of passion from the kiss. 

“Come home with me,” Callen asked her.

He didn’t want to take her to the hotel room. As much as it held good memories and he was more than happy for the night to go as planned, she wasn’t like Arkady’s hook ups. She wasn’t his hook up. Not this time. She was more than that and home was where he wanted to take her. It felt right.

Sofia stilled at his words, then smiled. She reached up and touched his cheek. “I am.” She brushed a gentle kiss over his lips, nothing heated like before but Callen felt it right down into his soul.

“With you I am home,” she whispered.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Only three chapters left so will try and post each day to get it done. They're all written but I think if I posted all three now, there'd be some confusion.
> 
> Enjoy a little time with Callen and Hetty in this one.

* * *

Callen rang Hetty’s doorbell and waited patiently.  It didn’t take long for his small, though only in physical stature, boss to answer the door.

“Mr Callen, what a pleasant surprise. Come in. Where is Sofia tonight?” Hetty stepped back and Callen walked through the door handing Hetty a box of her favourite chocolates. Her eyebrows raised in question at the gift.

“I haven’t done anything wrong Hetty. They are just a gift. Marco called and asked if Sofia could work, some staff are off sick. I thought since I was on my own I’d come and see you. It’s been a while since we talked.”

Sofia was still working for Marco though not many nights and not for the same reasons as she used to. She enjoyed working for him and giving back to him the support he had given her over the last couple of years as Marie. Choosing a career path now she was free to really settle was proving to be a touch challenging with her gifts and Callen made sure she knew she could take her time and didn’t have to worry about money. She’d moved in with him two weeks after their second ‘date’. Her lease on her apartment had been up for renewal and he didn’t see the point in her being somewhere else.

“It’s been an eventful few months,” Hetty noted as they moved into the sitting room.

“Not all good unfortunately.”

Finding Sofia, gaining memories and her friendship had been a highlight. Losing Michelle had been, and was still, a dark place for the team, especially Sam. But they were working their way through it together. Sofia was giving him a comforting place to fall apart when he needed to, which in turn gave him the strength to give Sam what he needed from him.

“No.”

There was a comfortable silence for a moment while Hetty prepared drinks for them both.

“So,” Hetty started. “Sofia.”

Callen lifted an eyebrow and waited for Hetty to continue as he took a sip of the smooth whiskey and felt the warmth slowly blossom in his chest from its effects.

“Why her?” Hetty asked after she had done the same. “What is it about her that has you, my lone wolf, happy with a mate.”

Callen chuckled softly. He was surprised that Hetty hadn’t cornered him and asked a question like this a lot sooner.

“Don’t they say wolves mate for life?”

Hetty studied him for a long moment. “It is a long held belief they do, though some disagree.”

“Do you?”

Hetty’s lips twitched and Callen was sure she was trying not to smile. “My experience with wolves is quite limited. I am curious now as to why you brought that line into the conversation?”

Callen leaned forward in his chair, the crystal smooth glass slowly warming in his hand to match the feel of the drink inside him. “I think she was always going to be the one,” he told Hetty, “or at least the friendship I had with her as a child, even though I didn’t remember, was what I’ve been looking for but not able to find.”

“Do you mind me asking what it is about her that has you feeling this way?”

Callen smiled. “Have you ever met anyone who you could just be you; no secrets, no lies, no pretend? That you were just you with? Nothing else comes into play, just pure acceptance for who you are?”

Hetty took another sip and shook her head slowly. “I have never had that privilege.”

“One day I hope you do.”

Hetty’s head tilted as she continued to study him. “She is that to you?”

Callen nodded. “She has no ulterior motive, no agenda. She just wants me.” He still found that hard to believe but Sofia had her ways of convincing him, not just in the bedroom. “Even back when we were children, all she wanted was to be my friend.“

“You trust her?”

“Yes.” The one word was enough to have Hetty nod in satisfaction. The convincing tone, the lack of a pause or need to think. His answer was instant and honest.

Callen watched Hetty watch her whiskey swirl in her cup; almost like she didn’t want to look him in the eye with her next question.

“I thought perhaps,” Hetty voice was unusually tentative, “when you were considering the rather big step of proposing that you might have wanted an ear to discuss it.”

Callen understood.  In most of the big moments in his life she had been one of his most frequent confidants. “If I’d had any doubts or concerns,” he assured her, “I would’ve come to you but I didn’t.”

“No concerns about keeping her safe?”

Keeping her safe. Yes, he always had concerns about that but he also knew now, thanks to Sofia’s determination not to let him out of her life, that sometimes you simply had to grab life with both hands and deal with complications as they came, not try and avoid things. Though that didn’t stop him putting plans in place, with the help of the person right in front of him, to do what he could to take care of that complication.

“I know you will help me do everything in your power to ensure that she is,” Callen said. “And if something happens, then you’ll do everything to help me get her back.” He desperately hoped that was never the case. Sofia had already been through enough in her lifetime. “You already are,” he added.

Hetty inclined her head a touch in agreement. “And will continue to do so.”

“I didn’t have to think Hetty,” Callen told her. “Having her in my life is simple, easy. Loving her right. Proposing. That was simply the next step.”

“You haven’t felt like the temptation with anyone before to take that next step?”

Callen shook his head. “No. Only ever with her.” He took another small sip of the whiskey and reached for a cracker and piece of cheese Hetty had on the table. “When Michelle died,” Callen continued, “what Sam is going through, I…. Yes it prompted things. I’ll be honest, it was like I felt the more ways I had her as mine, the safer I could make her life. I saw how Sam was with going after Michelle and then Khalid. He didn’t stop. It didn’t matter what he had to do he did it.” With no concern for his own safety, or rules, which had concerned Callen, though he understood Sam’s actions a lot more with Sofia in his life than he would’ve only a few months earlier.

“As did you,” Hetty added.

Callen nodded his agreement. “I was right by Sam’s side and I would do it again in a heartbeat, no second thoughts or regrets.  It made me think though that if my enemies were watching, searching for a vulnerability, and they saw what we did for Michelle perhaps if I made sure they knew that Sofia was as important to me as Michelle is to Sam; that she is someone I won’t stop for anything to get back, and that coming for her would guarantee I came for them and they won’t like the results, it might help.” His muscles tensed at the thought. He took a slow breath and released it along with the tension. She was safe. He had delivered her himself to Marco and would pick her up later when she was done. Marco had a contact number for him and Sofia knew from experience what to do to get away if something happened.

“You think marrying her will make her safer?”

Callen smiled.”Marrying her will make her mine.”

There was twinkle in Hetty’s eye. “She already is. I admire your courage in accepting someone into your life so completely.”

“Why did you never marry Hetty?”

“Too many secrets I’m afraid. I never found someone I wanted to be me with. Someone I could trust with it all. There were opportunities to marry of course but it never felt right.”

The twinkle left and a look in her eyes suggested loss of a personal nature not just possibility.

“There was someone though wasn’t there?” Callen watched Hetty’s response carefully. “Someone you thought could be?”

Hetty took a breath and Callen watched her shoulders drop a little.

“Yes,” Hetty admitted. “But it wasn’t meant to be.”

“Why not?” Callen knew he was pushing.

“He was married.”

“The job or a woman?”

“A woman.” Hetty voice grew a touch softer. “There was a connection, perhaps similar to what you feel for Sofia. Unfortunately the opportunity to grow was not meant to be due to circumstances.”

“You worked with him.”

“You are persistent.”

Callen leaned forward again and caught Hetty’s gaze with his. “Hetty, we’ve had secrets between us that have caused problems. I know that we’ll never not have secrets but I’d like to try and find ways that we can be ourselves together more.”

Hetty took a moment before she nodded and continued. “We were on assignment. It lasted only a few days before he was killed. I felt it more than when some of my colleagues I had known for years died. And I had no right to mourn.”

“Of course you did.”

“Mourn a colleague yes, but not a future.”

Callen watched as Hetty took the final sip of her whiskey. She’d been as honest as she could with him, he could sense that.

“You know she accepted me from that first day,” Callen told Hetty. “She trusted me with her secrets. She told me what she could do, let me see the real her even knowing how many of the other children turned from her because of it.”

They’d been sitting on a rock, in the middle of the small stream not far from the camp, their feet dangling in the cool running water. It had only been a few days since they’d met. The memory had showed him a touch of fear and nervousness in Sofia’s eyes when she’d glanced away. She’d stared at the water for a few minutes before she had been brave enough to whisper her secret to him. When she had finally looked up at him he had seen the resignation and expectation in her eyes that he’d leave. He’d proven her wrong.

“Sometimes,” Callen continued, “you have to take a step and be brave to open up a whole new world.” Just like Sofia had that day on the rock. She’d been brave and he’d accepted her for what she was and that had been the start of something strong enough to defy time, distance and the Comescu’s.

“I think,” there was a slight hint of regret in Hetty’s tone as she spoke, “that I am too old to take that step. In this line of work I am already living on borrowed time.”

Callen hated the thought of Hetty being gone. There was something about her that made you feel she’d always been there. The reality was she was right. Not only was she old, not that he would admit that to her face, she had enemies and even though they were just as old as she, they were a different breed than today’s enemies and he worried that they wouldn’t see one coming in time.

“It doesn’t have to be with someone you don’t know,” Callen said, “Just someone you already know you can trust.”

Hetty’s lips twitched and the twinkle returned to her eyes just a touch. “I will keep that in mind.” Callen knew that she knew he was referring to their relationship and hoped, even being on borrowed time, that she might yet take that step with him.

* * *

 

“Sofia doesn’t have a ring yet,” Hetty dropped suddenly into the conversation as they were eating a simple meal of steak and vegetables. She had taken care of the vegetables that she refused to allow him to ignore, reminding Callen of days when he was much younger, while he had grilled the steaks that Hetty had already had marinating in her fridge.

“She doesn’t want an engagement ring.”

The proposal hadn’t been planned, it had simply happened. They’d taken a walk on the beach early the next morning after that horrendous day that had seen them lose Michelle.  They’d been standing there looking over the water as the sun rose and he’d just known, his trust in his instincts with her so strong he’d simply asked the question and she’d said yes. There hadn’t been a flashy dinner or prepared words to convince her, no down on one knee. Just the quiet empty beach at sunrise and five simple words. I love you. Marry me? Words direct from his heart to hers. When he’d wanted to take her shopping for a ring she’d refused.  Her mother had only ever worn a wedding ring; the one they’d found when they’d visited Romania. That’s all she wanted.

“Wedding rings are a different matter entirely,” Hetty reminded him.

“She’s happy with that though we haven’t gone shopping yet.”

Hetty nudged a small box across the table to him.

Callen picked it up, the velvet soft against his fingers. “What’s this?”

“Something I would like you to have.”

Callen flicked open the box with his thumb to find a large old cluster diamond ring - at least he assumed it was diamonds given who was giving it to him - sparkling up at him from the bed of black velvet.

“Hetty?”

“It was my grandmother’s ring, then my mother’s then mine.”

Callen closed the box and pushed it back across the table to her. “I can’t take this.”

Hetty pushed it back and ignored his refusal. “Now,” she continued, “I know that this style would not suit Sofia however, given what you have just told me perhaps you could have it remade into a simple wedding band with the diamonds set into it.”

Callen pushed it back. “Hetty.”

Hetty’s hand reached out across the table and caught his over the box. “Please hear me out,” she asked.

Callen nodded and when she pushed his hand and the box that was under it back across to his side of the table he let it stay there.

“You, as you are aware, are the closest I have to a son. I have no one to give this to when I die. It will just get lost and sold among the many other possessions I have collected over the years. This is one of the few possessions that I hold dear, that means something to me on a very personal level, and I would like you to have it. What you do with it is up to you.”

Callen was going to protest again but he could see a hint of vulnerability in her eyes, something rare in Hetty. Perhaps she was being brave after all and after that thought crossed his mind he had no choice. After all she’d taken a leap and he didn’t want to risk her not taking another one toward him.

“Thank you Hetty.” He shifted the box further onto his side of the table and settled it next to his phone. “We’ll make sure that you are involved in what we do with it.”

“No.” Hetty smiled. “Surprise me when it is done. Nice surprises are something rare in our lives. I think I will enjoy knowing one such as that is in my future.”

* * *

 

“Have you two decided when to get married?” Hetty asked as they were eating dessert. When she’d pulled out cherry pie and ice cream Callen had been suspicious that she had somehow known he was coming over tonight.

“Sooner rather than later but nothing set yet.”

“Would you like to have the wedding here?”

The spoon stopped halfway to his mouth at her offer and Callen slowly lowered it to his bowl before replying.

“Here? Hetty, this is your sanctuary.” Her home and the place for years only a select few had known about. She had never even had the team over here for dinner. She’d used one of her other properties for those nights.

“And yours,” Hetty replied. “At least it was for a while though I believe you have a new one now.” Callen knew she wasn’t talking about the house, either before or now. She had been his sanctuary at one point in his life and now Sofia was. “And,” she continued, “it’s not like the two of you are going to have a grand wedding with hundreds of guests …. Are you?”

“No.” That much they knew.  Sofia didn’t have anyone outside of Marcus and his wife that she wanted to be there. She’d decided to leave her previous life completely behind. Hetty had taken care of records to keep anyone from looking for Felicity and Eric had pulled a few intricate moves with her money to keep the trail hidden as he shifted it to her new life. This would allow Sofia the freedom to start fresh. “But you do realise Arkady will be on the list right?” Callen had been able to take some time with Hetty tonight to fill her in on some of the revelations about his past that Sofia had helped him learn, including Arkady’s part in his safe arrival in the US.

“I wouldn’t expect otherwise. Take the offer to Sofia and see,” Hetty instructed. “You’ll be safe here and perhaps it will give you a better chance to enjoy the day without looking over your shoulders. Security is strong and we can make it even tighter.”

* * *

 

It was over coffee that the final bombshell question of the night was dropped by Hetty.

“After the wedding, will we be hearing little footsteps?”

He’d been lucky that he had already swallowed. The line of questioning, the food and the openness of the conversation between the two of them tonight now had Callen wondering if Hetty knew something he didn’t know. It almost felt like she was trying to make up for lost time or that time was running out. Rather than dwell on that depressing thought Callen answered the question.

“No. No children.”

Hetty lifted an eyebrow. “A shame. I believe you would make a good father.”

“With not much to show me how?” He’d always doubted his potential as a father and hadn’t really thought too much about the possibilities of becoming one. To be a father meant settling down and settling down wasn’t seriously in his future until recently.

“A good father comes from the heart. You would protect any child, do protect anyone who you care about, with everything you have. Plus Sam would no doubt have plenty of advice to help you out with.”

“I’m sure he would but I’m sorry to say Hetty it’s not on the cards. There were complications with Gregory. Sofia can’t have anymore.” She’d been open with him, like always, when things had shifted to more. He’d been surprised that he’d felt a wave of disappointment come over him but it had shifted quickly. She’d offered to step away to give him the chance to find someone who could give him that. He’d seen it in her eyes that it was a genuine offer, though he also saw the pain just the thought caused her. He’d made it very clear that he wasn’t giving her up. Children were optional. She was not.

“Oh. I am sorry to hear that.”

Callen heard the sincerity in Hetty’s voice. “She came to terms with it a long time ago.” Gregory’s death had solidified that for her. She had never wanted to feel that kind of pain again.

“There are other options,” Hetty added.

“Which we may discuss at a later time, or not. We are happy to have each other back. This relationship is something neither of thought we would have and we’re going to enjoy it.” Callen felt his own lips twitch with a smile that he held back briefly. “You know Hetty if it does happen in any way, your grandmother status is secure. There’s no one else I’d rather have.”

“I wasn’t hinting.”

He let the smile free. “You never hint.You’re not subtle.” Even when she sounded it, the look in her eyes always told them that she wasn’t hinting, she was instructing.

His coffee finished Callen set the cup down carefully on the coffee table. “Why me Hetty?” Callen asked. “Why did you choose me for your raven and swan group?”

“I owed your mother.” The reply was quick - too quick and simply words Callen felt were rehearsed.

“No.” Callen shook his head and settled back on the couch. “I don’t believe you.” Hetty’s eyebrow raised at his remark.

“If that was the case,” Callen continued before she could protest, “you’d have found me a family to be a part of when I was still a child. What was behind the Ravens and the Swans … truly?” Even though she’d never said it, her explanation had given the impression it was for the good of the country, along with the children but he’d always suspected there was more to it but an opportune time had never surfaced until now to ask.

Hetty studied him and he kept his gaze locked on her eyes..

“Hetty, unless it’s state secrets, I’d really like to know.”

Hetty rose and started to pace in front of the fire. Callen waited patiently. Hetty rarely paced. Eventually she stopped and stared into the gently flickering flames.

“I was fourteen.” Hetty’s voice was so soft he had barely heard the words. Callen rose from the couch and moved to the other side of the fireplace, close enough that she wouldn’t have to raise her voice.

“My best friends parents died in a boating accident. She was bright, had so much potential. Doctor, lawyer, anything she wanted. The world was at her feet. But when they died there was no one. By fifteen she would spend every night on a different street corner in the equivalent of the red light district. Not for money but for food and a roof over her head for the night. She didn’t live to see her sixteenth birthday.”

Hetty turned to Callen. “The idea of the Ravens and the Swans appealed because it gave me a chance to save someone where I couldn’t save her.”

“You were just a child yourself, Hetty. What could you’ve done?”

“More.”

Callen stepped a little closer. “Hetty-”

She held up her hand to silence him. “I know what you are going to say,” Hetty told him, “but I am too old to have my mind changed. My ravens and swans are my personal redemption for what I could not do then. It just so happened that it also tied into helping some lonely children and my country as well. You wanted the truth, that is the truth that I have not told anyone before.” 

* * *

 

Callen turned on the steps and looked at Hetty.

“Thank Mr Callen. It’s been a pleasure.”

“It has. Next time won’t be so long away.”

“I sincerely hope not,” Hetty replied.  Callen turned to walk away but something in his gut started bothering him. There had been a tone in Hetty’s words that suggested she doubted there would be a next time. He turned back and studied her for a moment.

“You know Hetty, I’ll always come for you too. I won’t stop.”

Hetty smiled, but it was tinged with sadness. “I know,” she replied. “Even if it’s not the best idea I know you will.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set about 3 or 4 years down the track so we can see what has happened with their lives. Enjoy

* * *

Callen walked into their kitchen and stood close behind Sofia. He waited patiently and watched as she put the last touches of decorations on the birthday cake before he shifted his arms around her waist and looked over her shoulder.

“Looks good.”

“I hope she’ll like it.” Sofia leaned back against Callen and his arms tightened slightly.

“She’ll love it,” Callen told her. And Kamran would. She wasn’t the most girliest of girls but what Sofia had managed to create fitted. Deep purples, greens and blues with hints of silver sparkles. A perfect cake for the sixteen year old who would be arriving soon to celebrate.

Callen turned Sofia around in his arms. “You know she loves you. And that you have made this for her will make it even more special.”

Sofia lifted her arms around his neck but kept her sticky fingers off him. “I just want it to be perfect for her. It’s a big birthday.”

“It will be.” Callen lowered his head and brushed a gentle kiss across her lips. He shifted one of his hands from her waist and touched her left arm gently, the feel of the bandage under her long sleeve a physical reminder of recent events. “You feeling okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Callen raised an eyebrow and Sofia smiled indulgently at him with a small shake of her head.

“Grisha, it’s healing up nicely. Doctor said so himself yesterday.”

“It still hurts you.” Callen pushed back at the rage that he struggled with even now from her being hurt.

“Just a little if I bump it or grab something heavy, which.” Sofia attempted a stern look which had the unexpected effect of cooling his anger and making him smile. “You don’t let me do.”

“As long as I’m around I don’t. Doesn’t stop you if I’m not.” To be honest she was a much better patient than he’d ever be but there were still moments when she forgot she was supposed to be careful.

“Grisha, it’s over.” Sofia kissed his cheek, her voice was soft and reassuring. “I’m safe. You know that right?”

Callen’s hand tightened at her waist and pulled her just that little bit firmer against him. “Every time I see it, feel it, I remember what he almost did to you.” He couldn’t wait for the bandage to be gone. According to the doctor there shouldn’t be too much of a scar. There’d be some rehab for a while to help the muscle regain strength but she should have a complete recovery.

“Instead of that,” Sofia said, “remember that you did what you promised. You came for me.”

Callen rested his forehead against hers. “You got hurt.”

“Just a little. And he’s gone now - for good.”

Yes, Janvier was gone. He’d made a mistake in coming for Sofia and paid the price, like Khalid with Sam. Kensi had taken the shot just before Callen and Sam had breached the apartment Janvier had been holding Sofia in. There had never been a time that Callen had appreciated, very personally, Kensi’s abilities with a sniper rifle more than he had at that moment. When the gunshot had been heard from inside, Callen and Sam had moved instantly. Kensi had fired just after that. By the time Callen had made it to the room Sofia was in, Janvier was lying on the floor, a bullet in his head. There was absolutely no doubt this time that he was dead.

“Grisha?”

Sofia’s soft question brought Callen back to the present; not the room that he’d found her in, tied to a chair, arm bleeding and a bruise already forming on the side of her head. And those had been the ones he could see; there’d been more. His girl had certainly put up a fight not to be taken.

“I know,” he said. “I’m glad Kensi took the shot.”

“So am I. Very glad that _you_ didn’t have to. He wanted that, wanted you to live with the knowledge you had killed him and always wonder if it had been for the right reason.”

Callen tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and ran his finger gently over where the bruise had been, his eyes followed the trail. It had taken a couple of weeks for it to completely disappear.

“He had you. He hurt you and I have no doubt he would’ve done more.  It would’ve been the right reason and I’d have had no doubts about my choice.” The fact that somehow, yet again, Janvier had managed to get out of a high security prison was still being investigated.

Sofia shifted and kissed him softly. “Thank you.”

“For?” Callen brushed one of his own against her lips, not as soft and with a little more heat. He tasted the sweetness of frosting combined with her.

“Coming for me.”

Callen lifted his head and looked into her eyes. “Always will,” he promised. There was a slight shine and sadness to Sofia’s eyes and Callen very much wanted to get rid of it. He reached behind her and dipped his finger in the leftover frosting.

“Grisha?”

Callen’s lips twitched and he held back smile at the suspicious tone in her voice. She knew him well.

“No,” Sofia told him firmly when his frosting covered finger came between them. But she couldn’t do anything about it since he already her trapped against the bench, a slight shift of his body when he’d reached for the frosting all that had been needed. He had already wrapped his other arm around her locking her good arm to her side. Callen drew a purple line from below her ear, down the side of her neck to just above the vee of her shirt. He felt the kick of her pulse when he passed over that point.

“Yes,” he whispered in her ear before he went to work cleaning up his ‘mess’.

“Grisha.” Sofia’s voice lacked any firmness this time when she said his name.

Callen continued lower than the trail had been; his fingers had already been working on the buttons - and leaving a hint of purple in their wake. She’d have to find another shirt later.

“We don’t have time,” Sofia said. It was a token protest. The desire and need in her voice clear. Even after all this time it didn’t take much for the heat between them to flare.

“They won’t be here for another fifteen minutes.” Callen had time, maybe not as much as he would like but he knew her well. He started to walk backwards, pulling her with him out of the kitchen to the hallway that led to the stairs. His lips trailed back to hers and his fingers found the button on her skirt. It slipped to the ground easily when he lifted her off her feet into his arms.

“Fifteen?” Sofia whispered.

“Fifteen,” Callen repeated. His foot was on the first step.

“Why are we going upstairs?”

Callen halted at her words and Sofia’s lips left a heated trail on his neck that distracted him momentarily.

“Bedroom?” Callen wasn’t quite sure why it came out as a question. He had a plan, knew where he was heading with this ... hadn’t he?

“Remember there are benefits to being on our own.”

Sofia’s teeth nipped at his ear. That was enough to get his mind to follow the dots and find himself thinking what she was. Callen stepped back from the stairs, let her legs slip carefully from his arms and pushed her back against the wall in one smooth motion. Hip to hip and mouth to mouth followed as Sofia tugged Callen’s head to hers and caught his mouth in a heated, frosting flavoured kiss. He briefly wondered just how much frosting was left and if there was time to slip back to the kitchen to get it but Sofia tugged his shirt over his head and thoughts of putting any distance between their bodies was gone. He had her shirt off her shoulders and down her arms mere moments later, though he was careful even in the heat of passion of her arm. The sound of a car door closing filtered through their minds followed by two distinct voices they knew well. Both went still.

“They’re early,” Callen murmured against her ear.

Sofia dropped her head back against the wall, her eyes closed. “You get the door.” Her whisper held more than a hint of disappointment.

“Me?” Callen wasn’t entirely sure he was in a position to open the door to anyone right now.

Sofia opened her eyes and Callen reluctantly stepped away from her, hoping that the distance would cool things easier before he decided to forget that they were supposed to be celebrating with Kamran.

“Yeah you,” Sofia confirmed. “I need to get changed and clean up.”

“Thought I did a pretty good job of that.”

Sofia smiled, a wicked one that did nothing to help Callen cool down. “Not thoroughly enough.”

Callen took another step away from her. “You’ve got plenty left right?”

“Just enough for later.” The heated and wicked gleam was still in her eyes.

Callen picked up his shirt off the floor just as the doorbell rang. “You better hurry.”

Sofia slipped back to the kitchen and when she came back she had her skirt in her hands. He tugged her back for a quick hard kiss before she took her shirt that he had retrieved for her from the floor and headed upstairs.

Callen washed his hands, and the small amount of frosting from his hair, in the downstairs bathroom before he headed to open the front door.

He smiled at Kamran and Aiden. “Happy birthday Kam.”

Kamran stepped into his arms. “Thanks Uncle Callen.”  He hugged her close for a moment and kissed her on the side of her head.

There was a hint of mischief in Aiden’s tone when he asked, “What took you so long?”

Callen said the first thing that came to his still slightly passion hazed mind. “Had to hide a present from a curious birthday girl.” Just because the present wasn’t for Kamran didn’t need to be said.

Aiden and Kamran walked with him to the lounge room.

“Is Aunt Fi here?” Kamran asked.

“I’m here.” Sofia walked through the doorway and smiled. Callen noticed she looked entirely presentable and wondered just how she did it - and how soon he could rectify that. He gave himself a mental shake and focused back on the present.

“Happy birthday Kam.” Sofia slipped her arms around Kamran when she stood up from the couch to hug Sofia.

“So presents?” Aiden asked.

“Anyone would think it was your birthday.” Callen handed Kamran one of the ones off the table in front of them.

“Thought you hid them?” Aiden remarked.

Kamran nudged Aiden and shushed him, which made Callen wonder if his sweet little Kamran had some idea of what had just been happening. He hoped she didn’t. And that if she did she wouldn’t bring that up in conversation with Sam. To Sam, Kamran was still his baby girl in so many ways.

After a few ‘useful’ presents it was time for the one Callen and Sofia had taken some extra time to find.

Kamran looked at them curiously with the small box still in her hand before she lifted the lid.

A small gasp slipped from her lips and she lifted the necklace out of the box. “It’s beautiful.”

A crystal dragon lay in Kamran’s hand on a slim but sturdy silver chain. Callen knew that when the light hit it just right there would be rainbows.  

“To remind you that it takes more than a kiss to win a girl’s heart,” Sofia explained, “and to look for someone who’ll fight your dragons for you.”

Kamran looked up from the pendant to Sofia. “Like Uncle Callen did for you?”

Sofia glanced at Callen and smiled. “Like he’s still doing.”

“Even if I can fight them myself?” Kamran asked, with a touch of her father’s cheek in her tone..

Callen grinned. His Kam was most definitely capable of taking care of herself. Sam had made sure of that before he’d allowed her to go off to Keating even though Aiden was there to look out for her. “Nothing wrong with him fighting them for you,” Callen told her, “just as there’s nothing wrong with fighting them together, or even you his.”

Kamran moved next to Callen.  She held out the necklace to him, a silent request for help.

“Perfect,” Sofia whispered when Kamran turned around and showed them. Kamran gave them both a hug and settled back next to Aiden, eyeing of the rest of the presents.

“This one’s next,” Callen handed Kamran another small box. “It’s technically from your dad but he said I could give it to you now. I did help though.”

Kamran lifted the lid and Callen knew the moment she realised exactly what was in the box.

“Dad brought me a car?”

“You’ll have to pass your test first.” Callen told her.

“And,” Aiden said, “then there will be Dad’s test after that.”

“Where is it?” There was such a sparkle of excitement in Kamran’s eyes and Callen couldn’t help the grin that came to his face. There was so much more to this present than she knew.

“Outside.”

Kamran frowned. “I didn’t see it when we arrived.”

“Have my ways.”

Kamran rose eagerly. “Can I..”

“Go.” Callen nodded but stayed seated. Aiden went to move too but Callen shook his head. A slightly confused Aiden sat back down.  When Kamran disappeared around the corner Callen quietly counted to himself. “5, 4, 3 -

“Daddy!” Kamran’s excited scream came before he finished and Callen watched Aiden fly out of his seat to go and join them. Callen and Sofia rose slowly and followed, giving the family a little more time for their reunion in private.  They stood just outside the front door where they could see Sam, Kamran and Aiden as they checked over the car but stayed far enough away to give them some family time. Kamran stayed close to Sam who kept pulling her in for frequent hugs. They hadn’t been sure Sam would be back in time for the birthday but Hetty had pulled a few strings and so the back up birthday celebrations didn’t need to be used. They’d go back inside, finish the rest of the presents and have cake but then Sam would take Kamran and Aiden on a “goodbye to childhood” weekend trip to Disneyland. Sam had asked if Callen and Sofia wanted to come too but Callen had declined, leaving this as a special moment between Sam and his kids.

Sofia leaned back into him, her head settled on his shoulder and sighed softly. Callen looked at her and saw what he always did when she was watching Kamran and Aiden.  A longing, a sadness yet mixed with happiness too.

Callen tightened his arms around her. “You’d tell me if you regretted not having kids right?” he asked in a low voice.

Sofia turned her head slightly and looked him in the eyes. “No regrets. Why do you think that?”

“You look sad sometimes when you’re watching them.” He couldn’t see any regrets, but he could see that.

Sofia frowned. “I hope they don’t see it.”

“I doubt it but I know you well.” His lips brushed against her temple.

“No regrets, just sad Gregory never made it to this age. We made our choice for a good reason.” Sofia lifted her head and turned around so she was facing him, his arms still around her. “Do you regret it?”

“No, but sometimes things change. People change.”

Sam, Kamran and Aiden were headed toward them now and Callen let the conversation drop. There were still presents and cake to be had. There would be plenty of time later to continue..

* * *

 

As predicted Kamran loved the cake. Sofia carefully packed up most of the remaining for Sam to take with them

“Thanks G,” Sam said as they walked the family out. “She’s had a great time.”

Sam kissed Sofia on the cheek. “Cake was perfect.”

Sofia smiled. Kamran squeezed both of them tight though Callen did notice that she was wary of Sofia’s arm and he regretted that Kamran knew about it.  He hoped it didn’t cause her any problems or remind her of Michelle. Callen wondered if perhaps he should check in with Sam about that after their trip, make sure Kamran was doing okay. They watched them drive away, Kamran in her car with Sam beside her and Aiden in his own before he walked back into the house with his arm around Sofia’s shoulders. When the door closed Sofia turned quickly and had him back against the wall.

“Now, where were we?” There was a sparkle and heat in her eyes that Callen would be glad to take advantage of but first things first. He flipped their situation easily and had her arms pinned, very gently, against the wall.

“Not so fast,” Callen said. “Earlier we were talking.”

Sofia stilled, a look of worry coming swiftly to her face that made Callen regret briefly his choice to talk first and play later.

“You regret us not having children?” Sofia asked him.

“No,” Callen assured her. “You were right, the choice was made for good reason.”

They’d made their choice not only because Sofia couldn’t have anymore after the complications with Gregory’s birth but also because the two of them had lived childhoods of either running or not having parents. Their life together had a risk that any children could be left in that same circumstance so they’d decided not to go there; to simply devote themselves to being a great uncle and aunt and hand back the kids at the end of the day, leaving them free to just be a couple - with the particular benefits of the freedom of the house.

“But I see it in your eyes Fi,” Callen said quietly. “Every time we’re with Kam, Aiden, even with Jake.”

“See what?”

“A mother’s love desperate to break free. You try and hide it.” Sofia remained silent but he saw it there in her eyes, just as he’d said. “It’s not enough for you, a weekend here and there with Kam.”

“I’m not trying to be her mother Grisha. I would never try and take Michelle’s place.”

“I know,” Callen brushed a kiss over her lips to reassure her. “And so do they. But you have so much to give and no one to give it to.”

“You’re enough.”

“I’m not the one you can give that to.”

Callen let Sofia’s arms go and took her hand, led her to the couch and pulled her onto his lap, always careful of her arm.

“Things have changed,” Callen said. “Maybe it’s time to revisit our options.”

His fingers found hers and touched the ring she wore on her left hand. A combination of the diamonds from Hetty’s ring and the gold from her mother’s. Callen rubbed his thumb over it and smiled at the thought of the day long ago at Hetty’s house when he’d put it on her finger and she’d put his on his own. That day when she became his, for better or worse. When she’d promised to love him forever, and he her, in front of those who meant the most to them. Callen wore his ring on his right hand instead of the left which meant he could wear it more frequently. When he went undercover Hetty had a different one for him to slip over it to cover the indent. His ring was plain gold too, though buried within that simple band was two of the smaller diamonds from Hetty’s ring, to create a connection between the two rings.

“What are you saying Grisha?”

He looked into her eyes. “You need more than me.”

“No I don’t. Just need you.” She brushed her lips over his.

“Things are different. Janvier’s gone. I’m not in the field as much.” Hetty wasn’t quite ready for retirement but had decided to step back a little after the issues in Vietnam. While she was still technically Operations Manager, Callen had taken over the part of her role that involved the everyday dealings with the teams operating out of the LA office.  Sam had stepped up to Team Leader and a couple of other field agents had been recruited to the team to work with Deeks, Kensi and Sam. Sometimes his skills or a past identity, or a particularly difficult assignment required him to work missions so he wasn’t completely out of the field, but enough that he could relax a little more and enjoy a touch safer life with Sofia.

“Why do I have a feeling you already have something in particular in mind?” Sofia asked him.

Callen pulled her closer.  “Because you know me. Hetty has someone she wants us to consider taking in.”

“For a little bit?”

“Longer.”

“Fostering?”

“Adopting.”

“But…”

“Hear me out?” Callen wasn’t sure how she would take what he was about to say and was glad that he had her in his arms for it. He’d found he was very good at reading her body’s responses to things when the physical connection was there. While she didn’t hide things from him, it gave him more feedback and allowed him to help her through those times that were more difficult for her with her gift. Especially when memories surfaced from her past, along with the emotions and feelings attached.

Sofia nodded and shifted so she could watch his face. His hand still held hers and the thumb still subconsciously stroked her ring.

“She’s almost fifteen. She needs a home. She’s been in foster care since she was eight. Fifteen homes and the last one the worst.”

“What happened?”

“Foster father is in jail for statutory rape of a minor, multiple counts. He’s not getting out anytime soon.”

Sofia whimpered in his arms and he felt the shiver that ran slightly through her body. “Her?”

“Yeah.”

“How did it happen? Why didn’t -” Callen put a finger on Sofia’s lips to stop her. There were tears in her eyes.

“She’s pregnant. Not to him but that’s why he got away with it for so long. She’s wants to keep the baby. She was scared.  She believed him when he told her that they’d take it away from her when it was born and that he could make sure that didn’t happen if she’d just...”

Callen stopped as a more violent shudder went through her and she whispered, “Stop, please.”

He reached up and brushed the tears from her cheeks. “Fi, she’s needs someone to take care of her. Hetty can only keep her so long. She’s too old to be able to keep her permanently.”

Sofia’s head slipped to his shoulder and he felt the wetness of the tears that were still falling seep through his shirt.

“What happens if he gets out? Can we keep her safe?”

“Not likely he’ll get out but if anyone can we can. It won’t just be you and me remember.”

Sofia lifted her head. “Not likely?”

“He’s done too much. Hetty will no doubt work her magic and make sure he … doesn’t see the outside walls again. She’s hinted as much.” Not that Hetty would outright say it but Callen had no doubt that Hetty would ensure the girl was never bothered again.

Sofia’s eyes went wide. “He’ll …”

“Probably.” He knew what she was thinking.

Sofia closed her eyes.

“Fi,” Callen kept his voice gentle. “You have so much to give and she needs someone like you. If she goes back into foster care there may be a difficulty finding her a place that will accept her and the baby.” Sofia opened her eyes and Callen saw the fear in them. He frowned. “What are you frightened of?”

“She’d need to know about me. What teenager is going to want to live with someone who could possibly see the truth of what they’ve been up to and know if they were lying?”

Callen slipped his hand behind her neck and rubbed gently. “Perhaps one who wanted to be believed and wasn’t. She tried to tell people about what he was doing.They seemed to assume because of her age, that she was pregnant, no father around and bouncing from home to home that she was trouble.”

Sofia remained quiet. Callen could see her thinking, could still see a touch of fear in her eyes.

“Maybe we can give her what we didn’t have,” Callen continued. “A chance to be free and safe, hope. She’s just a kid. She wants to keep the baby. She loved it’s father and is scared.”

“You don’t play fair,” Sofia whispered, tears affecting her voice.

Callen lifted her chin and brought her gaze to his. “I play to win.”

“What are you trying to win?”

“You."

“You have me.”

“For you then,” Callen told her. “She needs someone and you do too.”

“You’re enough.”

“But there’s so much you have to give that isn’t for me.”

“I don't regret our choices.”

“Neither do I. But life changes. People change. Before you, this kind of relationship never worked for me.”

Sofia smiled. “Perhaps you just hadn’t found the right one.”

Callen grinned. “True.” He waited and sure enough he saw when it registered that she’d just given the answer as to why this girl might be who they’d been waiting for.

“She needs someone,” Callen continued. “I know you’re scared. I know that even if we’d could’ve had a child of our own, you probably wouldn’t have chosen to.”

“Losing Gregory hurt.”

“I know.”

“Even though I survived I don’t know if I could go through that again.”

Callen knew that it wasn’t just Sofia being scared of what the girl might think of her gifts but of how attached she might get to the girl and baby. And that was exactly why he knew she was what this girl would need. Someone who would truly love her, even if she wasn’t her own.

“Whatever happens, we’ll be going through it together,” Callen assured her. “You won’t be alone.”

Because even though Jonathon had been there when Gregory died, Callen knew Sofia had never really let him be someone she could completely depend on. Lies and secrets have a way of keeping you back from someone. Thankfully that wasn’t the case now.

“Life would change if we had someone here with us,” Sofia said.

“Changes aren’t necessarily a bad thing.”

“We wouldn’t be quite so free to do whatever we wanted.”

Callen grinned when Sofia ran her hands to the bottom of his shirt. His fingers slowly slipped the buttons of hers undone in response.

“So we might have to get a little creative.” Callen saw the heat flare a little more in her eyes and the fear diminish. “Or make the most of Hetty’s babysitting offer.”

Her shirt slipped off her shoulders to the floor and she dropped his on top of it. Her eyes locked with his and he still saw some doubt, but a lot hope there too.

“I know you Sofia Elena-Maria Callen. You want this.” Sofia raised her eyebrows and he saw a sparkle of amusement in her eyes at his choice of words. Callen shook his head just a little “You know what I meant. I can see it in your eyes and I’m sure you can feel it in your heart. You were born to love as mother does.”

“Now you’re just playing dirty.”

“Not yet.” Callen winked before he shifted her off his lap and stood up. He held out his hand and  helped her up off the couch. His hands slipped to the back of Sofia’s skirt and the button and zip was taken care of very quickly. “Soon,” he said. “There is still that frosting in the kitchen.” The flirting left his tone even as the heat in the rest of his body rose when she undid his belt, button and zip just as easily as he had hers. “I see it in you with Kam and Aiden. Even with Jake but it’s not enough with them.”

“She needs us?”

Callen held back the smile at the small amount of acceptance he heard in her question. “She needs someone. No reason it can’t be us.”

“How soon before we have to decide?”

“Hetty’s invited us for dinner tonight.”

“Tonight? That soon?” There was a flicker of panic in her eyes but with a distracting touch and some reassuring words Callen eased it away.

“To meet her. Hetty can swing her staying with her for just a little more time but then she’ll be back in the system.”

“What time?”

“Six.”

Sofia glanced at the clock on the wall. “I guess we’d better make the most of these next few hours.”

Callen stopped her hands at his waist. “As I said, it’ll just mean we need to get creative. But you’ll be free to love as you were meant to. And she’ll have hope of someone believing in her and being there for her.”

Sofia smiled and traced his jaw with a gentle finger. “And someone who will protect her with everything.”

Callen nodded and smiled. “Goes without saying.”

“Sounds perfect.”

Callen lifted her in his arms and walked to the kitchen. Sofia picked up the bowl and he headed to stairs.

“Grisha,” she whispered in his ear. “Still alone.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry, just realised I hadn't posted the final chapter - got sidetracked with Nanowrimo and writing. Anyway, the final chapter of this story. I hope you enjoy and would love to know what you thought.
> 
> Time to say goodbye to Callen, Sofia and...

* * *

Six weeks later.

 

Callen relaxed against the archway to Hetty’s living room, his attention on Sofia and Dana as they sat on the couch talking quietly.  With their heads close together, and not being able to see their faces, they’d pass as mother and daughter with their almost identical shade of dark blonde hair. But their facial features and eyes, Sofia’s pale green and Dana’s brown, told a different story. Dana was on the small side for her age. She really didn’t look almost fifteen; the top of her head barely came up to Callen’s shoulder. Now that Dana was more settled with them, and the tough protective attitude had gone, she seemed even younger.

Dana had been with them now for five weeks. 

The first week she had stayed with Hetty to give her a chance to get to know them while they decided where to go with this. They’d left the final choice in Dana’s hands, even though it didn’t seem like she had many options given the situation. In the end she’d chosen to come with them; even knowing what Sofia’s gifts could do and a tamed down version of Callen’s line of work. 

The soft laughter that drifted to him from them made Callen smile. 

The first two weeks Dana had been with them were hard. The initial flush of being safe and able to keep her baby had gone after a few days when fear and worry of it all going wrong again kicked in. Completely understandable given her history in the system, and how important stability was for her now. Boundaries were pushed, arguments were frequent and Sofia fought hard to help Dana understand that things were different now. Callen had kept his distance from the arguments though had backed up Sofia when needed. As much as he was going to be a part of Dana’s life, initially they felt it better that he stay back until Dana trusted him. Pushing a man’s authority on her with what she had just been through didn’t seem like it would be a good strategy. 

One afternoon toward the end of those two weeks Callen had come home early to an exceptionally quiet house. He’d found Sofia and Dana curled up on the bed in Dana’s room; the young girl’s head on Sofia’s lap. Dried tears stained Dana’s cheeks and her eyes were closed in sleep. Sofia, on the other hand, still had tears falling as she stroked Dana’s hair tenderly. Careful not to disturb Dana, Sofia had shifted her head off her lap onto a pillow and taken Callen to their own bedroom where she had curled up in his arms and let the rest of her tears fall. 

There had been a confrontation that day that had led to Dana pushing past Sofia and, for the first time, that physical contact had Sofia falling to her knees. Not because of Dana’s actions but because of Dana’s memories; just like Sofia had on the beach in Romania so long ago with his own. The sheer force of the multiple memories and the fear and pain that she had felt from them had left Sofia in tears on the floor and Dana scared.  In the end though, it had been a turning point for Sofia and Dana. From that moment things changed. After they’d talked and cried together, Dana had fallen asleep, exhaustion from the encounter taking its toll. Callen hadn’t asked Sofia to tell him what she had seen. He’d trusted her when she said that there was no doubt that Dana had told them the truth, even though they hadn’t doubted her before. 

“Looks like you have your own swan now,” Hetty’s quiet voice came from beside him.

Callen kept his eyes on Sofia and Dana. “Let’s make sure this one gets to make her own choices huh?” he said, just as quietly. “No leading her down the spy path.”

“She’s your swan Mr Callen. Where you guide her is up to you.”

Callen turned his head and looked at Hetty but kept Sofia and Dana in his peripheral vision. “There’s more to her isn’t there Hetty? Something you haven’t told us?”

“Nothing bad, just -.”

A gasp from their direction pulled Callen’s attention instantly from Hetty. He saw the look of surprise in Dana’s brown eyes, a rare colour combination with her blonde hair. She held Sofia’s hand on her rounded stomach. Dana looked at Callen with an excited smile. It was the first time he’d seen her look at him without a sign of wariness. 

Callen didn’t blame her. After everything Dana had been through Callen knew the road to her trusting him wouldn’t be easy and would, potentially, be long. He had some serious convincing to do that she was safe with him and he was okay with that. He was patient when things really mattered.

Callen smiled back and Dana beckoned him over. Curious, Callen moved to crouch in front of her. His eyes flicked to Sofia’s but there was nothing to worry about in them even if they were shining with unshed tears. He turned his focus back to Dana.

“Everything okay?” Callen was very conscious of the tone he used whenever he talked with Dana. The last thing he wanted was to scare her.

Dana nodded. “She kicked. Sofia felt it too.”

“Really?”

“Would you like to…” Dana trailed off.

Callen couldn’t tell if Dana regretted starting to say what she had or if she just wasn’t sure. He waited patiently as she took a slow breath in and out.

“Would you like to feel too?” Dana finally asked him.

Callen knew this was a huge step from Dana to trust him with such contact. She’d been hesitant of even being next to him for a good few weeks and tended to seem uncomfortable and ready to flee if she found herself in the same room as him alone. Physical contact between the two of them was almost non-existent.

Something was happening here and he didn’t want to shut Dana down if she was reaching out to him so Callen made sure his reply left it up to her. “If you’re okay with that.” 

Dana held out her hand, one that was a little shaky but she had a determined look on her face. Callen placed his in hers and shifted so she could move it where she wanted. Sure enough within a few moments there was definite movement against his hand.

“See, she’s strong,” Dana said excitedly.

“She is,” Callen agreed.  He glanced at Sofia. “She? Are we sure?”

“Just a mother’s instinct,” Sofia replied. Callen wasn’t sure which mother Sofia was referring to but it didn’t matter. He’d trust them.

Callen looked back to Dana. “I’m going to be well and truly outnumbered aren’t I?”

“You know you’ll love it,” Sofia said.

Callen glanced between them with a smile. “Of course,” he agreed. 

Dana’s lips twitched. “Maybe we should get a dog,” she said. “A cute little one.” 

Callen heard a smothered chuckle from behind him and knew Hetty was finding this amusing. So was he. Amusing and hopeful. Here was yet another sign that she was becoming more comfortable with him. This was the first time Dana had said anything remotely teasing to him

“How about a manly one?” Callen countered. “And definitely a boy.”

“One like Monty.” Dana had a cheeky twinkle in her eye to match her smile and Callen liked it. Such a different young girl to the one who had come home with them initially. 

Kensi and Deeks had brought Monty with them the couple of times they’d been over to get to know Dana. The team had already been introduced to Dana during the time she’d been with them. It was perhaps a touch sooner than would’ve happened under normal circumstances, however Nate had suggested that giving Dana some security in knowing that there were other adults, particularly female ones, around that she could trust might help. It was something she hadn’t had previously with the isolation of being shipped from home to home frequently and not being settled, not to mention those she had spoken to who hadn’t believed her. Deeks’ theory was that having Monty there might give Dana something other than another man around to focus on and make it easier for her to get to know him via Monty. Even though they obviously trusted the team, for now Sofia always made sure she was with Dana when the team was around. Sam had a similar idea and had brought Kamran with him in the hopes that her presence, and the evidence of trust between the two of them, might reassure Dana that Sam was someone she could trust. So far so good. Eric had had the least of an issue with Dana. Probably because he seemed that much closer in age and didn’t appear at all threatening.

“ _ Not _ like Monty,” Callen said firmly. “I’m sure we can find something suitable.” Callen glanced briefly down where Dana, surprisingly, still held his hand against her stomach and the slight activity that was continuing. “Not yet though. Let’s get you settled with this little one before we add anymore.”

Dana yawned and lifted her hand to cover her mouth, which left Callen’s hand on her stomach. He removed it quickly so she wouldn’t worry.

“I think perhaps it’s time to get someone home to bed,” Callen said to them both. He rose to his feet and held his hand out to Sofia, who happily put her hand in his and allowed him to pull her into his arms. “Us too,” he whispered just loud enough for her to hear before he caught her lips in a brief yet heated kiss. It had been a long and exhausting day and he was looking forward to finishing it off on a very good note with Sofia - in private.

Callen looked down at Dana and held out his other hand, hoping she’d take it. Dana stared at it for a moment before she tentatively put her hand in his and smiled.

“Yeah,” Dana said. “Let’s go home.”

And damn if that one little word didn’t do things to Callen’s heart that he hadn’t expected. Home. She’d said home for the first time that he could recall. She was obviously getting more comfortable with him. That all added up to mean she was feeling safer and that was a big, and very important, step.

Callen helped Dana up carefully before they headed toward the front door and gathered their things. After saying good night and thanking Hetty for dinner, Sofia and Dana headed to the car but Callen lingered.

“Hetty, I’m a big boy. I can handle it.” Hetty had hinted that it wasn’t bad so there was really no reason for her to keep whatever it was about Dana from them.

Hetty looked up at him. “I am sure you can however it’s complicated and may come as a bit of a shock.”

“Try me.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

“Very well.” Hetty nodded slightly. “You knew Dana’s grandfather.”

Callen frowned. “Who?”

“Ilie.”

 

* * *

Callen slid into the driver’s seat of the car and glanced back at Dana. She was strapped in safely, both hands rested protectively on her stomach. Her eyes were closed which gave him a chance to study her face to see if there was something of the man he’d known briefly a long time ago in it. But there wasn’t. Either she didn’t look like him or he couldn’t remember Ilie well enough. Callen turned to look at Sofia and saw the questioning expression on her face.

“ _Mai târziu_ ,” Callen said quietly. “ _Hai_ _acasă_.”

“Do you know you two do that pretty often.” Dana’s voice drifted quietly from the back seat.

“Do what?” Callen turned and looked at her. Her eyes were open now and he could see her brown eyes and one of his memories became clearer. She had the same eyes as Ilie; not the same shape, just colour.

“Speak another language.”

Sofia shifted in her seat to turn and look at Dana as well. “I’m sorry Dana. We don’t mean to.”

“It’s okay,” Dana said. “I don’t think you’re trying to keep things from me. I don’t think you even notice.”

“You know Sofia and I were born in Romania,” Callen said.

“Oh that’s right. So, what did you say?”

“I said  _ Later. Let’s go home _ .” Callen wondered if she’d heard Ilie speak it at all. “Would you like to learn it?”

“Me?”

Callen smiled. “Yes you. Then you’ll know what we’re saying if we forget.”

“You want me to know?” Dana asked. 

“We’re not trying to keep secrets from you,” Callen assured her. “It’s just something that happens. We both know it well, we’re used to speaking it with each other. Sometimes we slip into it without thinking.” There was something special about talking with Sofia in the language they had first become friends in, almost like it made their connection stronger and, having lived alone with each other for so long, they hadn’t really thought about how frequently they slipped into it.

Callen waited and watched as Dana looked thoughtful. Finally she smiled and said, “I’d like that.”

“Try this one then. _ Micutul meu,”  _ Sofia said softly _. _

_ “Micutul meu,”  _ Dana repeated tentatively. 

Sofia nodded. Callen saw Sofia blink rapidly and a shine in her eyes.

“What does it mean?” Dana asked.

Sofia smiled, a hint of sadness in it. “My little one,” she replied before she turned and settled back into her seat.

Callen heard Dana repeat it softly and out of the corner of his eye saw her gently rub her stomach as she did.

Callen reached out, took Sofia’s hand and brought it to his lips. She looked at him, the shine still there. “ _ Te iubesc _ ,” he said.

Sofia smiled and the sadness slipped from her eyes. “Love you too. Take us home.”

* * *

Callen watched from the doorway as Sofia helped settle Dana comfortably in her bed. Over the last few weeks Sofia and Dana had created a safe, comforting, quiet bedroom for Dana. A place of her own that would help calm and comfort her. The colours were gentle and the room uncluttered yet cozy. Currently it was softly lit by the flower night light on the bedside table that cast a warm yellow glow over the room. Dana’s fear of the dark was something they would deal with in time but for now, the light plus the string of fairy lights that they had put over her desk, ones that she could turn on with a remote control if she needed more through the night, was enough to help her cope at this point. There were more important things at the top of the list that needed to be dealt with first.

“Night Dana,” Callen said.

Dana looked at Sofia who nodded just a little which put Callen’s senses on alert. Something was up between them. Dana looked over to him.

“Callen,” Dana said, “Can I talk to you?”  Callen noted the hint of nervousness in her voice.

“I’ll wait outside,” Sofia said. Dana nodded. 

This was new. Dana voluntarily alone with him. 

Sofia rose from the bed and walked toward him, a reassuring look on her face. The back of her hand brushed his when she moved by him and out the door, which she left open.

“Please,” Dana said, “will you sit?” Callen moved slowly to sit at the end of her bed where Dana had pointed.

Instead of staying where she was laying down, Dana sat up. Her fingers in her lap fiddled with the covers as she watched them rather than look at him. Callen waited patiently.

“Thank you,” Dana said. 

Callen her head voice catch just a touch. “For?”

“Today. You …” Dana took a slow breath. “You … I mean no one has … I just …” Dana groaned, her frustration clear to Callen in the sound.

“Hey,” Callen said. “It’s okay. Take your time.”

Dana looked up at him finally and Callen saw tears in her eyes. “No one’s protected me before like you did today. Not that I can remember anyway.” Dana’s voice was barely above a whisper. “He was there and looking at me and I felt so scared and … and like I was the one who’d done something wrong.” The words were tumbling out now and Callen continued to be patient. “And then you were there, between us and he … He looked so scared and so small and pathetic. You didn’t even say anything and yet I felt … so much safer and not so scared.”

Today had been a hard day on them all. Dana had to go through what had happened to her with the judge and unexpectedly her former foster father, though Callen hated referring to him that way, with the help of a shady lawyer, had managed to find an obscure loophole that allowed him to be in the room too. Callen had been furious, Dana’s lawyer as well. The two of them had fought hard to get around it but hadn’t been successful. Even though the judge had been on their side, the law had been upheld. Hetty had now put out feelers to get the loophole changed though it wouldn’t help Dana, but hopefully it would save others going through the same thing. Sofia had spent some time calming Dana before they had come back in to talk to the judge. Callen had called Sam to get him to come and wait outside because Callen honestly hadn’t trusted himself not to do something he probably shouldn’t. 

He’d controlled himself, but only just. 

When Callen had seen the look in the man’s eye when he had stared at Dana - in a way that no man should look at a child - Callen had felt his blood boil. He’d shifted to put himself between the two of them as much as he could and then hadn’t let his eyes leave the pathetic excuse for a man until the whole thing was over, trusting that Sofia would be able to comfort Dana and help her get through the questions. The fact that Sofia had seen Dana’s memories was a blessing in that moment because it gave Dana someone to depend on who knew, without any doubt, what had happened to her. 

“I can be scary when I have to be,” Callen said gently.

“Why?” Dana asked him, the confusion clear on her face. “Why did you do that? You barely know me.”

Callen held himself still as the strong urge to move close and pull this child, and yes she was still a child even if she was soon to be a mother, into his arms flooded him.  The first answer that came to mind wasn’t one he felt was right for now - _ Your grandfather showed me long ago what was right.  _ The rest of his answers though were ones he could. 

“Many reasons,” Callen told her. “One, you’re ours now.” Hetty had fast tracked the adoption, how he didn’t know, and it was completed the previous week. She was officially theirs. “Protection is a given,” Callen continued, “to both of you. Get used to it. Two, you are just a child and deserve to have someone to protect you. And three,” Callen smiled, “It’s what I do and I’m pretty good at what I do.”

A tear slipped down Dana’s cheek.

“Dana, you’re not alone anymore. We’ll always protect you.”

“What if something happens to you too?” Dana whispered. “Like my parents? What if I’m...” More tears fell.

This time Callen did shift. He didn’t pull her into his arms but moved close enough to hold out his hand to her. Dana put hers into his with less hesitation than earlier this evening. His fingers closed around her much smaller ones. “If that happens,” Callen said, “and I promise we’ll do everything we can to make sure it doesn’t, it’s not just Sofia and I who are looking out for you. You’ll be taken care of, both of you.”

Dana swiped away the tears from her cheeks with her free hand and nodded. Sensing she was done Callen squeezed her hand gently, let it go and stood up. 

“Get some sleep. It’s been a big day.” Callen turned and walked to the door but before he had taken more than four steps, there was movement behind him. He turned to find Dana almost crash into him and wrap her small arms around him. It was the first time she’d hugged him.

“Night,” Dana whispered before she let go and hurried back to bed. It had been so quick Callen hadn’t even had a chance to put his arms around her. Another big step forward.

“Night.” Callen closed the door carefully and took a breath. Sofia was standing there across from Dana’s door waiting for him with tears in her eyes. She reached out, took his hand and led him to their bedroom across the hall. Callen shut the door behind them and turned to her.

“I didn’t think it was possible,” Sofia said quietly as she put her arms around his neck and one of his went around her waist, “to fall more deeply in love with you than I already was but that’s twice today I’ve had it happen.”

Callen pulled her closer, the feel her against him, in his arms, soothed the heartache from today but at the same time created a need and heat within him that he was more than happy to explore after the day they’d had. He slid a hand into Sofia’s hair and tilted her head back slightly to open up her neck. “And what exactly did I do to have that happen?” He trailed kisses from her shoulder to her neck. “Just so I can make sure I continue to do it.” 

“What you did earlier for Dana in that room with that … man. And just now with her.”

Sofia shifted her head and caught his lips with hers. The warmth of her lips, the taste of her, her body softening into his and the emotion he could feel she was pouring into it almost made Callen forgot what they were talking about.

He pulled back and gently ran his thumb over her bottom lip. “Maybe you should show me how deep you’re in now.”

Sofia smiled and started to guide him back toward their bed. “Very happy to.” They tumbled onto it and Sofia ended up on top. She smiled down at him. “You have tomorrow off right?” she asked.

Callen raised an eyebrow. He kept his gaze on her face as she unbuttoned his shirt. “You  know I do.” He hadn’t been sure how things would go today and had made sure he was going to be free if either of his girls needed him. “What are you planning?” The buttons were finished, the shirt pushed open and she was dusting feather-light kisses over his chest. 

“It’s going to take me a long time.” Her breath as she spoke heated his skin, “to make sure I show you exactly how deep I’ve fallen.” Callen tugged her back up for proper kiss as his fingers found the zip on her dress and slid it down. With a sneaky shift, Callen had her dress down to her waist and then flipped her before he repeated the many small kisses over the parts of her skin that were bare as she had done to him. 

“Don’t mind if I show you too do you?”

“No,” Sofia whispered, “go right ahead.” Callen shifted back up her body and caught her lips in a fiery kiss that stopped suddenly when Sofia pulled back with a gasp.

* * *

__

_ “Very well.” Hetty nodded slightly. “You knew Dana’s grandfather.” _

_ Callen frowned. “Who?” _

_ “Ilie.” _

* * *

__

Sofia stared at Callen. Her heart pounded in her chest as her mind struggled to comprehend what she’d just seen. 

“Ilie? …  Dana?” 

Sofia heard the groan and saw the small smile of acceptance even though there was a touch of disappointment on Callen’s face. Sometimes her gift didn’t have the greatest timing and it tended to make itself known more when there was a lot of emotion happening. Today had been full to bursting with it. Callen brushed a soft kiss over her lips, the contact reassuring that he truly didn’t mind, even if he, and she, didn’t like the interruption. 

“If you’ve seen what I think you did, probably should talk first.” Callen rolled over and pulled her into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” Sofia whispered as she settled against his body. She rested her head on his shoulder, her hand over his heart, feeling that steady reassuring beat that she felt she could recognise even if she didn’t know it was him. 

“It’s okay. We’ll get back this soon enough.” 

Sofia lifted her head to look at him. “Ilie’s her grandfather?” Callen nodded. “How?” She remembered his memory so clearly. This knife sticking out of Ilie’s chest, him falling to the sand. She didn’t understand.

“He survived. From what Hetty’s discovered, a nurse found him in time, got him to the hospital. He almost died a few times but fought through. He was there for almost two months before he discharged himself. After that there’s no trace of him in Romania.”

“Is she sure it was him?” It was so hard to believe and she was fighting against that hope that she knew if she let free would be so painful if it wasn’t true.

Callen nodded. “Nell’s been looking into it for her and Nell’s ninety five percent certain.”

“And since Nell’s ninety five would be someone else’s hundred and fifty.” Sofia knew Nell. She knew Hetty too and Hetty knew that giving Callen this information would be guaranteed to get back to her. She also knew neither woman would want to give her that kind of hope that someone from her childhood had actually survived that tragedy. And so she let the hope blossom.

Callen tucked her hair behind her ear, his fingers warm against her skin. “Yeah. We’re sure.”

Sofia frowned. “Dana was born here right?”

Callen nodded. “It seems Ilie fell in love and married his nurse. From what Nell can find they came here about three months after he left the hospital. She found records of a nurse at a small hospital outside of New York with an Americanised version of her name. Husband went by the name Alan. She can’t find any records of them before that even though there are birth and marriage certificates that say they were born here.”

Sofia rested her head back on his shoulder. “Why was Hetty looking for him?”

“She started thinking after she semi-retired.” Sofia felt a slight rumble from Callen’s chest as he chuckled softly. “Think she got bored,” he said. “There were things that happened to me, after we told her what we knew, that bothered her and then she finally had some time to look into it. There’s no mention of a man being found stabbed from the investigation into the deaths on the beach that day. Only two bodies; my mother’s and the shooter’s. It was wrapped up as a murder suicide. The hospital records show it was the nurse Ilie married who brought him in. It’s taken Nell a while to find their trail, confirm it and what happened. She found some medical records on Alan that mention the scar and the damage to the ribs from the knife that didn’t heal properly. Nell kept following the trail and that was how Hetty eventually found Dana.”

Sofia pushed herself up from his arms and stared at him. There was a lump in her throat that she struggled to get the words past as the possibilities ran through her mind. “You mean if Hetty hadn’t been looking Dana would still be…”

Sofia felt the warmth and firmness of Callen’s finger on her lips. Her words stopped. 

Callen shook his head. “No if’s. She’s safe now.” 

Sofia nodded and let out the breath she’d been holding. His finger lingered briefly on her lips before he moved it away.

“Ilie had a daughter,” Callen continued. “Dana’s mother.”

“He had a family of his own.” Sofia smiled. The man who had treated her like a daughter, been there for both her and her father had finally found his way to be a father of his own child. She knew he and Ana had wanted children but it wasn’t meant to be. “I know,” she said softly, “he would’ve made a great father.”

“Fi, there’s more.” Callen sat up and moved closer to her. Sofia felt a shiver of fear shift through her. The look in his eye, the closeness, the physical connection that he created with his touch. She knew him and she knew from his actions that she wasn’t going to like this next part.  

“It was Ilie, his wife, Dana’s mother and father that were all killed in the accident.” 

Sofia frowned and waited, knowing Callen well enough that there was more because that in itself wasn’t enough to put the concern on his face. She already knew a car crash had left Dana alone.

“The accident happened two days after Gregory’s.” Callen’s voice was soft, full of concern and care, but it didn’t help because the pain came anyway as the implications of his words screamed in her mind and broke her heart again. 

“What?” Sofia shifted away from him and stood up.  Her dress slipped to her feet and she stepped out of it before she turned to face him. She watched Callen rise from the bed and move toward her. She took a step back and shook her head to stop him reaching out.

“No please,” she begged. “I need you to tell me. I don’t want to see.” Sofia knew that right now was a prime moment for her to see something and she didn’t think she could handle the words coming from someone else. She needed them from him. His voice, his eyes, the comfort and security that he gave her. The knowledge that if it all became too much all she had to do was ask him to stop. She didn’t have that kind of control when the memories descended; then she was only along for the ride until it ended, wherever that was.

“Nell believes they’re connected.”

“Why? How?” Sofia shook her head and spoke before he could answer here, denial flooding through her strongly. “No ... No ... It was just an accident. They never found the car. It had to have been. They wouldn’t target an innocent -” A sob ripped through her and her body shook. “What am I saying. It’s the Comescus’. Of course they would.”

Callen stepped closer but stopped before he touched her. Sofia knew exactly what he was doing and her heart swelled with love for him. He knew her so well. He was putting himself right there so that when she was ready for him she could reach out and he’d be there. All she’d have to do would be lift her hand. Not even take a step.

“From what Nell found in the reports,” Callen continued, “she’s concluded that the car that hit them was the same one as the one that hit your father and Gregory. There’s enough to convince her of that.”

Sofia’s throat was so tight her voice was barely audible to her own ears, yet he heard her. “Did the police find it?”

Callen nodded. “Witnesses reported that his car ran into a truck that came around the corner after he’d forced the car Dana’s mother was driving off the road and down a ravine.”

Sofia’s hand went to her mouth to stifle a sob. “No.” She shook her head. “It was just supposed to be an accident.” And even as she said the words she knew they weren’t true. It hadn’t been. “Papa wouldn’t believe it was anything else.”

“Fi,” Callen continued, “there was damage on the car that wasn’t from the second accident. Damage that matches in with Gregory’s. And the driver’s body was identified. He worked for a company that had ties to the Comescus.”

Sofia reached for him, the need for the comfort he could give her too strong to hold back anymore. In an instant his arms were around her and she was held right where she felt safest. “You’re instincts were right Fi,” Callen murmured into her hair. “They always were.”

Sofia lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “They found us, but they didn’t come back again.”

“Nell has a theory. She thinks that he was planning to come back again to you, to finish ... but obviously didn’t make it.”

“Why didn’t someone else come?” The warmth from Callen’s body was seeping into Sofia’s; calming her, easing the pain that was still searing her heart with the confirmation that her bright and caring little boy had indeed been murdered.

“Nell thinks he was waiting to have completed the job before he reported back. That he didn’t want to tell them he’d failed, even if it was in a small way. It’s just a theory. We’re not likely to find anything else out.” Callen’s fingers were gentle when he reached up to brush the tears from her cheeks. “At least now we know.”

Sofia nodded and tilted her head into the palm of his hand. “Is this ever going to end with them?” she asked.

“It’s over Fi. It’s over. We just may not know everything they did yet.” Callen’s hands cupped the back of her head, his thumbs brushed her cheeks as his lips moved softly over hers. A reassuring touch reminding her that he was there for her. He lifted his head and smiled, his hands still comfortingly warm as they held her head. “And now Dana has us,” Callen added. “Now I can pay back Ilie for what he did for my family by protecting his.”

Sofia bit her lip before she smiled. “I guess that’s one way to look at it.” Not that Ilie would ever have done anything with the expectation of payback. “Though you didn’t know that when you protected Dana this morning did you?” He wouldn’t have needed to. Sofia knew that. She looked into his eyes and saw what she always saw when she looked beyond the blue and deep into his soul. The man she loved - loyal, strong and courageous. A protector right through to the very core of who he was.

“No. Hetty only told me tonight. She also said the world works in mysterious ways.”

Sofia chuckled softly. “Hetty works in mysterious ways. She knew this when she asked us to take her in did she?” She knew Callen had suspected for some time that there had been more to Dana’s story but had accepted that Hetty would tell them when she felt it was the right time to do. No doubt Hetty hadn’t wanted to tell until they were sure of everything.

Callen nodded.  

“We’re more family than we realised,” Sofia said. The twists and turns that all their lives had taken had eventually led them to each other, to what they all needed.

Callen smiled. “Always will be.” 

Callen’s hands left her face and Sofia instantly missed the warmth and connection that touch had given. It returned quickly when his fingers trailed gently up her spine. She felt the hooks on her bra release with the practiced ease of his fingers. The heat from earlier flowed back through her body, pushing away the pain. The desire in his look, the love in his eyes and that special half smile he knew sent her thoughts in this direction whenever he used it, had her passion rising again. His fingers left a trail of heat on her shoulders as he nudged the straps down and discarded her bra absently on the floor. Before Sofia knew it Callen had tumbled them back onto the bed, in a way she had never figure out how he did - he never squashed her, always kept his weight off her even though he kept the contact between their bodies. Not once had he ever hurt her with the move. He looked down at her and she reached her hand up to cup his face. Her thumb brushed over the slight whiskers on his cheeks; the rough familiarity to it both comforting and arousing. Callen’s hand slowly moved from her hip lightly over her skin to her waist and then higher. Her eyes drifted closed. When he stopped it was her turn to groan in frustration. Sofia opened her eyes to see the smile on his face that said he knew exactly what she wanted and what it was doing to her that he wasn’t there … yet. So much promise in them. He lowered his head and brushed a kiss over her lips as his hand started to move again, ever so slowly. 

“Now,” Callen whispered against her ear before he trailed a line of hot kisses down her neck.  “Where were we?”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Translations in Romanian from Google translate - figured I'd stick with the same source rather than search for an accurate one - after all I'm not going to know if it's accurate. The dream from her view will be in the next chapter and the words will be in English so for those parts that weren't translated in some way here, you will get to know what she is saying, though I hope I've done a good enough job that you can work it out with the context and Callen's thoughts around it.
> 
> Hoping to hear your thoughts on this so far.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
